Well Blog Sphere, I think I am almost ready to get back onto my blogging feet. But I will probably cry through writing this entire post.

Today’s message is dedicated to my aunt, my beautiful, sweet, spicy Aunt Janell. Janell is my mother’s oldest sister. They are 10 years apart. For as long as I can remember, Janell has been a part of my life. She is my ROCK. I have loved every moment of my relationship with her! This year she would have turned 87!

In December she fell and broke her hip. A few weeks later in January, I got a call from my siblings, “Janell is not doing well, if you want to see her, you should come soon.” So I ran off to Oregon. They had just had a huge ice storm. Another storm was on its way. But if I timed it right, I could get up there and back in the window. So I went. Drove up on Tuesday and home on Thursday. My dad’s, my mom’s, my brother’s, and my uncle’s (Janell’s) houses were all without power. Somehow, my sister, where I chose to stay, never lost power. That was a huge blessing. I will spare you all of the crazy details (and they were very crazy!) because this post is about my aunt, not necessarily my experience. But I visited her. She looked frail, but managing. Over the three days I saw her, her color improved and she started having a little bit of an attitude. Ah, there she is, she is going to be OK. She hated the food at the rehab center. Janell is an amazing cook, seriously, amazing. And, she is…..shall I say…..picky…..and loud about it. Oh, I love her so much! The food was ‘garbage!’ and she did not want to eat it! So they were making her drink ‘Ensure’ and that was the WORST! No one should EVER drink that stuff! Plus, she had some dietary restrictions. She was diabetic and gluten free, and though it was probably in her chart, and the rehab center probably was doing the best they could, the food was NEVER right. I knew if she would eat (or drink Ensure), she would be alright.

A few weeks later, word came that her ‘hip-fix’ wasn’t working and they were going to take her to the hospital for a full hip replacement. So a few days later when I heard she was back at the hospital, I didn’t think too much of it. Then I heard, no, not for a hip replacement, she is there because she is in respiratory failure. Shoot! I knew we were in trouble because she also has heart issues and has for awhile. The weather was bad. I didn’t make it back up there before she passed away. In fact, the night she passed away, I had prayed, ‘Please, Heavenly Father, let her know she is loved. She is safe. It is OK for her to go. She has lived a long time and done a lot of good work. She has lived a great life. Help her to feel safe and know that it is ok for her to let go. We will be alright.’ When I shared those thoughts with my sister, she said, Carin, I prayed for the same thing that night….and so did Jared (one of our brothers).

Janell is our mother, our emotional mother. We have a mom and we love her. But she hasn’t been a very stable place for us. Janell was always there. Janell was stable. Her heart and home were always open. Her advice was always applicable. And the food always tasted better at her house, probably because we knew it was made with love, and there was always plenty of it. When any of us really needed something, we went to Janell. She is sassy, spunky, smart, stylish, silly, swank, super sweet (all the s’s😉😂). Her son said this at her memorial, “My mother was a praying woman. If my dad asked her to say the prayer, we all knew we should just settle in because we were going to BE there for awhile!” Oh that just warms my heart, because we all felt that kind of love from her. We knew she prayed for us.

I am so sad she is gone, and not here. I am not sad for her, however. I am only sad for me, and for us, the people she left behind. I know Janell has gone home to that Father who gave her life. She went to stand before Him and to account for her time here on Earth. She had a lot of great stories to tell. And there is no doubt in my mind that she was able to stand there with confidence because of the kind of life she lived. She loves God and His Son, Jesus Christ. She tried to live the things He taught and do the things He asked of her. She is that kind of a woman.

You know how when we have a new baby coming to earth, and we have a party to celebrate their arrival? We buy gifts, throw a shower, paint the room, buy new sheets for the crib, get a few new stuffed animals? I like to think they are doing the same thing on the other side of the veil. Janell’s sisters, and her parents and grandparents who have gone on before her probably knew she would be arriving soon. They were excited to see her and visit with her and hear all about her mortality adventures! I think they prepared a party. I just imagine that is how it is. They are just people, like we are people. They just left their bodies here on earth. But they remember their relationships and their feelings for one another. Only…. when Janell crossed the veil, they remember who she was and who they are. They remembered all of the things they did together. They were excited to have her join their ranks. I know Janell is fine. She is happy. She is free of pain, and struggle. I am sure there is work for her to do and she is keeping busy, too. I know I will see her again when it is my turn to cross through the veil. And I know she will be waiting there for me, and I will have the opportunity to share with her all of my adventures that I have had since she left. I only hope that I can live in such a way that I will be able to go where she is…..

When I went up for her memorial, I had another blessing from my Father in Heaven. My best friend from high school, her mother had passed away three weeks before. But they happened to be having her memorial the same week we held Janell’s memorial. I was able to attend both services, and to see my friend and her family, who were also hurting because of the loss of their mother.

As we are approaching Easter weekend, it is an appropriate time to recognize that being able to return to God and eventually be resurrected (meaning to have our spirits reunited with our bodies, never to be separated again) are only possible because of the gifts of our Savior Jesus Christ. Without Him, we could never return. Without Him, we would never be resurrected. Because of the fall of Adam and Eve, death and sin entered the world. Both sin and death separate us from our Father, and keep us from returning to Him. But our elder Brother, through His miraculous atonement, has overcome sin and death, giving us the opportunity to repent, and make changes, to do something different than we once did. That gift is available to all who will choose to accept and live His laws and to follow Him. Christ died and was buried. On the third day, He rose again, reuniting His body and spirit. All who have lived in mortality will be resurrected.

Elder Neil L. Anderson described it this way:

Death is not the end, but a necessary step in our progression, just as was our birth.

We remain the same person we were prior to our death but without our body…eventually our spirit will reunite with our body. This is the resurrection. Our personal identity will remain with us forever. The faith, understanding, character, and qualities we develop on earth go with us. For all of us, death is an important transition to the next stage in God’s plan of happiness for His children. We continue to learn and progress. We continue to have interaction with others.

Reflections on Life after Death, Liahona Oct. 2020 (Digital only)

I LOVE my aunt!! I am so grateful for her life and her example. She exemplified the teachings of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ, for His life and His example! I am glad that death is not the end, and that I KNOW that! ‘Til we meet again, my sweet aunt Nellie! I will keep on, keepin’ on!