Today was the day. Spanky left for BYU—
off to college. It is such a bitter sweet day, like when Slim left for Brazil. There really isn’t any other place I would want them to be! They are doing what they are supposed to be doing and going where they are supposed to be going. They are becoming who they are supposed to become.
And yet, I know they will not be the same when they come home. I will miss them. All the things they do around the house, all of the things they do with and for me, those things will remind me that they are not here….
not here for me to talk to every day, not here to hold and love and tease, not here to discuss and learn and grow with. No one told me in the fine print of parenting that I would give my heart to these people and that even when they were doing everything they should be doing, all of those things that make parents proud, that my heart would be ripped out and writhing on the floor because they leave. Such a paradox–totally happy and totally sad, all at the same time.
Spanky wasn’t the only one to leave today. Scuff and Sport left for trek. They will only be gone for a few days, instead of months or years. But how quiet the house is with only half of our children here. It is an omen of things to come. Quiet, quiet, quiet……. Those older sisters would tell me the day would come when the house would be quiet and I would long for these days again–all the hustle and bustle of family. I knew they were right and at the same time, I really didn’t believe it would ever happen. Yet, every once in a while, here it is. It will be right in my face as school begins and everyone is away for a few hours every day.
I love being a mother….love my job…..love my people. I just hope I can give the younger ones the time and attention the older ones have had, especially since I miss them so much!
We will miss you Spanky!
We are proud of you!!
Love Mom and Dad!