I had wanted my 300th post to be something totally spectacular and special….instead it has just proved to be a big factor in writer’s block!
I have so much running around in my head and heart right now, that I just decided that I had better give up my ‘big dreams’ of what the 300th post should look like and start writing so I can move on!
|copyright Karen Larsen photography|
Starting from today and moving backward:
I have had a few more Ms. P interactions (for background, see this post [The Saga] and this post [Lessons learned from the Saga]). The interesting thing is that since I know and understand why I have issues with her, when we have another Ms. P incident, I can recognize that my initial reactions are not kind and should be curtailed until I have more time to think and process a proper response. This week, I was again infuriated at another incident. Instead of reacting immediately, I simply left the situation, and prayed for help in responding like the Savior. My anger was still an issue in the evening (incident began about 2:30). But as I wound down for the evening and got ready for bed, one of my children made a comment that led to a thought that gave me new insight into some of her struggles. My heart softened and as I drifted off to sleep, I had a clear idea of what my behavior should be. Then in the morning I prayed for more strength and acted. However she chooses to react to my action, is not my responsibility. It is hers. I was kind. I was gentle. I was open and managed my response with an open heart and with the Spirit.
This week we have been catching up on Sun’s homework. I think it is all in a good place. We are actually on track and I don’t think it will cause us too much stress to keep on top of it.
My laundry is backed up from two weeks of not doing it because of March madness and illness. The games are back on tomorrow and I only have one person who is still kind of sick. The rest of us are functioning. And I have been plowing through the laundry.
Sport has been getting everything ready for graduation and his attendance at BYU in the summer and fall. You know, even though the kids grow and leave the house and they aren’t here everyday to eat each meal and wash their laundry, they still need my time and attention. Sometimes I need to drop whatever my agenda is for the day because one of the college boys calls and wants or needs to talk or needs help with something. Because their schedules are crazy, with school and work and activities, I usually need to drop my agenda to talk with them when they are available. I guess it still amazes me how much time it takes and trying to make the sacrifice to drop whatever I think I need to be doing at that moment. Crazy.
I watched a girl friend’s little people for about an hour the other day (they were about 2 years and 3 years old). All I could think of when they left was, wow, I am so very glad we are older than that. They were adorable and not any trouble. Really. It just reminded me how very difficult those days were when we were all so very little! Exhausting. There is a special place reserved in heaven for mothers whose children are so little and so close together.
Elder Holland said so:
In speaking of mothers generally, I especially wish to praise and encourage young mothers. The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. The young years are often those when either husband or wife—or both—may still be in school or in those earliest and leanest stages of developing the husband’s breadwinning capacities. Finances fluctuate daily between low and nonexistent. The apartment is usually decorated in one of two smart designs—Deseret Industries provincial or early Mother Hubbard. The car, if there is one, runs on smooth tires and an empty tank. But with night feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young mother is simply fatigue. Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island. …..