Last night we went to Shorty’s basketball game.  It was against a team in one of our outlying areas.  The game was held in the skating rink.  The floor was blue and hard.  As Drew and I watched the teams warm up, I knew it was going to be a slaughter house.  Their team was half the size of ours, in number of players and in their height and body build.  I thought, “This isn’t going to be any fun to watch.”

Just picture the ceilings higher and the floor blue concrete with bball hoops!

The last time we had played this team, Shorty was sick so we didn’t go to the game.  I guess we beat them 48 – 4.  I was worried.

When it came time for the game to start, our coach put in all of the second string players.  “That’s great!” I thought!  They played for a quarter and a half and the score was 18 – 2.  Then he put in our first string players.  We wondered what the heck they were doing.  Then we noticed that none of the boys were shooting unless they were behind the three point line.  What are they doing?  After a few minutes of play, the coach pulled them all out and put the second sting back in.

We weren’t the first ones to think of it…see the scoreboard?

One of the boys came to talk to his dad who happened to be standing behind us.  (You know, standing on the wall of the skating rink??  We were sitting on a bench in front of the wall.)  “The coach told us that we couldn’t drive at all.  We could only shoot three’s.  He won’t let us do anything else!” he reported.  Interesting.

I have to tell you though, the highlight of the game came in the third quarter.  They had a player on their team who probably had not made a basket all season.  He was just a tiny little guy with coke bottle glasses.  He didn’t play defense or even seem to have any cognition about what was going on around him.  As the ball came down the floor (their team as offense), his teammates gathered around him and told him where to stand.  Our boys all kind of stood in place with their hands up.  They passed their teammate the ball and encouraged him to shoot.  The ball ricocheted off the back board not even approaching the basket.  Our team got the ball and took it down to the other end and shot three’s.  When their team came back to their basket, the scene repeated itself.  The only difference was when Shorty rebounded the ball and instead of passing it to the outlet, he handed it back to their player and encouraged him to shoot the ball again.  I almost cried. 

I was so proud of my son.  Here we were in a competitive arena and he had a great coach who understood what was important that day.  Shorty understood enough to know what was happening and to do the right thing to encourage the growth of someone he didn’t even know.  It just renewed my faith in the good people of the earth knowing when and how to do the right thing, to take a competitive agenda and turn it into morality, and then to teach that to the children.

Yesterday I was driving the home from dropping the children off at school.  As I hit the stop light close to my house in the busy morning traffic, I noticed a large, white van blocking traffic.  The driver was out of his vehicle trying to push it around the corner of the intersection.  Obviously, the car was not cooperating.  He was blocking three lanes of traffic.

“There’s no way he is going to be able to do that,” I thought, especially knowing the direction he was headed has a steep, immediate incline.  Just as a I thought that, an old Volkswagen van two cars ahead of me swerved into the parking lot on the corner.  “I bet he is going to help him.”  pause, pause “I’m going to help too,” and I pulled my car into the same parking lot.  After all, I was just heading home.  I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be.

Now, I realize that I am not a young, spring chicken, in fact, I’m an old lady of almost 44 and have given birth to nine children and gained 60 pounds from my youth.  However, I have always been a strong and sturdy built woman.  I don’t have the same strength I did when I was younger, but several times over my lifetime I helped people with something physical only for them to remark, “Oh my.  You’re a lot stronger than you look.”  So I wasn’t too worried that there were only going to be two of us pushing the van.  After all, many hands make light work, and two people pushing is better than only one, even if one of them is an overweight older woman.

It probably took the three of us (driver included) about 20 minutes just to move the van out of traffic.  Remember, the van now has no power steering either, and the driver was at least 20 years older than me.  Even though he was a larger man, turning that wheel was like trying to move a boulder, because he kind of was.  In the process of moving the van, the first responder had the van’s hood close on his hand, removing a part of the skin.  As we pushed from the front to allow gravity to give us a little more space to turn to the curb, the open hood shut right onto the side of his hand.  He didn’t bleed, but shaved off a layer of skin.

We finally got the van to the side of the road, set the emergency break, and turned the hazards on.  I offered the Volkswagen man some neosporin I happen to have in my purse (remember I am a mother of boys….it is kind of a standard necessity).  He was impressed that I was so prepared.  I did not however, have a bandaid.  I usually have one of those too.  He said not to worry about it.  He just lived over there and motioned up the street.

As we were getting to our vehicles, it hit me!  “Hey, are you my Volkswagen loving neighbor?”

Confused, he turned around.  “Every time I walk by your house (the one with three Volkswagens) I think to myself, ‘Wow, they must really love Volkswagens.'”

“I’m doing pretty well,” he said.  “I’ve only got this one now,” motioning to his van.

“Oh, well I just live up the street this way.  I’m Carin, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you!  I”m John.”

I have been meeting a lot of my neighbors recently.  My little Smilely is playing on a basketball team that includes another family from the neighborhood who we didn’t know.  It has been so nice to get to know our neighbors.  They are some pretty amazing people!

Next time you see that someone might need help, take a moment to offer your services, even if they will be declined.  You might just meet one of your neighbors, like me!

(Sorry, no photos, the baby is crying and I have to get breakfast ready for the clan 🙂

Sunday evening Smiley told me that he had a headache and wanted some ibuprofen.  No problem.  I got him some.  Then Spike told me that he needed ‘orange medicine’, because we buy the liquid kind for the little guys.  I couldn’t think of why Spike would need it, except that Smiley was getting some.  So I told him that he didn’t need it.

All day on Monday, Spike didn’t really eat.  By the end of the day, he had eaten 8 Ritz crackers, 1 banana, and 1 avocado, and several glasses of water or coconut milk.  He kept telling me he was hungry, but then he wouldn’t eat.  (He usually only does that when he is teething, but I thought all of his teeth were in.)

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Lately he has also quit taking naps, since about Christmas time, so we have been putting him to bed between 7 and 8 p.m.  Last night, I was at basketball practice with Shorty when Spike fell asleep and went to bed.  By the time I got home, only about 8:45, he was awake again and crying.  I had the thought he just might need some ibuprofen.  I fixed some up and took it to him.

I brought it into his room, while he is crying on his sister’s lap in his bed.  “Do you want some orange medicine?”

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“Yes.”  And he took it and drank it without complaint.  Then he was ready to lay down and go to sleep.  I laid down beside him, covered him all up, put medicine of his itching feet.  He started to breath deeper.  Then he said, “Thank you giving me orange medicine.”

I felt so bad.  He did need orange medicine.  “Have your teeth been hurting?”

“Yes.”  So sorry little baby!!!

“I am sorry I didn’t listen to you last night.  I should have given you some.  Sometimes I need to listen better.”

And off he went to sleep.  Silly mother.  Sometimes you don’t know it all and you should listen to your two year-old!

About four weeks ago, the Bishops and Stake Presidents in California received a notice from the First Presidency of the Church asking the members of the state of California to hold a special fast on the first Sunday of February for rain.

This was in December!

We have had a huge drought here in California.  I am not one of those statistics girls, so I don’t know how long it has been happening.  Some people have said ‘Years!’  Others have said, ‘Drought?  What drought?’  But regardless of how long it has been happening, the weather pattern where we live has been just nuts.  It usually starts raining sometime in October and doesn’t stop until the end of May.  Seriously.  We usually have one beautiful, sunny, warm day after Christmas and right before January.  Then July is cold and foggy and wet.  But this year, our Indian Summer has been extended through January.  We have had the most beautiful weather with sun!

and this!

Drew’s co-worker watches the weather.  He is not a member of our faith and I do not know if he believes in God or not.  But he came to work one day and said, ‘There is this strange high pressure zone over California and it is just keeping all that rain we normally get out over the ocean.’

Then we, all the members in California, fasted for rain the first Sunday in February.  Drew’s co-worker came back to work on Monday and said, ‘It’s gone.  The high pressure zone just disappeared!  Gone.’  And then it started raining, and raining, and raining.  After an entire week of rain, today is the first time it has been dry enough to go for a walk outside.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Ya….this is usually what it looks like…..

After following the advice and counsel and request of the prophets, we have rain.  We still need a lot more rain, probably months and months worth.  But it is just another testament to me of the blessings of obedience.

And this.

(I started it on Friday……..does that count?)

Have you ever just wondered how you motivate your children to understand that they are unique and they have a special purpose in life, that they are amazing and have been given great and marvelous gifts and yet still understand that they are a part of a larger picture where they need to be humble with the talents the Lord has blessed them with and be willing to lift others and help them see their individual and unique gifts?  I mean, where is the line?  You want your children to know they are special, that they have a unique place to fill in the world, but not be so puffed up with their own conceit that they are unwilling to help others and lift them.  Am I making any sense?

All of us have unique gifts.  It says so in the scriptures.

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D and C 46: 11-12

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I wanted to know what it meant.  What does it mean that ‘Satan desires to sift us as wheat’?  That same conference, Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave this address (click here).  In it, he said these words:

A selfish person is more interested in pleasing man—especially himself—than in pleasing God. He looks only to his own needs and desires. He walks “in his own way, and after the image of his own god, whose image is in the likeness of the world” (D&C 1:16). Such a person becomes disconnected from the covenant promises of God (see D&C 1:15) and from the mortal friendship and assistance we all need in these tumultuous times. In contrast, if we love and serve one another as the Savior taught, we remain connected to our covenants and to our associates.

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Recently, as I have understood a little more of my role in mortality, I have not been as afraid to stand out in life.  I do not need to be or wish to be the center of attention.  But I have also stopped hiding my light under a bushel, if you will.  I am out in our community, in our schools, in my neighborhood.  I do not apologize for my large and loud family.  We do not usually take all of us everywhere we go, but people know we have nine children.  They can tell in their interactions with me that there is something different in my life.  I am happy!  (Even with nine children.)

Once in a while, I even catch them watching me.  I can tell they are thinking and pondering about me.  They can’t quite put their finger on what I already know.  I am different than most of those they know because of the Light of Christ that shines in my life.  It is my understanding of who I am, where I have been and where I am going.  I know who to follow and I know what choices to make.  I teach those things to my children and they are beginning to understand who they are, especially in relation to those around them.

They know for instance, that even though their role is to be the salt and to be the light, ALL of the people of the earth are children of God, are their brothers and sisters, are people who have talents and gifts within them.  They recognize they have a responsibility to encourage those people, those friends and acquaintances in the paths that will bring them the most joy and the most happiness.  Those paths are always the ones in line with the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ as taught in the scriptures and by the prophets.  Even if their friends will not listen to the missionaries, or read the Book of Mormon, they can encourage them in righteous choices that will bring them closer to a place where one day they will accept the message.  Each step forward is the right way, and sometimes, just being their friend and giving them encouragement will influence them to make a better choice.

Our salt and light isn’t intended to be the center.  It is intended to improve and influence, to enhance the lives of our brothers and sisters who do not necessarily know the laws of eternity, to give guidance and direction, which implies allowing them to use their agency.  Allowing agency means sometimes, maybe a lot of times depending upon the people we are working with, we will be rejected.  Rejection is not a measure indicating the message or advice or counsel is bad.  It is simply agency, and a reflection of the heart receiving the message.  If you are rejected, simply move on.  Don’t push, just move on.  Look for those who are watching you and pondering.  You can see it in their eyes.  Reach out to those who are wondering why you are different, and then explain it to them.

As you pray about those around you, the Lord will help you to know who are the prepared of heart.  He knows their thoughts and their intents.  He has heard their quiet questions wondering why you are different.  He will lead you to those who want to know.  Then be willing to open your mouth and share who you are and be the salt and the light you were intended to be.

Have you ever had one of those looks from a kid that says, “You do not know what you are talking about,” even when you did know exactly what you were talking about?  I have experienced it regularly, but received it yet again at practice the other night.

5th grade boys basketball practice.  It is far enough away from our home, that it doesn’t warrant dropping our son off and then driving back to pick him up later.  I just stay and observe practice for the hour and a half.  I usually keep my mouth shut so as not to interfere with the coaches and their objectives.  Periodically, I will say something to my son about his play or techniques. 

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Shorty listens to me.  He learned from his older brother, ‘Mom does know what she is talking about when it comes to basketball.’  Our current 9th grader would never listen to me when I gave him basketball advice.  He didn’t think I knew what I was talking about either.  He shared with his brother that he ‘learned that the hard way’.  My boys didn’t ever see me play, and now that I am older and have so many responsibilities, I really do not play, ever, so how are they suppose to know?  Anyway, Speedy told Shorty that after a few years, he decided to try some of the things I was telling him.  Then he realized, ‘Hey, I’m making almost all of the points for our team!’  Duh!

Back to practice.  I decided to go out of my way to help a young man at practice who was obviously struggling.  They were running a play, over and over and over to kind of get it in the boys’ heads.  The defense knew the play so instead of playing true defense, they were overplaying to cause difficulties during the play.  This particular boy’s defender was actually playing defense between his player and the side-line, instead of his player and the basket.  The path to the middle of the key was wide open!  But the young man kept pushing against his defender to get out into the wing position to catch the ball and run the play.  He was kind of missing the point…….that the ball needs to go into the hoop.  (Yes, I understand that they are practicing the play, but when your defender is going to cheat like that, you sometimes, several times, have to burn them to keep them honest on the court.  You have to use your head in practice too.)

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During a break, I mentioned those thoughts to this young man.  He completely blew me off.  I could read in his face and his body language that he had no intention of following my counsel.  And he didn’t.  He continued to fight and push against his defender the rest of the practice.

ya….he looked like that.

or like this.

Then this morning, I began to wonder.  Do we do that to our Heavenly Father, or the prophet, or our bishop or a well meaning friend?  Do we receive proper counsel, righteous counsel, counsel that will eternally help us and our family and then just blow it off because we do not think it will work or we discount the source it is coming from?  Probably more likely, we have received inspiration, or revelation and thought that it would not work or be beneficial so we have blown it off.  Certainly that has happened to me.

Here is a classic example:  School had just ended a week earlier.  I had the thought that we should change the kids’ elementary school.  We had been attending the current elementary school since we had moved into the area.  I liked our teachers.  I do not like change, especially where children are concerned.  We were in a routine.  ‘That’s a stupid idea,’ I thought.

Next week:  ‘You should change the kids’ elementary school.’
‘That is just nuts!  What a dumb idea!’

Next week:  ‘You should change the kids’ elementary school.’
‘That is so crazy!  I had this thought last week and I thought it was stupid then…….Hey!  Wait a minute!  I have had this thought three times and each time I have thought it was stupid.  This isn’t my thought….’  Then I began entertaining the idea (not in a pleasant way, much more with an attitude…)  ‘Where would they go anyway?!!’  Then another school popped into my head, the one, of course, where I complained that people who attended that school must be out of their minds to drive so far away.

But I began to do my research.  I called the school, met the principal, toured the school, and we made the change, which happened to be a huge blessing and benefit to our family.

The point is, we need to be able to recognize valid sources of information and then listen to them and apply their counsel.  Our Father in Heaven does not intend us to navigate this life blindly or without assistance.  In our day and age where so many voices have opinions and platforms from which they spew them, we must find the truth and the information that will bring us peace and happiness.  That information comes from a loving Heavenly Father who has set up a system whereby we can know truth, recognize it and train ourselves to act upon it.  Look to the scriptures.  Look to the prophets.  Learn how the Holy Ghost works within you.  Measure those thoughts you have against the scriptures and the prophets and the feelings you have inside about them.  Remember that all that is good comes of God….all that is wicked comes from Satan (Moroni 7:12).

Just because our basketball advice is coming from some old, fat mom, doesn’t mean that it is wrong!  Check your sources kid!

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 Yesterday was another crazy day in our primary.  The kids were a little wound up, but not too bad.  We finally have most of our teachers in place, which is more than half of the battle.  I found out when we were getting ready to begin opening exercises that I would be winging singing time again, and it was my month for sharing time.

Singing time wasn’t too bad because last week we had a stake leadership training where I prepared a singing time presentation and then didn’t end up using it, so I just used that because I happened to have it in my church bag!  Thanks for that!  I was prepared for my sharing time so that went fairly well also.

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There are a few things I have noticed that have made our sharing times function better.  The first is to not really have any down time.  If you are taking time with a child, to help them look up a scripture or to get them to think about something, during that time, you will almost always lose the other children in the room.  They just don’t have the patience to sit there quietly while someone else is figuring things out. 

Our sharing time yesterday had several scriptures that needed to be read and then together, the group decides whether that scripture was talking about the premortal life (before birth), mortality (Earth life), or life after death.  I wrote each scripture down on a 5×7 piece of paper, and then a quick synopsis of what the scripture said to help the children understand the point of the scripture.  Then I handed out the papers while we were doing something else and asked those with papers to look up their scripture and be prepared to read it.

I had also prepared picture representations of each of the stages in the Plan of Salvation.  I basically used this outline, but I made it large enough to be seen across the room, and used colored construction paper.

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We had a quick discussion as to what each of the options looked like, for instance, in the premortal life we were spirit bodies but did not have a temporal body.  Then to get from the premortal life to Earth life, we participated in the process called birth.  We then talked about Earth life and the transition from Earth life to life after death and what happens to our bodies, spiritual and temporal.  And we discussed that our bodies and spirits will be reunited during the resurrection, never to be separated again.  (If you want a more in depth look at these doctrines and the scriptures that back them up, click here.)

As we presented these materials and discussed those ideas, a few of the children had questions.  We took the time to answer their questions.  This is where learning is really happening!!!  When the children feel comfortable enough with you to ask questions, sincere, heart-felt questions, that’s what we want to encourage and respond to their questions appropriately.  One question was ‘After we are resurrected, can we go back to Earth?’.  I wasn’t quite sure of exactly what he was asking, so as I answered that I wasn’t sure, someone behind me (the pianist) said, ‘Yes we do 13th Article of Faith.’  (I think she meant the 10th Article of Faith)  OK….let’s run with that.  Then I taught them that the Earth has a spirit.  The Earth has been baptized.  We are taught that the Earth will receive a Celestial glory and become the sphere whereon those who also inherit a Celestial glory will live.  So the answer to his question is yes….if he lives to become worthy to inherit the Celestial kingdom, he not only will return to the Earth, but he will live here for eternity.  But I think what he was really asking was ‘After we are resurrected, can we come back to Earth to visit people…..’  I made the mistake of not clarifying his question or asking if I adequately answered it.  I should have done both of those things.

Another question was how are our physical bodies created.  To which I answered, “Well, mothers and fathers together create those physical bodies for our spirits to inherit…..and if you need more explanation than that, you’ll need to talk to you parents.”

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I also took the opportunity to teach those children that our Father in Heaven wants us to ask questions.  He has given us prophets and those prophets have written down their interactions with Deity, they are recorded as scriptures.  So if we will read the words of the prophets and the scriptures, we can know the answers to some of our questions.  Our Father in Heaven wants us to want to know how and why things happen the way they do.  He has provided answers and He will provide each of us with our own answers if we are willing to pay the price.  That price is faith, study, and obedience.  When we are prepared to receive the answers, those answers will come, even if they don’t come to us in this life time.

Our sharing time was significantly longer than it should have been, but we didn’t assign a talk for this week so we had some extra time to fill.  It all worked out well.

When those we teach feel comfortable asking questions, we are having a successful class period.  It isn’t so much about the topic we are teaching as it is about helping others learn to question and then show them how to find the right answers to their questions.  Pointing them in the direction of the scriptures and the prophets is key.  And especially if their age warrants, encouraging them to ask their parents is also significant.

So even though we were a little loud and unruly, people questioned, learning happened, discussion ensued, and that my friends, is success, especially in Primary!

My goal this year has been to write every Friday regardless of how often I have posted during the week.  I missed yesterday, so I am making up for it today.  By the end of the year, I might actually have 52 Friday posts–that’s the goal anyway.

Do you ever feel like you are trying really hard to live the gospel and do the things you know are right, but there is just this one place where you are fighting yourself?  The conversation goes something like this:

“I really need to [insert you issue here].”
“I know I need to, but I just don’t want to do that.  It is going to take a lot of [your sacrifice here]”
“But I know it is something Heavenly Father wants me to do.  Here are some of the blessings for doing it:  ….”
“But I don’t want to make those sacrifices.  Look at what I have already done.  Why is more required?  I just don’t want to do that.”

I have this internal conversation all the time, and I am sure I am not alone.  I think sometimes some of us just say, “I am not doing that.  Period.”  (Inferred exclamation mark.)  This is part of our heart work—the place where we make the effort to bring our hearts in line with what we know is right—-it’s called an attitude adjustment. (I was going to stick the words of the song ‘Attitude Adjustment‘ right here, but I just read them and decided that maybe that wasn’t quite the message I wanted to send or talk about.  Read at your own risk.)

However, I have been known to say in my early days, that for me, the Lord apparently had to throw a brick before I would pay attention sometimes.  Man, those things hurt.  Of course, it wasn’t literally a brick, but it felt like a spiritual brick.

Even though it is painful, the attitude adjustment usually follows, unless we need more than one brick.  But sometimes it has actually taken a brick before I have been willing or able to listen.  I have been trying and trying to think of an example but am struggling to come up with one.  It must be because they are painful experiences and I do not like to remember them…..

But I digress.

My children are oozing with attitude.  The truth be told, I know where they got it.  It comes directly from me.  I have an obedient brain, but I usually need an attitude adjustment (sometimes brick size) before my heart is willing to comply.

I am currently in the middle of a major attitude adjustment.  I didn’t need a brick, but it is taking a crane to get my heart in line with what my brain knows I need to do.  I have been fighting it for more than a year now.  I wish I was humble enough to just submit my will.  But apparently I have a lot of will power, but I haven’t learned yet how to make it do what I know I should because my heart is not quite willing to cooperate.

So down to the nitty gritty of the gospel.  How do we do that heart work??  How do we learn to bend our will and comply?  Here is where Alma steps in to take over our lesson (Alma 32 here, start in v. 21.)

First, we have to decide it is what we are going to do.  We need to understand that our behavior needs to change.  We need to know what we need to do.  It is important to understand that we do not need to know why we need to change.  It is enough to know that we need to change.  The ‘why’ we need to behave a certain way, usually does not follow until after the change has been made.  We can sit around asking why all we want, but it is not a very effective tool for making change.  Understanding does not always bring desire.  But almost always, making the change will bring understanding, because the blessing of knowledge comes after the trial of our faith.

Step 1: Want to change.  Knowledge does not equal desire or willingness.  Alma teaches that “…faith is not a perfect knowledge of things,” but is a “hope for things which are not seen, which are true.”  Then he teaches us to exercise our faith, even if it is just a particle.  What is that particle?

Desire.  “Yea, even if ye can do no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”

Desire is a part of the process.  So if you recognize that you need to change, but you don’t want to, the first thing you can do is to pray for the desire to change.  Ask the Lord to help you, to soften your heart so there is a greater willingness to make the change.  Now, you may get a spiritual brick.  You’ll certainly get an attitude adjustment.  But my experience has been that the Lord knows exactly the right thing to say or the right information to give that will soften our heart and adjust our attitude, and if we are praying for desire, the answer isn’t usually too painful.  (It’s when I am not praying for desire and He still needs to get the information in there that I get a brick.)

Step 2:   Actually plant the seed of your faith, whether that be a temporal seed or a spiritual seed.  Again, our brother Alma, “Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good see, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.”

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I think it is important to note that we recognize that seeds can be good or bad.  Sometimes the change we desire isn’t good.  We need to make sure that the change desired is good, that the new direction we want to go will strengthen us and our families.  Also, we can cast it out by our unbelief.  In other words, we can dismiss important and heart changing seeds because we do not believe change is possible or that our behavior can change results.  (I fight this one all the time with weight loss.  I make an effort for a little while, or I stop doing something I know I should because I feel like it won’t make a difference anyway.  That is so untrue!  (See Elder Condie’s talk below.)  We can make a difference and we can change, even lifetime habits.  That is why we are on earth, to learn how to make changes and then to make those positive changes stick!)  Did you know when we do that (cast the seed out), we are resisting the Spirit of the Lord?  I definitely need an attitude adjustment so as not to resist the Spirit of the Lord (I think this is where I am fighting the current battle.)

Step 3:  Recognize the seed as good.  (Alma 32: 28-35 specifically, read for greater clarification.)  How do you know if the seed is good?  Basically, it increases your faith.  You can see and feel the positive results of having planted the seed.  What does this look like?  Well let’s just take something simple for example.  Let’s say the desired change is to pay your tithing.  You know you should do it.  You have prayed for the desire and now you want to do it, but actually writing the check and letting the money go is still a struggle.  If you never pay it, have you ever planted the seed?  No.  You have to actually go through with the behavior.  You have to write the check and turn it in to the bishop or one of his counselors.  AFTER you have done this, the blessings come.  For instance, your budget wasn’t working out on paper, but you paid your tithing first, and sometime during the month a friend called and asked to buy that old thing you have sitting in the garage and it just happened to be enough money to cover the expenses (plus tithing) of what you were short for the month.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Then Alma says, “Doesn’t that increase your faith?”  Did you see the result?  Was it good?  This step helps us to recognize the behaviors that bring positive change.

A lot of us stop at this stage of the process.  Alma cautions us, “O then, is not this real?  I say  unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?
     “Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith; for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the see was good.”

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We cannot ‘lay aside our faith’ by not continuing the behavior.  We get tired and lazy and we think, ‘Hey, ya…I did that.  Things were good.  That’s enough.’  Well, it isn’t.  That is step 4.  If we stop gardening here, all of our plants will die.  They are just tiny little things.  Sure they have sprouted, but without care, they just wither away.  The same thing happens with our faith.

Step 4:  Nourish the plant.  Alma says, “And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us.  And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.”

That whole nourishing thing……it doesn’t say every once in a while.  You can’t pay your tithing, attend church, read your scriptures, say your prayers, have family home evening (for myself I’ll add eat salad and watch my sugar and avoid milk) every once in a while and have the desired results.  Those behaviors have to be done ‘with great care’.  (Verse 38 tells you what happens if you neglect your faith plant.)

Step 5:  Faith, Diligence, and Patience.  I really, really struggle through this phase.  Here is where I really have to kick myself into working.  “But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith, with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.
   “And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof…..”

getsimplifized.com

Obviously, this step takes time, which in our current society, we aren’t exactly thrilled with.  We have a society bent on immediate gratification.  We have fast food, fast internet, immediate money (even if it comes with high interest rates).  We are spoiled in that when we want something, it doesn’t usually take us too long to get it.  We do not readily practice long-suffering, diligence, or exercise patience over many things.  Those of us who have acquired the self-discipline to put off immediate gratification have to choose to do so with the mocking of the world in the background.

But it isn’t until after all of this time and effort that Alma promises us the desired results of our faith.  Verse 43:  “Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.”

Step 6:  Reap the fruit.  Here is where your rewards come.  But it wasn’t without a lot of work, time, and effort.

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Changing our attitude is just a part of the process.  Sometimes I think it has to happen several times over the course of our experiment.  We may have to pray for the desire.  Then we may have to pray for space to plant the seed and furrow the ground to make it ready for planting.  That can be a painful process in and of itself.  We may have to pray for help in recognizing the good that is coming from having planted the seed.  I definitely have to pray to keep nourishing it, to remember not to forget what I am trying to accomplish and not slip back into my bad habits.  And I have to pray for patience and endurance in the change process, every time.

If you need an attitude adjustment, just ask for one.  Because He wants us all to return to Him and He knows what will bring us happiness and peace, our Father in Heaven will be happy to provide the incentives to motivate you for change.  And if you ask, you may not have to be hit with a brick.

Here is a beautiful story of a change of heart, and it only takes four minutes of your time:

And here are a few other thoughts from General Conference:

A Mighty Change of Heart–Elder Spencer J. Condie

Preserving the Heart’s Mighty Change–Elder Dale G. Renlund

Today the rain is falling all around, finally.  We have had the driest winter I can remember.  The weather has been gorgeous, to say the least.  (Sorry to all you people who are in that cold, arctic ice winter.)  We have been having gorgeous sun and heat, which doesn’t happen here.  It has been hard to pray for rain.  We all know we need it, but none of us really enjoy the gray, wet, winter days that go on and on and on forever……….like 6 month’s worth.

Today I am also taking down the Christmas tree.  Yes, I said that today on January 29th.  You didn’t read it wrong and yes, I realize what day it is.  It is the day after Sport’s 18th birthday.  His request was that the tree stay up until his birthday.  I tried to take it down yesterday, but got called out by my sweetheart, who said, “At least wait until his birthday is over, Carin.”

The rain kind of mirrors my mood.  My political science husband just had to listen to the State of the Union address last night, and wanted my company.  I really cannot stand to listen to the man who is currently serving as our president.  Every time he speaks, this is what I hear, “Lies, lies, lies, and more lies.”  I know, I know, some of you are thinking that it must be because I am a conservative Republican.  But the truth be told, I hate political parties.  I think they are evil.  I choose not to align myself with either party because I cannot completely embrace everything either party says.  So I choose to stay away from them all.

I think that is probably why I struggle with politics in general.  I like things to be honest, upfront.  I don’t pretend and I don’t ‘play’ political games, even in my ordinary everyday life.  It is hard for me to believe that others have ulterior motives because I really care about people and I really want them to be happy and I am not willing to lie, steal or cheat to get ahead.  Being ahead isn’t important to me.  Being happy is important to me, and having others be happy and healthy is what matters and when I help other to be happy, I make the world a better place.

I find a lot of problems, personally, come from lies, especially lies to ourselves about our behaviors, thoughts, or intents.  I spend a lot of time evaluating my motives behind my behavior and actions and then adjusting them so they are more in line with the principles of the gospel.  It takes a lot of work.  Most often, I find that honesty with myself is what will truly bring my soul back into harmony with my beliefs.  When my beliefs, actions and words are all in harmony with each other, then is when I have peace and feel whole.

I also spend a lot of time listening to friends and helping them to bring their actions, thoughts, and words back into harmony with their beliefs.  The adversary would want us to change our beliefs to justify our behaviors.  But that is backward and will not bring peace or happiness.  Happiness comes when we change our behaviors or adjust our beliefs so they are in line with gospel truths.  Because the truth be told, sometimes, we believe the wrong things.

That is why God gives us prophets.  We can look to the prophets and live, in peace and harmony.  If we read something from the prophets that we do not believe, instead of throwing it away, we can just put it on the shelf.  It can be something we take down and look at every so often as we take time to ponder and come to a knowledge that what they have said is true.  You should try it sometime.

Truth can be known, like taste, touch, smell, sight.  It is a feeling deep within our soul.  For me, when I hear truth and am feeling it, I want to cry, my heart feels warm, and full.  This feeling is what we members of the Church call the Holy Ghost or the Spirit.  It doesn’t feel like that for everyone.  But it is a spiritual sense and you can learn how it feels and how it works for you.  It is the gift Heavenly Father has given to us so we can know truth when we hear it.  Every person born into the world has it……..it is called the Light of Christ.  Some people refer to it as your conscience, that innate knowledge of right and wrong.  After we are baptized, we receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost, which is the right to have the Spirit with you all the time, pending our worthiness.

Once you learn to recognize it, then you can measure the things you hear and see against the words of the prophets and that feeling inside.  Between those two points, you can draw the straight line and know the truth.  I love knowing that.  There are so many winds of opinion blowing and so many sources crying out for our attention and patronage, that it makes it so very challenging to know who to listen to and what is right.  But knowing the prophets speak for God and always have and then knowing how the Light of Christ, conscience, Gift of the Holy Ghost or the Spirit all work, we can know truth and bring our beliefs and actions into harmony with that truth and feel peace, knowing our lives our in line.

Back to our President.  He may believe the stuff he is spouting to our country.  He may honestly feel like he is doing what is best for our country and our people, which is why he is pushing his agenda so hard and so fast with so little appreciation for our governmental processes.  But internally, I do not believe his agenda is what is good or right for our country.

So there, now you have heard my political ranting.  And I have to go because my visiting teachers are on their way over and instead of picking up my house, taking down my tree, and showering, I’ve spent the morning blogging.  But you’ll just have to decided for yourself if what I have said it true, or not.  Because you CAN know, if you are willing to put in the time, honestly evaluate your feelings, and measure your behaviors and thoughts against the words of the prophets. 🙂

I cannot believe our fourth child is now 18 years old!  I know it keeps happening and they just keep growing, but what all of that means is I am getting old!

Sport has some fabulous stories!

When we first moved here, Sport wasn’t quite three.  A few months later, he had figured out the differences between boys and girls.  The 1st Counselor in the Bishopric had invited us over for dinner.  They still had 2 teenaged daughters at home.  We were all sitting around their table, getting ready to say the blessing for the dinner, when Sport piped up.  He went around the entire table, “Penis, no penis, penis, penis, penis, no penis, no penis, penis, penis….”etc.  It was so embarrassing.  Drew and I and the other parents were all trying, without much success, to stifle our laughter.  The girls were mortified, and of course, our boys, who were all of 8, 6& 1/2, 4&  1/2, 3, and brand new, thought it was just hilarious.  To this day, we still laugh about that dinner appointment.

Sport has always had a very unique and specific taste in attire.  My personal favorite outfit was this one:

In my mind, it is always combined with this one:

His favorite shirt was the batman one.  We could hardly ever get him out of it.  And his favorite shorts were the ones he is wearing in the photo.  That old photo doesn’t really do justice to the colors, but his shirt is black and purple, his shorts turquoise and pink, then the boots just kill me.  He loved to have his blanket tied around his neck like a cape and pretend he was a super hero.  That poor blanket.  My mother made it.  It was patch work on the top and had flannel Porky Pigs on the back.  The flannel shredded and had to be replaced.  I looked everywhere for the Porky Pig material but could not find it.  Sport would not let me replace it with anything until I convinced him that one of the materials I had was the pattern of dinosaur footprints.  That was the only one good enough for his blanket.  He loved dinosaurs!

That boy could tell you the name of every dinosaur, at three.  Once, on vacation at Grandma’s house, he drew a giant T-rex, in chalk on the driveway, eating our family members and then showed them going through the digestive tract all the way to the end.  It was so funny to watch him explain his drawing to his Grandfather, who got such a kick out of his ability to understand what happens to things when we eat them and to understand that if the T-rex ate us, that is what would happen.  To this day we still have his giant tub of plastic dinos.

He was my pickiest person, until we had Spike.  Sport never would take a bottle, ever.  I had to pray every night that I would make enough milk for that baby.  I have tried with other babies and it has never worked.  They have been willing to take a bottle and I didn’t ever produce enough milk for them.

Today he is still extremely particular.  His clothes have to fit just right.  His art tools have to be just right.  His art has to be just right.  And he will only eat certain things.

For all of his peculiarity, he is an amazing young man.  He loves his Father in Heaven.  He knows the truth.  He lives the truth.  He loves the truth.  He is kind, but still needs to learn to become nurturing.  He loves to play the piano and composes things regularly.  And his timing is always spot on, which makes his music that much better.

I, personally, LOVE his music tastes.  Sport comes home with the most amazing music and it fills my soul.  He has been a huge blessing in our lives, and mine in particular.  When I was so overwhelmed with the stresses of young motherhood and found out I was pregnant, yet again, with three little boys who were 4, 2 & 1/2, and under 1…..I prayed and prayed, and told my Father in Heaven if He was serious about sending this baby, I could not handle another baby who had health problems, like the first two, or severe allergies like all three of them did.  I wanted a baby who made me laugh, who slept, and lightened the load I was feeling.  He sent me Sport, who was definitely an answer to that prayer.  He has kept me laughing ever since.  His one-liners are amazing and hilarious!

Happy Birthday Sport!  We love you!