My Emotional Journey (Part 3)
I promised some spiritual insights after reading about my emotional roller-coaster (here,and,here). So this is what I have observed (I am sure there is more, there is always more….but this is what I have so far):
- I received information that led me to believe we would be following a certain course of action (we were moving).
- If I did not believe this was the case, I would never have emotionally invested myself in the process.
- Being emotionally invested is what actually allowed me to explore the emotions I was stuffing. They would have never come to the surface if I didn’t ever believe we were actually moving, mostly because I would just have kept myself busy with the normal things of daily life.
- Although it appears I received conflicting information (we were moving when we actually didn’t), it really is an evidence of the Lord’s love for me. It was never about moving or not moving. It was about my emotional growth and development, my growth as a person or my spiritual development. The Lord knows me well enough that He knew I wasn’t expressing or paying attention to my feelings in a certain area. He knew that wasn’t healthy for me and He knew why I was doing it. He allowed me an opportunity to explore my feelings in the only way I would really do it. Then He put those circumstances in place.
- He knew me well enough to know that if I knew why I was pursuing a certain course and I had an option between my choice and the Lord’s choice, I would chose His direction instead of following my own desire. (That is generally my nature……..my favorite scripture is 1st Nephi 3:7—I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know the Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them. Link here. Obedience is a key factor and deserves a post all on its own.)
Think of your own children. When you know a child is struggling in a particular area, don’t you go out of your way to help them learn to master that area–or at least learn the next concept along that path? I will give you a personal example.
One of my little ones struggles with honesty. Last fast Sunday (Once a month, we practice the law of the fast, where we go without food and water for 24 hours and use the money we would have spent on those meals and donate it through fast offerings to the church to be used to help those with less. In our home, we start fasting for one meal from 8-11, then two meals 12-18 and help them work up to a full fast.), I was getting ready for church, and he called to me while I was doing my hair in the bathroom.
“Mom, can the baby have a chip?”
“Yea…..sure” [Wait a minute, why does he have chips? I told him it is fast Sunday] “Are you eating chips? It’s fast Sunday”
Now he appears in the doorway, chips in hand. Picture a guilty look across his face. “Well, I haven’t actually eaten any chips yet.”
“Then why do you have them? If you have chosen not to fast for breakfast, then you will need to fast for lunch.”
“Since I haven’t actually eaten any, I can still fast for breakfast.”
“You haven’t eaten ANY???” [knowing this child, I found that hard to believe, but was willing]
“Then why do you have crumbs all over your shirt? What are those from? And why do you keep doing that thing with your eyes?” [My husband was not happy that I was giving away how I knew this son’s honesty was in question.]
“Well, actually, I forgot it was fast Sunday and I did eat crackers and an orange, but I haven’t had any chips.”
Oh, there it is. “Well, sweetie, you can eat chips if you like, but you will need to fast for lunch.”
Knowing that honesty and fasting is an issue for this little soul, I would do him no favors if I let him get away with his plan. It helps him grow to have to do something that is difficult for him, but not beyond his ability. As his parent, and one interested in his growth and development, I put circumstances in place to help him learn that honesty is important and he still has responsibilities and things that I want him to learn.
Our Father in Heaven is a better parent than I am. He is more concerned about my growth and development and yours. He puts circumstances in place to help us learn things that may be difficult for us but not beyond our ability. He loves us.
I loved this talk from Elder Scott about finding joy and happiness.
Can you think of a time in your life where things have not turned out as you hoped, but you learned something significant from the process??