My babies do not like to have feet in their pajamas.  I keep thinking each kid will like the pj’s with feet.  We buy new ones (or used ones at the thrift shop).  I make them wear them with the feet for a week or so until the baby just absolutely refuses to put them on.  Then I remember that they don’t like the feet.  I finally give in and cut them out.  Then my babies will wear their jammies without complaint.  I think it is just because my boys (in particular) have really big, sweaty feet, even as babies.  I wish I would just accept that and as soon as I bring the pj’s home, just cut the feet out and save a week of complaining!  Some day this mother will learn.

THIS is what I found:

A sling shot.  Yes, one of my boys tore the underwear waistband off of his underwear and made a sling shot out of it.  Where do they come up with these things??  It is actually held to the band with little nails.  Don’t you just love the ingenuity??  I’m sorry, your mother will not purchase a slingshot for you because, well, you’re a boy and we all know what will happen with that.  So you’ll make one of your own out of your underwear!  You must be a boy scout!

Speedy’s epic fruit master piece:

Yesterday after church, Spike, Spike and I were hanging out eating a bag of popcorn.  It was just me and him.  It was so cute to watch him stuff four to five pieces into his tiny little mouth, to kick back onto the couch and just enjoy hanging out with me.  I could picture him as a teen doing the exact same thing, only I probably could not share the couch with him because he would take up the entire thing.  But I just love those moments when you can see into their personality and imagine them a few years older and see in your mind, their development.  I JUST LOVE BEING A MOTHER!

And then there is this beauty:

Her missionary papers are almost in, probably this week!  We are so glad to have her home for a few months before her service!  We love you!!

I saw the most hilarious video this morning!

Watch and Enjoy!

Sooooo sweet!

Since Saturday evening, I have been really sick—-fever, congestion, sore throat, tired, just plain yuck!  Sunday morning I decided I was too sick to attend church services.  We decided it would be wisest for the baby to stay home with me, since my husband has to be on the stand at the front of the congregation (because he is currently serving as the Bishop of the ward) and that left the children on the bench by themselves.

The family had been gone about an hour.  I had just finished reading Cocoa’s post about accepting the nomination as Young Mother of the Year in Nevada and some of the other great women who will be honored at the national convention.  The baby had been watching Winnie the Pooh (TV and computer are in the same room).  I decided I had enough energy to fold a load of laundry.  The baby helped me get it out of the dryer.  I sat down in the TV room and started folding.  I noticed that the baby got quiet, but just figured he had found something interesting in one of the bedrooms.

When I was just about finished folding the laundry (10 minutes max), I thought, “I had really better find out what that baby is up to.”  I went down the hallway to see if he was in the bedrooms or if, heaven forbid, someone had left one of the bathroom doors open and he was in the toilet.  He wasn’t in the bedrooms, or the bathrooms.  By this time I am calling his name and starting to stress a little.  I noticed the front door wasn’t shut all the way and thought, “Oh no, I hope he didn’t go out the front door.”  As I approached, I could see some strange man outside on the sidewalk holding my baby and a police officer. 

I threw the door open and said, “Yes! That’s my baby!”  The nice man brought the baby to me, as the officer was explaining that the baby was just about to cross the street.  I said to the baby, “Where have you been?” relief in my voice.  The man repeated my words and then said this to me, “I wouldn’t let my little dogs get out in a situation like that lady!” giving me a stern look over the top of his sunglasses.  He thanked the officer and then got into his truck and drove away.

The officer, of course, wanted to know my last name, then my first name, then to tell me how much peril the baby had been in and that I may want to consider changing the door knobs on my front door so the baby can’t do that again.  I brought the baby in the house, chained the front door, sat down and cried for about 1/2 an hour.  It was only then that I thought, “Gee, it’s a really good thing your dogs can’t open the front door!”

Anyway, I do not think I will be winning any awards for motherhood any time soon.  Plus, since I am still feeling nasty, I think I’ll get myself to the doctor today.  Thanks for listening.

photo credit: thegilmours.wordpress.com

I am a family history buff.  I don’t know what it is, maybe it is the Spirit of Elijah.  Well, not maybe, it definitely is.  From the time I was little, I have really enjoyed looking for and finding my ancestors.  I love knowing how the families connect and finding out about their lives, where they come from and what my heritage is.

I go through spurts of family history.  When we were first married and still students at BYU, I spent a lot of time at their family history library, looking up censuses, viewing microfilm, and making photocopies.  It took a.lot.of.time.  This was the day before computers were readily accessible, and to tell the truth, before I really knew how to use them.

Today we are so very blessed by this technology.  It is amazing!  Yesterday I did in two hours, what would probably have taken me several weeks of work 20 years ago.  Family history can seem overwhelming because there is so much to be done and we often wonder where to start.  I want to share a few thoughts that have kindled my recent Spirit of Elijah and hopefully will ignite yours, if not already aglow, as well.

One:  Do family history work 15 minutes at a time.  I picked up this tip from a dear sister who works in our family history library.  I didn’t believe it was possible at first.  But she suggested that we set the timer and only work 15 minutes at a time.  I had been putting off doing more family history work because I did not feel I had the time available that I did in our early marriage.  However, I decided to give her method a try.  I committed to 15 minutes three times a week.  I am amazed at what I have been able to accomplish in the last two weeks.  Really amazing stuff!  Maybe I will put the stats in this post, later.

In the last three weeks I have been working 15 minutes here and there, we have prepared 24 names for baptism, 7 couples to be sealed, and many families to be sealed together.  I have the names in a file, in the familysearch family tree (mentioned below) just waiting to be printed the next time we attend the temple.  My children can perform those baptisms for their ancestors!

Two:  Start with the first 100 years.  Don’t think you have to go back to Noah, just make sure you have the information for you, your children, your parents, and your grandparents, if possible.  Put in aunts, uncles, cousins.  Update what you know without any effort.  You will be amazed at what is already out there and in the computer.  Just try it!

Three:  Start by going here (New Family Search) and type in your lds.org username and password.  I like using the new program FamilySearch Family Tree.  It is the program that is replacing New Family Search, so I just decided to get used to it.  Plus, it has some really neat features!

When you have some information put into that program, it will automatically link you in with other patrons whose lines connect with yours.  There may be a lot more there than you have any idea!!  Then, you can go to THIS WEBSITE and create the coolest family history tree EVER!

Several days ago, I woke up one morning with a particular ancestor’s name running through my brain.  Over, and over, and over again.  The next day, I looked her up in FamilySearch Family Tree.  Her ordinances were done. Her husband’s ordinances were done.  Her children’s ordinances were done.  But her parents were not listed.  Her line stopped right there.  I noticed that my aunt had put her information into the program, so I sent her an email asking about this ancestor and any information she had.  She had been looking for our ancestor, but hadn’t found anything.  I decided to go to our family history library yesterday and look for her.  The library has access to programs I do not have on my home computer, like ancestry.com.  I looked for her.  And found her immediately!  Then, through being able to look at some other patron’s family trees, found her parents, and through census records found her siblings!!  It was AWESOME!!!

While I was working on family history a few days ago, a friend of mine was over at the house.  She is getting ready to serve a mission.  I showed her what I was doing and how easy it was to prepare names for the temple.  She got excited and said that another member had showed her where the obituary for her grandfather was in our family history library (he was the coroner, so he knows obituaries!).  I called her from the family history library and asked her if she wanted to come with me.  She did!  I went and picked her up.  In the hour and a half that she was there, she added her parent’s information, her grandparent’s information, and aunts and uncles all from the obituary and then she found a couple of other people.  I am telling you—just do it!!  You will be amazed at how easy it is and how much fun, plus the feelings and promptings you will get as you begin.

Our ancestors have been waiting for decades and centuries to have their work done.  They were promised that if they came to earth at a time when temples were not available, their posterity would seek out their information and make sure their covenants were available.  It is our time.  We have the technology.  We have the information available.  We have the temples close (ours is four hours away, but closer than any of my ancestors had a temple, or the gospel!).

What are you waiting for????
Log in now!  Go, go, go!!!

photo credit:  delparsons studio

 
He then goes on to share his own story of when his sixth child, an 8 month old son, passed away from aspirating a piece of chalk.  His story is deep, personal, and sweet.  He shares his ‘natural man’ responses to that tragedy and expresses how the Atonement of Christ helped him through that period in his life and even how it helps him today in putting that experience into perspective.  His words are so moving that I hope you will go and read them for yourself.

I have thought of these words often this week, as I have pondered about some of the tragedies that happen in the world in which we live.  Two families in particular have been on my mind, this family suffering tragedy from the storm, Sandy , and this family, suffering tragedy from a long term nanny.  As a mother, I have thought about both of these women and the insurmountable suffering they must be trying to manage and overcome.  My heart hurts for them, though I do not know either of them or any of their circumstances other than those reported in these stories.

I wonder if the words of Elder Bowen and Moroni would provide the same ‘Balm of Gilead’ it did for Elder Bowen.  Would this information bring them peace?  Do they know it already?  Like Elder Bowen, just because we know the information, does not mean that we automatically get to skip past the pain and the emotional and sometimes literally, physical process of healing.  Life is so different in theory than it actually is in application.

The older I get, the more I learn that it is indeed the application of the doctrines of the gospel we have been sent here to learn.  How difficult and soul stretching it is to put them into practice!!  It seems that the Lord has a unique way, a specifically designed and tailored, individual path for each of us as we learn to put into practice those principles which are most difficult for each of us.  He does require us to, or gives us opportunity to, make our weaknesses become strengths, if we will succumb to the required curriculum and allow the doctrines to penetrate our hearts.

I, personally, am not very fond of His teaching methods, but I can testify to their effectiveness.  I do not like feeling pain, or sorrow, remorse, or any of the negative feelings.  For a long time, I thought I could avoid them by just not feeling, or as I like to say, by blocking my feelings.  I have learned that by doing so, I cut off my ability to feel all of the feelings.  I could choose to be happy, but I did not feel a deep sense of joy.  Since I have had to learn how to allow myself to feel and not let those negative feelings incapacitate me, I have actually had some days where I am deeply, deeply happy.  I can feel my heart singing……….  and I have to remind myself that I cannot have the good without the bad.  Jacob, in the Book of Mormon
teaches us that very thing:

     For it must needs be, that there is an ^aopposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

Our little daughter turns 12 next month.  She wants to have her ears pierced.  Earlier this week, she had learned to put her hair up with knitting needles.  There she was sitting at the table, hoop earrings hanging around the tops of her ears (in anticipation of how they would look when they were pierced), her hair wrapped around one knitting needle, talking, talking, talking to me.  As I watched her, I saw it.  There she was, my young woman Sun, and I thought, ‘Oh, this is going to be so fun!  We are friends!  I really love her!’

Speedy turned 14 last week.  He had to shave all of the fuzz off of his chin because he was beginning to look a little wooly.  He is concerned because he still doesn’t think he knows how to dance and he wants it to be right.  It doesn’t matter that we have given him a few instructions on slow dancing and explained that fast dancing is just moving your body to the rhythm.  His comment was, “It is so very strange to think that I can do things today that I couldn’t do yesterday” (like go to dances).  He will figure it out.

I love teenagers!!  They really are my very favorite!  I love how their thinking expands and they begin to discuss adult topics.  They have opinions.  They have experiences.  They are beginning to experience real life as individuals.  Many of their friends are having those experiences too and they are hard.  Really strong emotions are attached to their experiences and they are primed for greater and greater things.

After teaching our children the basics of the gospel, articles of faith, the scripture stories during their childhood, our teenagers are ready to discuss serious doctrinal principles and their applications.  We discuss real life situations and people and how the principles they have learned apply.  We can’t know everything, and we try not to be judgmental of people or make assumptions about their lives.  Anything that is public is fair-game, especially if we are discussing things in the news.  My husband is a political science guy so he is always in the news and aware of current happenings, especially political ones.  So we discuss policies, upcoming legislation, who is saying what and how those ideas/policies will affect us and others and compare those things with doctrinal principles and Heavenly Father’s laws and scriptural stories that coincide.  We have some very serious discussions.

People are really amazed at the depth our children can discuss something.  Sometimes people have accused us of writing our children’s talks for sacrament meeting.  We don’t do that…..ever!  It would rob them of the opportunity to express themselves and put together the doctrine for themselves.  We do discuss their topic and what the principle is, scripture stories that might illustrate that principle, or ask them if they have another story that might illustrate it.  Then we teach them this simple principle for giving a talk:

1.  Teach the doctrine you have been given–principles, scriptures, prophet quotes, that you can find to back up the doctrine.
2.  Share a story or two that illustrates that principle.  It can be from the scriptures, real life, personal, you name it.
3.  Testify of the principle you have taught.

That’s it.  Then we send them to go to work.  If they are preparing a primary talk, we teach them to do the same things, only on a smaller scale.  If they need help coming up with a story, I may remind them of a scripture story, or ask them to go and read the story, or remind them of something in their own life.  Then I ask them to tell me how they felt or the consequences/blessings they observed from their experience.

Elder Neil L. Andersen, in his conference talk, Tell Me the Stories of Jesus, shared these words:

I shared this quote last week sharing my testimony in sacrament meeting.  I am sorry to say that since I did it from memory, I did it wrong, but the general message was correct (at least I can remember the meaning of what was said :-).  But this is so true.  Our children, the rising generation, do come with a ‘premortal fire of faith’!  It is already there.  We just have to fan the flames.

They are feisty spirits.  They are determined, head strong, full of boundless energy and they can argue, well, I might add.  Our job is to turn those characteristics into qualities that can and will be used in the service of the Lord, to remind them of who they are and who they are to become.

I would continue, but this post wasn’t suppose to be about teaching our children morals and doctrine.  That is the topic I will be writing to on Cocoa’s blog in April.  I guess you’ll just have to wait for the rest of it.  But if you want to know what the prophets are saying, check out this video:

Bringing up children in light and truth

I couldn’t figure out how to embed it in the post 🙂

photo credit: bloggingpainters.com

Augh!  Sickness!  We have had about two weeks of sickness which ran through the entire family.  The baby has finally kicked it.  He actually probably had two to three different things that have lasted for about six weeks.  But in the process of all of his illness, I think he has finally cut his last eye tooth as well.  We also moved him into a ‘big boy’ bed, which he has been sooooo excited about.  We are still having to lay down with him in the bed so he will go to sleep and not get up and play, but today he actually took his first nap in the bed and I didn’t have to stick him back into the crib for nap time.  His little feelings have been so wounded when I have finally had enough and put him into the crib–broke his little heart.  But he is obviously getting the idea!  Hooray!!!!

nap time in the big boy bed

Drew and I were both down at the same time with the illness.  Luckily for me, my sweetheart felt so bad that he didn’t want me cooking either, so he rearranged our budget so I could buy cereal for breakfast and several dinners that didn’t require much preparation.  I have felt so SPOILED!  We must have definitely changed our life style if I feel pampered by cold cereal and prepared meals!  (Those were just part of our normal life early on…)  What has been really funny is that although the little kids have been in hog-heaven because of the menu, the baby won’t eat it.  He just looked at his cold cereal, moved the spoon around a little, put his fingers in it, let it get soggy and then wanted out.  He asked for eggs, and crackers.  So funny.

I was well enough to pull off our Visiting Teaching Conference/RS birthday brunch…thanks for asking 🙂  For part of the program, our Relief Society President wanted us to participate in ‘mock’ visiting teaching.  I visited Michaels (Arts and Crafts store), found some stickers, handed them out randomly as participants came through the door, then told them they would ‘need this later’.  At the appointed time, I turned the group loose to find the two other people who had their exact sticker.  Viola!  Random groups of three.  Then we spent 20 minutes in our random groups visiting.  I think this was the favorite part of our morning.  When it was time to get everyone’s attention, they were so busy visiting, I had to tap on the microphone for two solid minutes before the conversations died down.  (One sister even turned around and said, ‘You told us to visit. Stop interrupting us!’  Luckily, she is one of my best friends 🙂  See??? Visiting teaching isn’t hard, even when we don’t know each other.  We just have to stick ourselves out there and do it!  We are all women.  We have things in common.  We have hearts to serve!  Now we just need to serve those the Lord has given us stewardship over.  Not hard—Be Brave!

Then, this morning, for my scripture study, I read THIS, amazing talk by Elder Holland.  I really, really appreciated Elder Holland’s personal interpretation of the conversation between Peter and the Savior.  I could really sense where Peter was (not that I really know, but Elder Holland’s interpretation made the conversation more real to me and more personally applicable), in his doctrinal development and understanding of the experiences they had just been through.  I think we all go through that to a degree….we go through the motions of what we think the gospel is asking of us.  We really are making effort and making changes.  Then something happens and we kind of fall off of the wagon.  We stop continuing the change we were making, because it is hard, or it doesn’t make sense, or it should be finished by now, we have done it long enough and we cannot see a difference, or whatever.  Then I feel the hand of the Lord calling after me, Carin….Do you love me? 

(Elder Holland’s words….) “did not my life and my love touch your hearts more deeply than this?…….Then Peter, [Carin]why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, [Carin] are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, [Carin] for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally …..”

Then I couple those thoughts with my visiting teaching conference.  When our sisters were visiting (we combined the two wards that meet in our building for this activity), we shared our hearts, our struggles, our trials, our joys, our hopes.  We have each other.  Each of us knew there were a few sister in that room that we could call on if we had trouble…….any trouble.  Most of the sisters we (or at least, I) visit, do not have that because they are not currently actively participating in the ward family.  They still have struggles, trials, hopes, joys, but they don’t have, or they don’t know they have the same support system that the rest of us do.  They need to know someone is out there who will help, who will lift them when they are down and support them when they struggle.  The gospel is a gospel of inclusion, not exclusion.  We say, come, you will find help, support and friends here.  We will love you.  Join our circle of sisters.  Be a part of us, regardless of your bad habits, tattered clothes, broken hearts…..come, join, share, love.  We will include you.  And the Lord asks us to do it, to reach out, even if today our sisters are not interested.  They may be tomorrow.  We must be about our Father’s business.  Feed the Savior’s sheep is our mandate too. 

Photo credit: Del Parson’s studio Delparson.com

photo credit: wifemomandmore.wordpress.com

I have been reading some of the posts over on Real Intent during their Peculiar Minds series, about mental illness.  As a Family Science major/Psychology minor, the study of mental illness and the LDS perspective has always fascinated me.  As a youth, I spent three days with the Psychologist of our local county lock-up observing the mental health unit of the prison.  I found it amazing and I still do.  I want to know what makes people tick……   Maybe you would consider me a social engineer??  Why do they make the decisions they do?

From an early age, I was blessed to understand that each and everyone of us live in our own reality.  Sure we have common ground where we must learn to live and work together and thus we develop rules for how to interact and accomplish objectives.  But what I believe about how the world and the people therein function, ‘the rules’, is uniquely my own.

Now, I do not believe in moral relativism (each person’s morality is unique and celebrated and is therefore real and valid—thus there is no right or wrong—all are right….).  I believe in right and wrong, good and bad, truth and error.  I believe in God.  I believe in truth.  I believe He is in charge and He has rules/laws, eternal ones that do not change.  He governs the universe.  But I also believe each and everyone of us is at a different place in our knowledge of that truth and our ability to apply that knowledge to our lives and our relationships with others—–thus each in our own reality.

I believe some of us are more capable than others of being flexible in our reality and allowing new information to shape our existing paradigm.  Some of us are completely inflexible in our reality and we fight anything that messes up the way we see things.  Some are more willing to grow than others.  I believe that applies at different times in our lives too.  Sometimes I am up for and excited about a challenge that provides growth and other times I dread it.  Then there are all of those ‘mortality issues’ that get in the way—–or perhaps facilitate our growth in the Lords’ desired direction—-things like physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual disabilities.  We ALL have some form of disability that makes life challenging for us.  That’s the bad news.

The good news is that as children of God, heirs with Christ, we also ALL have the ability to become like God–a perfected man or woman, in every way.  Once I have learned what I need to from experiencing my given disability, it will eventually be removed and I will be whole and so will each of us.  Although we would all like those things to happen sooner rather than later, each of us must wait on the Lord’s time table, not ours.  For most of us, that will mean the resurrection, not mortality.

So let’s put all of this knowledge in a specific place and apply it as parents.

Each of our children lives in their own reality, with their own disabilities, unique gifts, and eventual recoveries.

The Lord gave those things to them and to us and organized us into groups—families—to learn and grow from each other.

He gave us the gospel of Jesus Christ, the scriptures, and the prophets to build the framework of our realities within and to guide us in our relationships with one another—–to help us eventually reach a true and shared reality with others.

Along the road, we need love, friends, support, encouragement, patience, kindness, strength, and charity.  (We always need more of these things, not less.)

In the world we live in, there is a plethora of information and people’s opinions telling us how we should be functioning (coaches, scouting leaders, teachers, doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, piano teachers, etc…).  Everyone will have an opinion and usually feel very free to share it with us!

Our job as parents is to quiet the voices and listen to the one that matters—the Truth—given to us by God and revealed through the Holy Ghost.  As parents, we are entitled to receive revelation for our children and ourselves as we build the framework of our reality and try to bring our behaviors and attitudes in line with truth.

We may contract with these professionals or volunteers to help us, give us knowledge, and their opinion, but the ultimate responsibility for the choices we implement is ours.  Let’s face it, no one will fight for the welfare of their child like a mother and father bound together in unity and love.  In our day and age, it is a fight!  And the right answer will be different for each child, for they are unique with their own perspectives, disabilities, and gifts.

I am so grateful the Lord speaks to each man, in his own language, according to his own understanding.  As parents, we need to try and do that with each of our children.  Sometimes when I am having particular difficulty communicating or teaching a specific idea or principle, be it toilet training or algebra, swimming, faith, or punctuality, I pray to know how best to help this child learn this principle.  I am not a miracle worker.  I do not know everything.  But I know who does.  I know how to access that information.  I know how to listen and I know how to obey.  In THAT process, I DO work miracles…………..and so will you.

Most of us would agree that consistency is very comforting.  We like knowing we have a job, how much money is coming in, what the weather is going to be like, if a natural disaster is around the corner, etc…  Knowing what is coming, helps us plan for the future and helps us feel like we have some control over our lives and we feel safer because we know or think we know what is coming.  When we have enough consistency, we are more emotionally capable of handling the exceptions to our consistency, or unexpected changes that come and even to manage changes that we expected.

Think about it, when you have a new baby coming, or are anticipating a move, or a change in employment, health care, living situations, or guests, you plan.  We do the best we can to anticipate what will be needed and to provide or procure those things before they are necessary so we have what is needed while we manage the change.  The more we prepare, the more secure we feel and the easier we manage things we did not anticipate.

Now let’s apply this thought to little people.  Little people do not have the intellectual development to anticipate and plan for several years.  We, as their parents, do what we can to provide for their needs.  Sometimes we know them, other times, we are just guessing and trying to figure it out.  It has been so much easier with my little Spike, Spike now that he can say, “Uh huh!” if he means yes, and “uhhhhhhh” with turning away his head when he means no.  Just this week he will actually say “Mo.” sometimes.  Life is so much easier when they can communicate just some basic!  Even my teenagers, sometimes have difficulty expressing their feelings and what they need/want.

Back to the consistency idea…..
When we provide an environment for our little people that is consistent, they develop feelings of security and a knowledge that their needs will be met in a timely manner.  They learn trust.  They learn safety, security, peace.  A consistent schedule is very soothing to little people.  Bedtime is a biggie.  Here are some helpful ideas for your little ones:

• Have a consistent bedtime routine.  Do the same thing every night.  At our house, we read scriptures as a family, have family prayer, put on our pajamas, brush our teeth, say our personal prayers and go to bed.  
• Do it at the same time every night.  We usually start talking about bedtime about 1/2 an hour before we are ready to put people in bed.  “Go get your scriptures, finish up your evening jobs, we are gathering in the family room, we’re going to read and pray now, etc…”  Then we start the routine.  I usually put the little ones in pajamas before we read and pray so they know it is time for bed.  We read and pray at the same time every night, regardless who is home.  Sometimes Drew may be at a meeting, or the big kids might not be home yet, but for the little ones, it is the same time every night.  We read and pray again with the big ones when they get home.  For little people, consistency makes bedtime less of a conflict and more of a comfort.
• Also, if we happen to be out somewhere and we are not going to be home at bedtime, I consider three options.  (1) I might get a baby sitter for the little ones so they can be home and in their bed when their bodies are tired.  (2) I may leave the event early so the little ones can be home in time for bed.  (3) I bring their jammies with them and about 8 p.m. put them into their jam jams so they know it is bedtime and their body is telling them the truth.  I want them to learn to listen to their body.  That may seem like a silly concept, but in our world of fix-it-with-a-pill mentality, I want my little children to learn early that if their body is tired, they need to rest, if they are hungry they need to eat, if they are full they need to stop eating, etc…  Our bodies will tell us a lot about how to manage life, if we will listen to some of the things it needs.

Routines are also significant for getting ready for school, after-school chores/homework, getting ready for church on Sunday, attending Sunday meetings, Family Home Evening, lunch and nap time….etc…  I am not suggesting that our lives have to be rigidly scheduled and certainly there needs to be flexibility and adaptation.  But the more consistent life is for little people, the less stress they will experience and the less stress we will experience. They will not be acting out because they are confused or irritated as the consistency allows them to know what follows and that their needs will be met.

We have been consistent enough with bedtime that even when Drew and I are not home, the big ones will put the little ones in their pajamas, read and pray with them and put them in bed by 8, almost always.  Now if I can just learn to apply this concept to our housework…..things would go smoother around here 🙂

When my little ones are really acting out, I ask myself a few questions:

• Are they hungry?
• Are they tired?
• Are they teething?
• Are they uncomfortable in some way….wet, dirty, have a splinter in their foot, having an allergic reaction, etc..
• What need might they have that is unmet?  Sometimes that is listening to them, asking them to show me what they want, a need for comfort, they might even have hurt feelings (yes, little ones really do this….)
• Are they sick?

Most children are not obnoxious just because.  They are real people and they have all of the needs the rest of us do.  We just need to listen to them and help them learn to communicate their desires.

#1 Stitches at our house too.  (Monday)
On Monday, during family home evening, my little baby was experimenting with circles and making himself dizzy.  It was fun to watch, until he got a little too woozy by the fireplace and fell close enough to hit his head.  I ran over and scooped him up to cuddle his little hurt self.  I pulled him away to make sure he was breathing and saw the gash in his head that had not yet started to bleed.  I immediately put my hand over it and started applying pressure and told one of the bigger kids to get me a towel.  They brought me one and I started using that to apply pressure as we discussed how bad it was and if it needed stitches. 

The last time I took one of the children to the ER for stitches after hours, we were there for FIVE hours and then they didn’t even put stitches in because the wound had begun to scab over.  I was so mad and not about to do that with this little 18 month old who doesn’t tolerate pain.  After a bit of discussion, we decided to call a family friend (retired doctor).  They said, bring him over, we have everything we need here at the house.  So we went.  He was doctored on the kitchen table by two people in bathrobes! Half an hour and two stitches later we were on the way home to put the baby to bed. 

Thank goodness for good friends who love us!  We will return in a week to have them removed.

For a head wound, it didn’t bleed that much.  I was surprised.  Maybe it was because I applied pressure so quickly, or maybe it was just where he hit it.  I don’t know.  I was grateful there wasn’t more blood.  So far he has been willing to leave the band-aid on his head.

#2 Super-sensitive Smiley (Friday)
For the last few days, my little Smiley has really struggled with finishing up his responsibilities.  Yesterday I decided to call him on it.  He got home from school and I didn’t let him play or watch TV until he had done his morning chores (three days undone), caught his homework up (two days undone plus yesterday’s), and did his afternoon job.  He was not a happy camper, complained that no one loved him or cared about him and he does EVERYTHING!  Well…….we had a little talk about responsibilities and taking care of them when we know what they are even if we are not asked to do them directly.

This morning, on the way to school, I asked if he had finished his morning jobs.  He reported that he was going to do them this afternoon.  To which I replied, yes you are, but you will be going to bed early tonight.  Tears and big sighs.  Seriously?! 

Did you know what your jobs were this morning? (Yes)
Did we have a talk yesterday about doing them every day when you know what they are? (Yes)
Have we discussed the consequences for not doing your jobs? (Yes)
Then you should probably have the consequences for not fulfilling your responsibilities, right? (Oh!)
More tears as we are pulling into the school.

(I always get yelled at!)
Oh boy!  Smiley, I am not yelling.  I am not mad.  Look at my face, am I angry??  (No.)
Right, this is not yelling.   We are having a discussion.  And you are having consequences for your choices.

I think he was happy to just get out of the car 🙂

photo credit: 123rf.com

#3 Valentine’s Day (Thursday)
I have a great husband!  He took me out to dinner last night.  We had a great conversation about many, many things and then we hung out together and ate cake, came home and watched a show with our bigger boys.  I crashed on the couch and went to bed early because I have had a killer headache for the last three days.  Stinky thing!

I also have great kids!  Yesterday, I took Drew and Sport to different dentists at different times and then had to drive them to their various places.  I also went grocery shopping for the week.  Because my time was occupied so much of the day, I didn’t get into the shower until 4 p.m. to get ready for my hot date with my sweetheart.  As I am in the bathroom doing hair and make-up, I hear Speedy complaining that basketball practice has already started and he is missing it.  Ooops!  I forgot.  So I poke my head out, explain that my hot date starts in 20 minutes and I won’t be available for picking up from practice and ask if Speedy would be willing to skip it.  He agrees.  Thanks buddy!  Yea for great kids!

photo credit: magluto.com

#4 A Spaghetti story (Tuesday)
Background:  I made my menu and grocery shopping list last week (Thursday).  Did the grocery shopping and was careful to stay within my budget.  Realized on Saturday, that I had forgotten to purchase tomato sauce and had planned spaghetti for later in the week.  Wondered how I was going to manage that without any tomato sauce.  Didn’t worry about it and figured that I would probably change the menu and deal with it later.

I have a dear friend who has been taking the missionary lessons.  We meet periodically to hang out and have dinner, sometimes with a lesson, sometimes without, sometimes dinner, sometimes without.  Anyway, we were planning on having a discussion this week.  When we were talking about when and what that looked like, it became clear to us that it would work better for both families if we included dinner this time.  When she asked what she could bring, I knew the answer!!!!  Tomato sauce!  She also brought a nice salad.

So nice that Heavenly Father fixed my tomato sauce issue with my dear friend!  If you are reading….THANK YOU!!  Love you!

#5 Wednesday
Suffice it to say Wednesday was nutso!  We are a very busy family on Wednesdays.  We usually go swimming, have mutual, scouts, activity days, bishopric meeting, and a basketball practice.  This week, no swimming, but I added in an impromptu visiting teaching appointment.  I called to set an appointment with a sister that I haven’t been able to get in contact with for four months.  She answered the phone and I said when can I come and see you?  Right now.  Really??  Sure!  So off I went.

It really was fine.  She wasn’t trying to be obstinate or difficult, it was just really best for her right now and the kids were kind of managing themselves.

Isn’t visiting teaching crazy??  I love it and know it is an inspired program.  I have some great stories and some not so great stories.  To me, it is like the other gospel principles, I waffle in my ability to do it well all of the time.  Some days I get a ton out of it, other times, I feel like it is a chore.  I have a testimony of the program and most of the time I love the people.  Once in a while I have an assignment that I find extremely difficult.  I am currently planning our Visiting Teaching Conference.  Food, decorations, child-care, set-up, clean-up are all taken care of.  The program is still coming together.  If you have any fabulous ideas you’d like to share…….pass them on.

Have a great week!
Check out Heather’s five here!