Well, that is my least favorite topic. I have learned that I really do not like change. I like things to stay comfortable. I love knowing what to expect and how to plan my emotions accordingly….silly, huh?
We have a lot of changes on the horizon. Not necessarily bad ones, just different ones, taking my life in a direction I didn’t necessarily want to go. Nothing life changing. We are not moving. Drew isn’t changing jobs. Even expected changes, though, aren’t welcome.
Our principal is retiring this year. He has been amazing. I have loved having our children at his school. His staff is happy. The other children are happy. He is a master at nurturing people and giving praise and solving problems. I’m sure our new principal will also be wonderful. I know her. And I really, really like her. I just don’t want to let go of our current one. Of course, her move, means we will have a new, unnamed principal at Joshua’s school.
Our seminary teacher was released on Sunday. She is amazing! The teenagers absolutely love her. The adults absolutely love her. She is exciting and exuberant about the gospel and the lives of her students. She isn’t even my teacher and I am sad for her to go…..even though that is the way of the gospel. We all have callings and don’t always know when we will be released from them or who will take over after our turn is up.
I am not going to Girls’ Camp this year. That is a lot of sadness. The hardest part of the entire process is that I was called, cleared by my doctor, and given my favorite responsibility at Girls’ Camp this year. But my body has been telling me that attending camp this pregnant is not a good idea and the Spirit confirmed that thought. But I just really, really want to go….like I want to every year.
We are homeschooling Daniel in the fall. That brings a whole dimension of newness. I have never home schooled any of the children. Will I be able to manage the curriculum? Will we be disciplined enough to work on school at the times we need to without letting life get too in the way? How am I supposed to do that with a new baby? Will Daniel be OK missing out on the social environment he is beginning to thrive in? What about his music? A lot of unanswered questions. I know it is the right decision. I just really wonder if I am up to the task…?
Other changes….Tammy is attending UVU!!! Hooray for her…..sad for me. I am totally happy for her and so very grateful she is there to learn and grow. And I miss her a ton. She was over here a lot before she left. But we still communicate and I’m sure we always will. We just have that kind of a relationship. Our stake presidency is changing at the end of June. We are having a new baby in August and Johnathan is leaving for his mission in August. Johnathan’s departure and the baby’s arrival are supposed to happen on the same day. We will see how those things go. But just more changes…..
And of course, with pregnancy and age, my body is changing every day and it is nothing like I have experienced with the other pregnancies. I cannot do as much, at all. Not just because I am pregnant, but because of my age. It takes me two hours to grocery shop now when it used to take one. I am not doing any of the dishes. Even my cooking and laundry have been scaled down. The kids are learning to pick up the slack, but some things are just being left undone. (I am very, very grateful I spent so much time teaching Joshua to read before I got pregnant……I have hardly worked with him since then. But he is fine and his reading is better than anyone else at the end of kindergarten.)
So…….I guess for everything there is a time and a season. But it is so very frustrating not being capable of what I have done in the past. I guess this is the part of growing old that I probably will not face so well.
I suppose at some point I will embrace the change and recognize and see that all of those things were for the better and contributed to my growth and development…..But today, just for today (well–according to this blog post not only for today but for the rest of tomorrows 🙂 I would really like things to just stay the same.