Changes……

Well, that is my least favorite topic.  I have learned that I really do not like change.  I like things to stay comfortable.  I love knowing what to expect and how to plan my emotions accordingly….silly, huh?

We have a lot of changes on the horizon.  Not necessarily bad ones, just different ones, taking my life in a direction I didn’t necessarily want to go.  Nothing life changing.  We are not moving.  Drew isn’t changing jobs.  Even expected changes, though, aren’t welcome.

Our principal is retiring this year.  He has been amazing.  I have loved having our children at his school.  His staff is happy.  The other children are happy.  He is a master at nurturing people and giving praise and solving problems.  I’m sure our new principal will also be wonderful.  I know her.  And I really, really like her.  I just don’t want to let go of our current one.  Of course, her move, means we will have a new, unnamed principal at Joshua’s school.

Our seminary teacher was released on Sunday.  She is amazing!  The teenagers absolutely love her.  The adults absolutely love her.  She is exciting and exuberant about the gospel and the lives of her students.  She isn’t even my teacher and I am sad for her to go…..even though that is the way of the gospel.  We all have callings and don’t always know when we will be released from them or who will take over after our turn is up.

I am not going to Girls’ Camp this year.  That is a lot of sadness.  The hardest part of the entire process is that I was called, cleared by my doctor, and given my favorite responsibility at Girls’ Camp this year.  But my body has been telling me that attending camp this pregnant is not a good idea and the Spirit confirmed that thought.  But I just really, really want to go….like I want to every year.

We are homeschooling Daniel in the fall.  That brings a whole dimension of newness.  I have never home schooled any of the children.  Will I be able to manage the curriculum?  Will we be disciplined enough to work on school at the times we need to without letting life get too in the way?  How am I supposed to do that with a new baby?  Will Daniel be OK missing out on the social environment he is beginning to thrive in?  What about his music?  A lot of unanswered questions.  I know it is the right decision.  I just really wonder if I am up to the task…?

Other changes….Tammy is attending UVU!!!  Hooray for her…..sad for me.  I am totally happy for her and so very grateful she is there to learn and grow.  And I miss her a ton.  She was over here a lot before she left.  But we still communicate and I’m sure we always will.  We just have that kind of a relationship.  Our stake presidency is changing at the end of June.  We are having a new baby in August and Johnathan is leaving for his mission in August.  Johnathan’s departure and the baby’s arrival are supposed to happen on the same day.  We will see how those things go.  But just more changes…..

And of course, with pregnancy and age, my body is changing every day and it is nothing like I have experienced with the other pregnancies.  I cannot do as much, at all.  Not just because I am pregnant, but because of my age.  It takes me two hours to grocery shop now when it used to take one.  I am not doing any of the dishes.  Even my cooking and laundry have been scaled down.  The kids are learning to pick up the slack, but some things are just being left undone. (I am very, very grateful I spent so much time teaching Joshua to read before I got pregnant……I have hardly worked with him since then.  But he is fine and his reading is better than anyone else at the end of kindergarten.)

So…….I guess for everything there is a time and a season.  But it is so very frustrating not being capable of  what I have done in the past.  I guess this is the part of growing old that I probably will not face so well.

I suppose at some point I will embrace the change and recognize and see that all of those things were for the better and contributed to my growth and development…..But today, just for today (well–according to this blog post not only for today but for the rest of tomorrows 🙂 I would really like things to just stay the same.

5 Comments on “Changes……

  1. You silly girl, yes these ARE life changing changes! Some of them change the day to day routines that are a part of your and your family's life now, and some of them will change your life, and your family forever. And though change is a necessary part of life…for the record, I don't like it either! :}But I DO like the background….when did you change it?

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  2. I bet that felt good to get that all off your chest… it kind of reminded me of me when I would come over to your house and vent everything, feel like a million bucks, get in my car and think… did I even ask how she was doing??? I have all the faith in you my dear!! These changes will stretch you further than you thought you could stretch… literally too, right?… 😉 And by the way, the change about you not being able to do the things you want… that IS why you have your kids… its their turn to take over! So kick off those shoes, grab some bon bons and watch a show with your hubby! Maybe you should do a hobby that doesn't require you to move much… quilting!!! Cuz I know you have all this spare time! 🙂 love you oodles!

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  3. Hi Carin! With our move to New Zealand, and all that has been involved in getting settled and learning our new missionary responsibilities, I have been MIA in the bloggosphere! I can't remember if I told you and Drew CONGRATULATIONS on the new addition, and yes, as age slowly begins taking its toll, it is hard to accept not being able to do what once came so easy. It's hard when the body won't keep up with the tasks at hand. Also CONGRATULATIONS to Johnathan on his mission call. Our Tyler went to Jacksonville Florida. Give our love to everyone and keep in touch! Love, Aunt Karen

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  4. This post makes me a little sad. Sister Craig out of seminary, stake presidency changing, Cutten having a new principle (I assume that is what you meant). So many changes I am not there for- my life has changed dramatically for the good but I still miss you and your family growing up. You are not only an amazing mom but you are an amazing woman of faith. Thank you for posting!-Britt

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  5. Change. I love change, I love getting older, but I hate not knowing what the future holds. I hope I can be there for you. I hate not being there for Diana. But so it is.

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