Last Saturday, we held our couples conference. We had three classes: finances, communications, and intimacy. I got to teach the communications class. I LOVE teaching about marriage and family! I LOVE the fact that our church focuses on how to have a happy family and if we will follow their teachings our families can be a place of love, safety, and security for all of us. This particular conference focused on Marriage.
I began with an important premise…………we choose our feelings. You heard me right. Feelings are a choice. I told my class ahead of time that they may have difficulty with this truth, but HERE are the words of a prophet to back me up. I included a copy of his talk in all the folders we handed out to our participants. We are agents. Others cannot make us feel a certain way. Then I used this example:
If you overheard someone you really didn’t know saying something unkind about you………most of us would probably blow it off. If however, we overheard someone close to us, a best friend, or spouse, or family member, say the same thing, it would be devastating. Why? Why the difference in reaction? The information is the same. It is because of the meaning we have attached to the relationship. When someone close to us says something unkind, true or not, it is a revelation to us that the relationship does not have the same meaning that we had attached to it. Our feelings are hurt because it isn’t what we expected or believed it to be. (Even if our perception is wrong……which is why communication is so significant……….we are often wrong even though we will usually think we are right. So we have to communicate to see if what we think is happening, really is, or if it is different………even more important in significant relationships, like marriage.)
Then I gave them all a copy of The Family: A Proclamation To The World. This is your primary guiding document on how to have a happy family. Follow these principles and be blessed. We focused in on this line from the proclamation:
Happiness in family life is most likely to be
achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord
Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established
and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance,
forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and
wholesome recreational activities.
And gave them this recipe:
And this one:
HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love
and care for each other and for their children. “Children
are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3).
Then we spoke about how to show our love to our spouses by learning their Primary Love Language. (Find yours by clicking the link above. Then take the quiz for men or women respectively.) We can be telling our spouse we love them all the time, but if we are not speaking THEIR love language, they may be completely missing our efforts to communicate that to them. So it is important that we learn to speak the other person’s language in matters of the heart.
We discussed the idea that we are our spouse’s primary nurturer. It is our responsibility, our solemn responsibility the prophets say, to love and care for each other and our children. It is not something we can choose to ignore, or just live with. We have an obligation to help and lift each other. And because we are endowed with agency, we can choose to love our spouse, even if we do not feel that way today. We can repent and change and rekindle the fire we once had through service and following the principles laid out in the Family Proclamation.
That was basically the class, with a lot of discussion and interaction. We had a good time, with dinner afterward. Most families were home just after 7, even those of us who cleaned up were home by 8. I am so very grateful for the wonderful help we received!
SUN’S First Public Solo
My sweet daughter preformed her first solo this week! She did an amazing job at her school’s talent show in front of all of her peers! Tonight is the performance for the parents. Hopefully the video will upload. Here she is:
She missed a note and started to forget a few words…..but every time I watch her, I start to cry. I think it is because I think singing a solo is such a brave thing to do and I think her voice is beautiful!! I am so very proud of her! I cannot wait to see what she will be able to do with just a little training!! Wooohooo!!
Check out my Tree:
Sport, the artist, said, “Mom, that’s not realistic…..” Then we both laughed. It is for Primary (children ages 3-11). It doesn’t need to be ‘realistic’!
I am the Primary chorister. We will pick leaves off of the tree for choosing songs, or different ways to sing a song, whatever.
Last week, I made this poster:
Do you know what song it is for??? Maybe the visual aids will give you a clue:
|Sorry about the camera flash glare!
I opened up Heather’s blog today to THIS POST.
I have to say, that I LOVED most of the photos too. It is a photo book about women in the scriptures………..so very beautiful!
You have to go and see the photos!!! The photographer is April Craig. I wish I could post my favorite photo…..I loved the one of Rachael, wife of Jacob, and I really like the ones Heather chose. So go and check them out!
My little man is cutting his molars. He has not been very fun, especially in the middle of the night when I cannot figure out what it is he wants! Ugh! And he is the SLOWEST teeth cutter I have ever had. I am not quite sure why it takes him so long, but it seems like they are taking about a month from the time I notice they are coming and beginning to bother him until they finally erupt through the gums. Maybe he is just a horrible teether and especially sensitive to pain. Maybe I am just astutely aware of them because he is the ninth baby. Whatever! We are both struggling with the process. Hang in there little angel. Not too many more to go for now!
|photos courtesy of Speedy
Have a GREAT and SPOOKY week!!