High School Update

Well, Sun did some politicking and wrote a letter expressing her desire to be reconsidered for acceptance to our high school.  She sent the letter three weeks ago.

Friday, they called to say they had reconsidered and they would accept her.

I wasn’t happy.  I had finally reconciled myself to the fact that we were doing something different and I was moving on with Plan B.  I struggled most of the day.

Sun and her siblings and her father, I might add, were all ecstatic!  I fought my sadness the rest of the day.

Yesterday, we met with their representative to discuss a few concerns.  Sunday Sun decided that she really did want to attend that high school.

I have accepted her decision.  She is comfortable that things happened for a specific reason and have helped her define who she is and how she needs to go about decision making.  I am glad that she has some concrete reasons for how things happened.  I am glad that she is seeing growth and development in herself.  I am glad she is happy.

As for me, I will have to adjust my attitude, as usual.

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

Have a great day!

Maybe Moving Day 3, 4, & 5

Well, day three and four were so crazy with normal life that I didn’t get hardly anything ‘moving-wise’ done.  I think the only thing I actually accomplished was cleaning the rest of the blind in the laundry room.  On those two days, I had three visiting teaching appointments, back to school night, a meeting with a teacher, a primary visit that fell through, dinner guests that fell through (so grateful for both of those cancellations!)…anyway, you get the idea.  I was busy.

Day 5 was a little different.  We had the moving guy come out and give us a quote for packing up our house.  Actually, we asked for two quotes, one with them doing the packing and one with us doing the packing.  Wanna take a guess as to the price??

I’ll give you a minute to figure it out.

Done yet?

I made a hazard guess and so did my husband and my son.  The frustrating thing was that we all chose the same number at different points in time and we all thought it was totally ridiculous!!  But it was accurate, which was totally scary.  OK here are the numbers:

Ya!  Over $10,000.00, for them to do the packing and only just over $7,500 for us to do it.  And you know that would be low because you know they do not have an accurate weight of all of that stuff!  Drew said we could hire a few guys from the YSA branch and pay them $500.00 a piece and probably do it cheaper.  So totally nutso!!  I am still just a little envious of those who can afford to do that or have their company do it for them.  Whatever.  That has never been, and I guess will never be, our lot.

But we also had some break-through in that because the moving guy was coming and I home school Sun, I didn’t want to freak her out.  So I prayed about it and had the thought that I should just tell her why he was here.  Just before he arrived, I pulled her aside and told her that her father had applied for another job far away, that we were considering moving, but a lot of things had to happen before it was something that would happen.  I also asked her not to talk to anyone else about it because I hadn’t told any of the other children.  But that I would probably tell Shorty soon, because I thought he would have the most difficult time with the process.

Slim was good enough to share with me some of the struggles he had when we made the move from Utah to California.  He told me that for him the move was too fast.  He didn’t have enough time to process what was happening before it happened and that is why he pretended to be sick the first week of school.  He needed more time.  All of that is emotionally valid and I have even thought that if we make this move, I may just home school everyone until Christmas so they have some time to adjust to a new house, new neighborhood, new ward, etc…  Moving is hard emotionally on people, even little people and we need to think about them too.

(I decided to put in some of the same photos from a post I published on the day I wrote this.  See if you can find it.)

So later that afternoon, while Smilely was at piano and before Speedy was home, Sun asked if I was going to tell Shorty.  I thought I should, so I did.  He didn’t take it so well.  He spent the evening talking with Slim and processing stuff.  I went to a RS activity.  By the time I was finished, Slim and Shorty were at the building with a list of Shorty’s concerns about the move and how it would affect him.  After the activity, we spent 1/2 an hour at the building, talking quietly about those things.  He was much better and seems to be happy today so we will see how things go from here.  I was clear with him too that the reason I didn’t want to say anything to him was because, at this point, we do not know if we are going.  So stressing and crying about it is wasted emotional energy.  I asked him if I shouldn’t have told him yet, or if he is glad for the time.  He said he would want to know and he was glad that I told him.  Sun and Shorty spent the rest of the evening playing ping-pong in the garage by themselves so they could talk about their feelings.

So much emotional drama.  Luckily we are going to process it one person at a time. 🙂

Maybe Moving…..Day 2

Well….None of you know this yet and I don’t know if I will ever publish it, but I felt the need to document the process of our possible move.

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

Last week, my sweetheart applied for a job down south by his parents.  It is a great opportunity!!  We have serious reservations about moving and how it will affect our lives and the lives of the children.  Slim knows our plans and has been involved almost from the beginning.  At this point, we have not told any of the other children.  Application were due a week ago and this week, we are awaiting the phone call requesting an interview for next week.

Because my husband and I have both had promptings that would seem to indicate we might actually be moving, we have begun the research process.  My sweetheart has priced homes and looked at crime statistics according to neighborhoods.  I have been researching schools and educational opportunities, including the school rating, etc..  We have called a few of the bishops in the area to ask some preliminary questions and just get some basic ideas about the area.  They have been so kind to tell us to stay out of certain areas because crime is awful!  But they have also told us places that are good to be looking.

Last week, I put together a preliminary list of things that need to happen at our house to prepare it to be sold, just touch up things mind you, nothing major, except that wall paper in Sun’s room….nasty, nasty wall paper that I started pulling off thinking I would have plenty of time to do it at my leisure….NOT!  The more I peel off, the more mold I find.  It is disgusting!

Anyway, today on my ‘master list’ for the house I cleaned half of the blind in the laundry room, washed the inside and outside of the laundry room window, and wiped out all of the cobwebs.  When we were laying the carpet, two weeks ago, I cleaned out under the washer and dryer and rearranged everything in that room.  Later today, I’ll wash off the washer and dryer and clean out the broom closet.  I may or may not finish the blind today.  We’ll see.  It will either be that or go and spend an hour getting wall paper off in Sun’s room.  OK… I spent an hour and a half in Sun’s room with the peeling and the clean-up.  Yuck!!  And Slim put out many, many things on our magic corner where things just disappear!  Today was an exercise bike, an elliptical machine, a vacuum, a stroller, a high chair, and an office chair, all gone in half an hour!  Sweet!!

Oh, as a side note, did I tell you that I put together tonight’s dinner at lunch and realized that I am going to have to make something completely different???  I don’t have enough for dinner and my kiddos won’t eat it anyway!!  I hate it when I have to change my plans!!  Ugh!  Maybe we’ll just have sandwiches tonight?….

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

Today is the first day of school.  If you want to see how fun it was, read my post from then, August 25th.  We’ll get more done tomorrow!

We had most of the kids home this year between May 2nd – May 7th, only a five day window.  We had a friend who does photography as a hobby come and take photos of us at the beach.  It was a super windy day and the sun came out just as we got there.  He took a ton of photos!!  The colors are great!  The wind, not so much.  We are going to have to do it one more time. 

Some of the individuals are really good and we will use some of those, but none of the family ones will work.  I thought you’d like to see them anyway.  So here are some of the funnier ones.

So you can see, we’re going to need to take some different ones 🙂  Besides, Slim wasn’t there.  We will try again in July when they are back for Richard’s wedding!!

I will update some of the individual photos if we find some that we like 🙂

Have a great weekend!

Maybe moving……Day 1

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

 About 3 weeks ago, (remember today, writing day, is August 26th, 2014) Drew’s boss passed on an announcement for a different in a different court.  When he brought it home, he was excited.  I was not so excited.  Remember in February of 2013, I thought we were moving also, because of a job which we had applied for and were waiting for the interview.  (Read here if you so desire, and here for the background and here for the rest of it.)  But it became apparent quickly, that the Lord had other plans for us.  So when Drew brought home this announcement, I thought, “Oh ya’, been there done that.  We are staying.  We always stay.”

 As I went to bed that evening, with that attitude, the Spirit gently walked my mind through some significant details in the life of our family.  As I pondered on those thoughts, I heard the words, “This is different than your last experience.  You need to be supportive of this and enthusiastic and helpful in the process.”  Alrighty…sure.  No problem.  I can do that.

For three weeks we have been pondering the ‘what if’ scenario.  Last week applications were due.  This week we are waiting for the interview scheduling phone call.  (You realize that if this doesn’t go anywhere I may not publish any of these posts, right?)  After the application was all turned in, because that is a process all unto itself, you know, I made myself a ‘Master List’ of all the things that would need to be done inside the house to prepare it for our leaving.  For some reason, yesterday, I felt the need to document, on my blog, the process.  Maybe it is so I will have some posts to publish while the actual move is occurring and I won’t have to stress about having stuff to post when my house is in chaos as we move down the state.  (I really don’t have any idea why this is necessary, but the Lord does, so I will go and do…..)

Know that we may not move.  We haven’t even interviewed yet.  But taking care of all of these things on our list won’t hurt us any and will help us if we actually do make the move.  So there is no reason we can’t just jump in and get started, making the actual moving time easier if we are really moving.  There you have it!

Here is the Master List:

Sun’s Room:  Remove the wall paper
                     Paint 3 walls
                     Clean the windows

Green Bathroom:  Spakle the hole Smilely put in it
                            Touch up the paint
                             Replace the towel and toilet paper holders the kids
                             removed
                            Erase the pencil Spike drew on the wall
                            Clean the window

Blue Bathroom:  Clean the ceiling over the shower
                          Touch up the paint over the shower and the toilet
                          Clean the window

Speedy’s Room:  Restain the window shutters
                           Clean the window

Hallway:  Replace doors for the closet

Living Room:  Touch up paint in all the place Spike has drawn on the walls
                       Spakle and repaint where we changed the lock
                       Glue down the baseboards
                       Patch the Gold curtain
                       Clean the windows (Inside and out)

Slim’s Room:  Clean the windows
                      Wash the sink and mirror (see if the water still works because we don’t use it)

Family Room:  Touch up paint (ceiling by the back door and over the stove)
                       Paint the baseboard where they took off the carpet
                       Goo Gone the hardwood flooring they put in
                       Clean the windows

Kitchen:  Replace the sink molding
              Clean out the cupboards
              Fix the drawers (3)
              Paint the microwave cubby (?)
              Clean out behind the refrigerator (Yuck!!)
              Replace the element in the oven
              Clean out the ovens
              Glue the stove top
              Clean the window

Laundry Room:  Clean out the broom closet
                          Clean the blinds
                          Clean the window

My Bathroom:  Unclog the sink
                        Clean the windows
                        Wipe down the shelves and cubboards

Hallway:  Clean the shutters
               Clean the window
               Clean out the cupboards in the sewing room

My bedroom:  Clean windows
                       Clean out closets

And I have a huge list of things to get rid of that won’t make the cut for the move.  Do you want that list?
It is just a bunch of junk, but maybe will help someone else.  Good thing I have my ‘magic corner’.  I don’t know what I am going to do when it is gone!

The get-rid-of list:
     All exercise equipment
     TV
     Stereo
    Folding table and chairs
    Dryer (extra one in the garage)
    Extra dishwasher
    Various other things, but those are the biggy items.
   Old lawn mower
   Most of the bicycles

Remember too that this is just the inside of my house.  It doesn’t include much of the garage or the backyard.

**Read the post written on May 19, 2015 entitled Changes to get the context of these posts!!

Changes

Today, at work, they are announcing that my husband is getting a new job.  It is really a promotion, as he will be working for the same court.  It is an interesting story as to how everything came about.

copyright: Karen Larsen photography

Last year, in September, we applied for another job at another court.  (And actually, we applied for a different job at a different court, the February a year before that.)  Our applications were not because we wanted to leave the area, but the jobs announcements fell into our lap and we felt prompted to follow the processes through.  The job in February Drew actually pulled out of the interview process because he felt that even if they offered him the job, we couldn’t really afford to take it with the cost of living and housing in that area.  Going through that process was huge for me, because it helped me to uncover some feelings that I didn’t realize I had.  They were stuffed way down there.  I really believe that if we had not participated in that recruiting process, those feelings never would have surfaced.

The job in September was slightly different.  I was told to ask Heavenly Father for the job, which confused me because I wasn’t really sure that I wanted it.  But I was obedient to the promptings.  Then, because I was told to ask for it and how important it would be for the growth and development of my spouse, I assumed it was the Lord’s will to give it to us.  Today He is giving it to us, just not in the court we applied to.  He is giving it to Drew here in the area where we already live and work.  When I thought we were moving, I began keeping a ‘secret’ blog that I planned to unveil when the move happened.  But since the move isn’t happening, but the job is, I felt it was time to unveil it anyway.

It has been an interesting process to recognize that even when we do what the Lord asks, things don’t necessarily (or usually in my life) turn out the way I anticipate or expect—the blessing comes, but it never looks like I think it will.  I thought you might enjoy reading my process.  Maybe it will help you as you sort through revelations and information you have been given.  My blog posts for this process are entitled ‘Maybe Moving’.  I will start posting them tomorrow and throughout the next couple of weeks.

If you want to know what days I actually wrote those blogs, you can match the photos in those blogs with the photos in another blog, and then you will know which days I wrote which blogs.  Does that make sense?  The photos in the blogs that I wrote on the same days will match.  I don’t think I did that with the first or second maybe moving posts, but I did do it with the rest.

I asked my husband how he is feeling about the announcement.  He said, well, there will be some people who are happy and excited, some who do not care, but several who will not be happy and will try to undermine him.  Won’t that be lovely?  I really hate politics–anywhere, but especially small town politics.  But really, regardless of what size of city we live in, we all have to deal with small town politics, because wherever we work, or go to school, or go to church, or sometimes even in our own families, we all have small groups where people aren’t always happy or kind when things go well for us.  That is so sad to me.  I wish we could all just be happy for the successes of those around us.  Another person’s blessings does not mean something negative about us.  I struggle with it too and I have to fight my own feelings when someone else receives a blessing I want.

I struggled for many, many years because we could never afford to purchase a home.  We still have not done so.  After watching all of my friends purchase their first homes, sell those and purchase their second ones, and then watch some of my young women get married and purchase their homes, while I still haven’t bought one has been super hard for me.  One of the only things I have ever wanted in life, was to own a home.  I finally had to decide that if that was not a blessing I was granted, it needed to be OK with me.  I think what finally did it was recognizing that I couldn’t take it with me anyway, so why did I care if I owned one in mortality?  And I had to just let it go, which I did.

copyright: Karen Larsen photography

Regardless of the responses of those around us, I am grateful for the gospel in my life.  I am grateful the Lord honors His promises, even when they don’t look the way I thought they would.  I can trust Him.  That is another huge lesson for me personally.  I have trouble trusting anyone, God included.  It takes a tremendous amount of faith and prayer to do what I know He wants especially when things don’t usually look the way I think they should.  But I have found that the way Heavenly Father does it, always matches what He told me, blesses me more than I could have imagined, and happens in the time that is best for my learning and growth and development.  Life and the growth that comes with it is so hard sometimes–even when the blessings are amazing!

Have a great day and enjoy reading the process!!

I do not even know what to title this blog post.  I wanted to share all of the exiting things that are happening here at our house, because some of them are exciting!!  My BYU boys are home for the summer (or a part of it)!  Scuff returned home from his mission to Brazil!!  And Tammy has left for Utah!  Those are the highlights.  But in the midst of all of those great things, life has been super challenging and overwhelming.  And I have been super busy without even enough time to sit down and just blog the highlights.

Not to depress you, but to help you understand that we have challenges too, I have decided to blog about the things that are currently stressing me out, and some of the major challenges we are facing.  I can’t share all of them, because, well, we are still going through them and they are not concluded, so to share too much too soon would be inadvisable.

However, since my birthday, Drew’s best friend, Darren passed away, which I blogged about a little.  That was the first major blow.

copyright: Karen Larsen photography

Then, about a week later, we found out that Sun was not admitted to the high school I have had all of our children at for the past 9 years.  That was a low blow.  You may be tempted to think it was because she just wasn’t up to the same academic standards, however that would be inaccurate.  The truth of the matter is that the principal of that school was looking for a way to keep her out.

Over the past two years, Speedy has been walking out of English class and refusing to read some of the vulgar and debasing ‘literature’ they have chose as their works of study.  It has not been a small issue.  They read literature that has debasing topics, graphic details, plenty of profanity, and then they watch the movies in class.  Speedy is more sensitive to those things than some of the other boys have been.  We, as their parents, have always given them praise and permission to stand up to exposure to anything they feel violates their standards, regardless of who is doing the exposing.

Last year the principal called me and told me that she also had ‘conservative values’ but wondered how I could justify Speedy leaving class and not participating.  After all, she contended, they were going to be exposed to these things in college.  Well, unfortunately for her, between the six of us who are older than Speedy, we hold eight college degrees, one in literature, and none of us have ever had a problem with the university literature courses.  The only place where we have a problem is in the high school English class.  Good grief!

There wasn’t much she could say to that.

copyright: Karen Larsen photography

The year before the principal was upset because Sport petitioned the school board to take more than the allowed number of college credit hours so he could graduate with his Associate’s Degree.  The board allowed him to do so.  You would think she would be happy that one of her students actually completed the purpose of the school in the four years allowed.  She wasn’t.  The next day she shot down Speedy’s petition to attend a higher level core support class that he missed admittance to by .001 grade points.  And the petition had been in for several weeks.  Seriously.

Sun’s interview for the program was suppose to last 10 minutes.  It lasted 2.  I assumed that was because their decision for admittance had already been made.  I was right about that, but wrong about the conclusion. The principal came into Sun’s interview only, and then that interview room was closed down.  The principal went into the interview looking for a reason to deny Sun admittance and when she had it, she didn’t need to continue.

I could go on and on.   But suffice it to say, plenty of people were admitted with academic abilities and scores below Sun’s.  There was room for her in their program.  The principal in her passive aggressive manner felt the need to flex her power muscle and send me a message:  Quit messing with her school.

For a while I was really angry–angry that she hurt my daughter, angry that Sun’s application and interview was never about Sun, angry that she was willing to hurt someone else to get back at me (which seems to be the story of my life….), and angry that she didn’t just have the guts to tell me how she feels about me and my ‘values’.

Then, my sweet husband and my calling as seminary teacher put everything into perspective for me.  Drew read Sun this scripture in Matthew 5:

 11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
 12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
copyright: Karen Larsen photography
He helped her to understand that what was happening to her wasn’t because she wasn’t as good as the other children or as capable.  What was happening to her was a direct result of Speedy’s willingness to stand up as an example.  The rest of the scripture that follows expresses what Speedy has been doing:
 
 13 ¶Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
 14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
 15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Unfortunately, whenever good men and women stand for truth and righteousness, those seeking power and authority will seek to pull them down, even if they are only 14 years old!!
My studies for seminary those weeks were about the persecutions the early saints received as they were expelled from Missouri and unjustly driven from the lands they purchased and homes they built because of the choices of a few who had been numbered among them.  Joseph’s instructions to them from Liberty Jail were also instructive to me.
D&C 123:
 12 For there are many yet on the earth among all sects, parties, and denominations, who are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive, and who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it—
 13 Therefore, that we should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the hidden things of darkness, wherein we know them; and they are truly manifest from heaven—
 14 These should then be attended to with great earnestness.
 15 Let no man count them as small things; for there is much which lieth in futurity, pertaining to the saints, which depends upon these things.
 16 You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves.
 17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.
I realized, God is my friend.  He knows my worries and my concerns, my strengths and my weaknesses, my efforts and faith.  He also knows my works and the thoughts and intents of my heart, and He knows those things about those who are my enemies.  I do not have to retaliate or seek retribution.  What more could I do to her than God will hold her accountable?  Do I think she can stop me or my children from achieving our goals?  Not if they are set in partnership with the Almighty.  What can she do to stop his work?
“The Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done” (History of the Church, 4:540).
And D&C 121:
 33 How long can rolling waters remain impure? What power shall stay the heavens? As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints.
I just realized that I can trust God to fight my battles for me.  I don’t even have to worry about them or be concerned if her wrong is ever righted.  God is my friend, my defender.  I will do what He asks, when He asks and how He asks.  Then I can stand back and know that those who stand against me are really standing against Him.  Let Him do what He will with them.  What is that to me?  It will be right.  It will be just.  And it won’t stand in my way or the way of my children.
That is where my emotions have been the last several weeks.  There is more going on than that.  But what I cannot say.  You’ll just have to stay tuned.  Have a great weekend!!  And hopefully I will find more time for writing and sharing the struggle of my soul.

If you have been teaching the youth over the last year, you have probably noticed that the teaching programs have been revamped.  Before, the lessons were given pretty much verbatim.  Now, the structure is to decide what to teach, prepare to teach, make connections, learn together, and invite to act.

Over the last few weeks, I have not only been teaching seminary, but I have also substituted in Relief Society and taught the youth Sunday school class twice.  After I have finished teaching, I thought “Darn it!! I did not leave them with a specific invitation to ACT!!”

copyright Karen Larsen photography

This really bothered me because what good is the knowledge of the gospel if we don’t ACT on the information.  Acting on the information, exercising our faith, applying those doctrines–that is where the real learning takes place and testimony becomes conversion.  Without the exercise of our faith–the acting–we leave out a necessary ingredient in the recipe of conversion.  We leave out the piece that allows the Holy Ghost to testify to the truth of our behavior and sink those doctrines deep into our hearts.

Luckily for me, the Spirit corrected me and reminded me of several places in the last few lessons where I did invite my students to act.  I invited them to bring questions to conference, to read their scriptures, to thank our Father in Heaven for the Prophet Joseph Smith and all of the doctrines restored through him, to search ‘homosexuality’ on LDS.ORG and read what the prophets have said on the matter, and many other things.  I just didn’t invite them to act at the end of the lesson.

Years ago, I taught a lesson in Relief Society on the temple.  Because of the dynamics of that ward, I expected to TEACH those sisters about the temple.  When I actually taught the lesson, they knew all the answers.  They had the information!  I was dumb-founded.  I knew from my experiences with them that they were not applying those doctrines.  My assumption in teaching them was that their lack of application was due to a lack of knowledge.  My assumption was completely incorrect!  I spent the next several weeks studying how we can know something and still not do it.  What is the motivating factor?

As I pondered more deeply on the subject, I realized that we all do that to one degree or another, in one area or another.  I know what  kind of a visiting or home teacher I should be, but do I do it?  I know I shouldn’t eat so much sugar and should eat more green things, but do I?  I know I should exercise to drop weight, but do I? As regularly as I should?  I know I shouldn’t get angry at…..fill in the blank, but do I choose to control my emotions?  So in all of these areas temporal, spiritual, emotional, financial, and more, I know information that I do not act on.

copyright Karen Larsen photography

The real question becomes how do we motivate ourselves and others to act on information that we know is good and do something with it?  This is a much longer conversation than this blog post, but a few doctrinal principles apply. 

To answer the first question, I realized the major motivating factor for bringing our behavior in line with the knowledge of the gospel, is our feelings about and understanding of the atonement.  This could be a post completely on its own.  In fact, it is encompassed in several books written by the prophets.  If you are feeling less than motivated to apply the doctrines in your life, study the atonement of Jesus Christ, His life and His teachings.  Enough said.  (Well, not really, but like I said, BOOKS about the subject.)

My personal favorite patter of conversion is laid out by Mormon in Moroni 8:25-26.

 25 And the first fruits of repentance is baptism; and baptism cometh by faith unto the fulfilling the commandments; and the fulfilling the commandments bringeth remission of sins;

 26 And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God.

I know I have used this scripture before, but I thought I laid the cycle out somewhere, however I cannot find it.  Ugh (as Spike would say)!  Guess I will save that blog for later.  Just recognize the pattern:  the first sign of repentance is a person’s willingness to be baptized, to act.  This presupposes that the person believes the information and understands why repentance is necessary.  As a person chooses to be obedient to the information and knowledge they receive, by exercising their faith unto repentance, they are granted a remission of their sins.  As their sins are remitted, their hearts soften which allows the Holy Ghost to enter.  What does the Holy Ghost bring?  Hope and perfect love (charity) and though not mentioned in this scripture, the Holy Ghost also brings revelation.  The love and hope that we feel from the Holy Ghost and the revelation that we receive, gives us new places and strength to exercise our faith by acting on the new information we receive (repenting again) and the entire cycle is kept in place by diligence unto prayer.  So start the process!!  Be obedient where you can, pray for faith, strength, courage, motivation and a change of heart where you are struggling.  Remember we are all struggling somewhere so be patient with yourself–but also make goals and strive for improvement where you are struggling.

copyright Karen Larsen photography

Here is my personal example.

I need to drop weight.  I make plans and effort to do so.  I recognize my feelings (about many different things) interfere in my ability and willingness to act.  I pray for strength and help to do so.  I have so much going on right now that my emotions have been a bit overwhelming (boys home from college, a boy coming home from a mission–tomorrow by the way!, the death of a dear friend, anniversary of another friend’s death, Tams leaving for Utah, drama at Drew’s work, end of the year school projects and graduation stuff, rearranging the house for people, conversations with extended family and their drama–just a lot of stuff going on in my life right now).  Because there is so much going on and has been, in my weight loss goals, I gave myself permission to just hang out at this weight for four weeks—no effort at loss, no beating myself up because of overeating, or eating the wrong things–just simple maintenance of where I am.  Patience with myself.  In a few weeks, when things settle down emotionally, I will re-evaluate and make different goals and continue my weight loss.  At this point, my prayers and faith are focusing on helping me to manage my emotions and learn different coping mechanisms than the ones which got me fat 🙂 all of which will eventually contribute to further weight loss.

Can you see how my willingness to try my faith (experiment upon the word) to repent (change) and be obedient (drop the weight), brings me forgiveness (of myself and others for past choices) which brings meekness and lowliness of heart, allowing the Holy Ghost to bring me revelation (which heals my heart and my body) and fills me with hope (to continue my weight loss journey and that I will eventually succeed) and love (for the Savior and my fellow man)?  And I keep that cycle going by diligence unto prayer, which strengthens my faith and motivation and tells me when to adjust my expectations?  Isn’t that awesome??

Elder David A. Bednar, in his book ‘Act in Doctrine,’ lays out the pattern to conversion using Helaman 15:7-8.

 And behold, ye do know of yourselves, for ye have witnessed it, that as many of them as are brought to the knowledge of the truth, and to know of the wicked and abominable traditions of their fathers, and are led to believe the holy scriptures, yea, the prophecies of the holy prophets, which are written, which leadeth them to faith on the Lord, and unto repentance, which faith and repentance bringeth a change of heart unto them—

 Therefore, as many as have come to this, ye know of yourselves are firm and steadfast in the faith, and in the thing wherewith they have been made free.

Elder Bednar then says:

“Please notice the specific steps identified in these verses: (1) belief in the teachings and prophecies of the holy prophets as recorded in the scriptures fosters (2) faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.  Faith in the Savior leads to (3) repentance.  Faith in Christ and repentance bring about (4) the mighty change of heart.  Therefore, as many as have diligently and faithfully followed these steps are (5) firm and steadfast in the faith.  This is the pathway of conversion unto the Lord.”

I LOVE this book!  It is laid out like a workbook with writing spaces for you to use and take personal notes as you contemplate how to apply the doctrine in your own life.

This post is getting super long!  And I have a ton to do!  Scuff arrives home from his mission tomorrow.  He should be about ready to board his plane in just a few hours and then fly all night to see us tomorrow afternoon!  Pray for a safe flight.  I will try to remember to post photos.  I have been so bad about that lately.  I am just so glad they are home that I do not even think about preserving the moment in film (that tells you how old I am 🙂

Just remember whenever you teach, invite your students to act!!  Have a great weekend!

As you read this, I am probably on my way to pick up the boys from the airport.  Their plane lands at 10 a.m and the airport is only 5 hours away from my house so we will be on the road all day!!!  But it will be fun to spend an uninterrupted day with my boys!  Yea!!  Hip, hip hooray!

We have been cranking out the work as we are preparing for their arrival.  We have had to move furniture, wash a ton of laundry and bedding, deep clean dusting, move wardrobes, etc…  (As I type this, I still have some of that work to do, but I knew if I didn’t sit down while I was thinking about it, it just wouldn’t happen.  That’s why you have that awesome little feature of ‘schedule your post’ right?!)

copyright: Karen Larsen photography (Me, this week!)

Here are some of the nutso things that have happened this week.  I don’t remember if I told you or not, but this year in seminary, the students have to pass an ‘elevated learning assessment’ each semester.  Typically, you would present all the material and the exam would be given at the end of the term.  I felt like we needed to take ours in March.  It was kind of weird, but they provide a study guide, so we just went over that one day and I taught the things the kids needed to know to pass the assessment.  We took it and they all passed.  So I wasn’t so sure what the big deal was.  Before I gave the exam, I started to question myself about it and thought about changing the timing, when the Spirit said, “What were YOU told to do?”  So I went ahead and followed my impressions and we took it in March.

About two weeks after we took the exam, one of my students had shoulder surgery on his right shoulder and hasn’t been able to write for the last three weeks.  Another of my students was hospitalized for more than a week and has missed a ton of class.  These two students are very reliable and valiant kids.  They do their work and they show up for class.  If we had waited to take the assessment, it would have been much more difficult for these two to pass because of things happening to them in normal life.  I am SOOOO glad I listened and did something outside of the norm and that we took it in March!  Crazy, huh?

The other strange thing that happened yesterday was that some lady’s car broke down right outside my house.  I saw her sitting in the car and trying to turn the engine over when I was leaving to pick up the kids from school (2:30 p.m).  I thought, “I should just see if she needs a phone.”  I offered and she was grateful because her phone was turned off.  She made a phone call.  They couldn’t help her.  She didn’t want to call anyone else.  I left to go and get the kids and told her that if she was still there I would help her when I got home.  She was still there when I got back.  I offered to let her use the phone again and come in and wait for the tow truck or whoever was coming to help her.  I didn’t have any jumper cables.  She was sure that was all she needed.  She knew Drew had ours in his car, so she just decided to sit there and wait for him to get home from work. (Sometime after 5).  I thought it was strange that she would just sit there and not make any effort to fix anything or get assistance from anyone.  After two hours of her sitting outside my house, I realized, “yep. She’s just going to wait for Drew.”  Lovely.  The last thing my husband will want to do is try to figure out how to help her after he gets home from work, when he didn’t take any lunch.  I decided to call one of my neighbors to see if he was available and could help her.  He was and he did (4:30 pm).  Her car did not start even after he tried to jump start it.  I didn’t think it would.  But true to my nice neighbor’s form, he offered her a ride and took her home.  She just left her car in front of my house and is suppose to try and fix/move it today. 

copyright: Karen Larsen photography

I took our neighbor fresh, homemade bread to say ‘Thank you!’

It just struck me so strangely that she needed help.  She needed to do something, even if it was to just get home, but she was content to just sit there and do nothing.  I wondered how often any of the rest of us have a need or a responsibility but because we don’t want to, or we don’t know how, or we don’t know what to do, we just sit there, wasting valuable time, dismissing offers of assistance.  I am going to be thinking about that for a few weeks deciding if I do that in any areas of my life.

The other crazy thing has been finding someone to manage my S day responsibilities for seminary.  Of course, as luck would have it, S day is the same day I have to drive 10 hours to go down and get the boys and get back.  I have been diligently looking for a sub for two weeks.  I asked about 7 people (couples) before I found one of them who could help out.  I ended up getting one sub for seminary that morning, another to manage S day and then a third to help out with S day (at the same time I am also subbing for our youth Sunday school teacher, I might add).  So life has been just a little bit crazy at our house.

Sometimes I look at my life and I think, how do people expect so much of me?  Then I look at what I do and I think, geesh, they just think I can manage all of it.  But I am human and I cannot!  And the truth be told, most of them don’t see all that I am doing so when they want someone to help them out they just think, “Oh I bet Carin could help me.”  I have to practice the art of saying ‘NO,’ which I don’t like to do.  But I have to.  It is hard for me.

Well, I am going to run.  There is a lot more crazy that I could share with you, but I had better go and start putting some of it away and organizing the rest of it 🙂  Have a great weekend!!

copyright: Karen Larsen photography

On tap for us:  temple trip for the youth, birthday party, baptism, pinewood derby painting, planning youth Sunday school lesson, enjoying big boys (maybe they will mow the lawn!!)

One of my very best friends is being laid to rest today in Utah.  I am in California.  My heart is sad not to be there to support my friend, his wife and his family.  My boys are there, for which I am eternally grateful.  If we can’t be there, at least our children can represent us.  I think the difficult part of today will be trying to manage the things I am suppose to be doing here while my heart and head are longing to be somewhere else.

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

I cried and cried on Monday and Tuesday, managed my emotions and my affairs on Wednesday and Thursday.  Cried some more last night and am pretty weepy today.  I have pictured my friend in his casket, laid out in his temple clothing, pictured their chapel filled to capacity with his family and ward members, and my boys.  In my mind, I have caressed his face, told him that I love him and that I will miss him, hugged his wife and family and prayed for my own peace and healing.

When we lived across the street from them, and before either of us had any children, (but I was pregnant), I would always fall asleep on their floor at 10 p.m. on the dot and sleep until my husband was ready to take me home.  D thought it was always funny to say, “Wake up, Carin.  It’s Christmas.”  It was anywhere from April through August.  It was never Christmas.  But that is always what he said when it was time to go home and I needed to wake up.  He knew that was my favorite holiday.

My scripture study has consisted in trying to read the rest of the Doctrine and Covenants from the first semester, since I wasn’t teaching then.  In many of the revelations I have been reading, I have come across scripture like these:

D&C 58:3-6

Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.

 For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.

 Remember this, which I tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and receive that which is to follow.

 Behold, verily I say unto you, for this cause I have sent you—that you might be obedient, and that your hearts might be prepared to bear testimony of the things which are to come;
D&C 59:2 and 23
 For those that live shall inherit the earth, and those that die shall rest from all their labors, and their works shall follow them; and they shall receive a crown in the mansions of my Father, which I have prepared for them.
 But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.
And D&C 63: 1-5
Hearken, O ye people, and open your hearts and give ear from afar; and listen, you that call yourselves the people of the Lord, and hear the word of the Lord and his will concerning you.
 Yea, verily, I say, hear the word of him whose anger is kindled against the wicked and rebellious;

 Who willeth to take even them whom he will take, and preserveth in life them whom he will preserve;

 Who buildeth up at his own will and pleasure; and destroyeth when he pleases, and is able to cast the soul down to hell.

 Behold, I, the Lord, utter my voice, and it shall be obeyed.
These scriptures were in my normal scripture reading this week.  This week while I am mourning the loss of my friend, my Father in Heaven is mindful of me and my sorrow.  Reminding me in section 58 that I cannot behold the plan of God, I do not know what He is orchestrating our lives or the lives of my friends.  But I can know that He is in charge, He has a plan, and He knows what He is doing.  I can have faith in that, put it into my heart and prepare to receive the blessings He has waiting for me.  Reminding me that my dear friend is alive.  He is resting from his labors and the pains of mortality.  He has performed the works of righteousness and will receive his reward in eternity.  And reminding me that He willeth to take them whom he will take, and preserveth in life them whom he will preserve.  God is in charge.  I need never doubt that.  He decides who is appointed unto death and who will be preserved unto life.  My dear friend lived and died great!  He is brave and strong and sweet and righteous and fought his mortal fight.  For all appearances, he came off conqueror against sin.  
copyright:  Karen Larsen photography
My heart may hurt and grieve today.  But I know in some future day, I will hold my friend again.  And his giant frame will engulf mine as he hugs me, and then he’ll say, “Wake up, Carin.  It’s Christmas!”