I decided it had been a while since I had down-loaded the photos off of my phone.  I remembered some, but also found some random ones the children obviously took.  I thought they were kind of funny.  So here they are to share.

cinewsletter.blogspot.com

Today I was made aware of the death of one of my children’s classmates.  One of our little fourth graders passed away on Monday from a long battle with cancer.  Our school is honoring him today.  I do not know the family personally, but as a parent who has had a sick child and tinkered at the edge of death, my heart goes out to them.  I pray that their hearts will be healed in time and they will be able to appreciate the beautiful life that was a part of theirs, even if just for a short time.

Take time today to love those near you.  We just really never know how long their time in mortality will last.  We assume they will be here tomorrow.  But we never really know.

npr.org

Have you ever had one of those Sundays where the cosmos seems to conspire against you?  Four days ago was like that for me.

As the 2nd Counselor in my ward’s primary organization, I didn’t have any specific responsibilities this month.  Because we were down two teachers, it was decided that I would substitute for one of our missing teachers.  Previously we had been surviving by combining two classes, but it was quickly becoming apparent that strategy was going to burn out our teacher.  I was going to be able to step in and relieve a little of the stress as we figured out what to do.

I had read my lesson once or twice, but because of our crazy week, I hadn’t really sat down and studied it.  No big deal—we have late church now, so I’d have Sunday morning to pull it together.

Saturday evening, our teacher called.  He was sick.  Looks like I would have the combo class.  Our teacher’s been doing this for two weeks.  I could do this for him.

Sunday morning one drama erupted into another and though most of us were dressed two hours before church, I still had not had time to pull the lesson together.  As I sat in the living room (not a good choice, I understand, but when only one parent is home and drama is running high, it is sometimes necessary) trying to read my lesson, I was continually interrupted by the ever increasing drama.

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My interruptions were interrupted by a phone call.  Our missionaries needed a ride for their investigators.  They had called several people but still didn’t have help.  Now, remember, I live within walking distance from the building, so it is like already being at church, then leaving to pick them up and going back to the building.  They had four people to pick up.  My car could only manage three.  So they were going to have to call someone else anyway.

I arrived at the building 45 minutes early to try and set up my classroom before church.  There were no chairs in the classroom.  Before I could hunt them down, I finished off a visual aid, threw a table cloth on the table and noticed that if I didn’t leave right away, I would be late for my meeting with the missionaries.  So I left.

When I got there, our people came out and the missionaries introduced us an mentioned that I would be taking only two of the investigators because they had someone else who also needed a ride.  (Thanks for asking……)   I managed to rearrange the carpool so the other car could pick up the remaining person (because remember during all of this, my children are getting themselves to church).

We arrived at church, got the investigators settled and I went off to find chairs for my classroom and two pictures from the library since I had printed my lesson off the net.  I managed to sit down with my family just as my husband stood up to conduct the meeting.

Sacrament meeting wasn’t too eventful except for the family who sat behind us.  Their mother was home sick and their father was one of the speakers.  During his talk, we had quite a bit of interaction between benches and had to rearrange seating a number of times.  Their three-year-old was struggling with their 12-year-old and I invited him to sit with me and he did.  That didn’t make my two-year-old very happy.  As one adult across three benches of children, I was grateful when their father finished speaking and resumed sitting with his family.

When it was time to head to Primary, I needed to find the investigators to direct them to where they needed to go and change my baby’s diaper before nursery.  Needless to say—-all the children beat me to class and were impatiently waiting when I arrived.  As a bonus, when I was walking into the classroom, the Primary President caught me, “I just wanted you to have a head’s up.  The chorister called this morning and she isn’t coming.  I need you to take care of singing time (20 minutes during the third hour).”

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“You’ve got to be kidding!” I thought.  I’m sure you could read those words on my face.  Luckily the pianist came to my aid, “Do you want me to pull something out of the closet?”

“Ya—-anything where the kids pick something.  We’ll figure out what they are singing later.”

The class went well until about half way through when one of my missing students showed up.  He did not want to be there, thought it was boring, and really just wanted attention from the girls—-so there was a lot of flirting and disruption.

I made it through class and jumped right into singing time.  The pianist had put together a tree with leaves.  Whenever a student picked one, I just said whatever song came to my head.  Yea for the pianist!!  She just went with it and it worked.

Then there was a part of sharing time I needed to help out with because some of the other people didn’t show up, so there was more improvising there, and of course, returning the investigators to their homes.

By the time I arrived home I was completely DONE managing children.  I went to my room, laid on my bed and just tried to cry.  My two-year-old destroyed a couple of things in my bedroom and I didn’t even care.  I think we didn’t even get dinner finished and on the table until 7 (we usually do that about 5:30).

When my husband arrived home and found my lying on our bed in the dark, he asked how my day was.  “Horrible!”

I related the entire story, to which my husband wisely replied, “Aren’t you so glad that you are capable of that?”  I was glad, even if I was exhausted.

And the truth be told, it wasn’t horrible.  Heavenly Father gave me a few gemstones for the ride.  During our singing time, the five-year-old investigator was trying so hard to sing the songs, she was bouncing.  Our primary teacher was singing in her ear.  She had never heard the song before but was so touched by what she felt that she couldn’t sit still.  I was so moved that in the middle of the chorus of Nephi’s Courage, I just started crying, but kept waving my arm.  I’d regain my composure, catch a glimpse of her in my peripheral vision and choke up again.  It probably didn’t help that Nephi’s Courage is one of my favorite songs.

Then on the way home, the 18-year-old investigator said she really appreciated them (the YW presidency) teaching her that “women are suppose to be emotional.  The [world and] people around me just say ‘stop being so emotional. But that is a part of who I am.” 

I could tell that was new information for her and it solidified something she knew internally but had zero validation for.

Was my effort and headache worth it?  If just for those two girls and what they leaned and felt that day—the Lord would say, “I’m sorry that was hard for you—but just look at what it did for them.  Don’t you think it was worth it?”

Each of us has a part to play.  Each of our roles will be difficult for us, because each of our paths is designed by our loving Father in Heaven who has our eternal growth and development in His agenda.  That growth is hard and usually painful, but it is worth it.  I’m glad this Sunday is stake conference!

dreamstime.com (This is how we felt).

Have you ever considered illness to be a blessing?  I usually don’t either.  But this week, illness has blessed our family.  Our schedule was crazy!

Monday:  Basketball practice (2), 5:50 -6:50 and 7-8:30.
Tuesday:  Basketball game 5-7; Board Meeting 7-8:30
Wednesday: Class 4:15-5:30; Basketball game 5-7; typical mutual stuff 6:45-8:30;
                           Priesthood Preview 6:30-7:30, Basketball practice 8-9.
Thursday:  Concert 5-8
Friday:  Family Home Evening.

Sickness in our family this week eliminated all the activities with a line through them.  It made our week of absolute craziness manageable.  It was a gift.

We are feeling a little better.  Most of us are well.  We have just two I think who didn’t get sick.  We’ll cross our fingers that they won’t.

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About a week or so ago, Chocolate on my Cranium (I tried to link to the actual post, but it isn’t working!) posted about being sick and how it all functions at her house.  At our house, it is kind of similar.  Sick people are pampered.  They sleep on the couch in their pajamas where they can watch TV and just chill or read a book.  They eat sick food, which consists of crackers, white bread, Sprite, and sometimes homemade chicken noodle soup (carried over from our poor college days where I just boiled some spaghetti noodles in chicken broth—this is now the preferred chicken noodle soup at our house.  If I actually put vegetables and chicken in it, most of the children will not eat it.  So strange!)

THIS one!

I took Sport to the scouting office yesterday to get his Eagle Scout paperwork finished off so he can turn it in since his 18th birthday is two weeks away.  Sport finished his project in December.  All of his merit badges were finished.  His dad has been on him about finishing up the paperwork but it was Christmas and his brothers were home and Grandma and Grandpa were here.  Paperwork can wait, right??

Well, not apparently for Sport.  Or at least he should have heeded that little voice, or the big booming one from his father.  But Sport has just a little stubborn streak that came back yesterday to bite him and bite him hard.

As we were printing off his awards that the scouting office has records of, the guy behind the desk says, rather nonchalantly, “And you know that as of January 1st, 2014 the cooking merit badge is now required, right?”

I thought he was kidding.  Seriously–the COOKING merit badge?? 

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He was not.  Then he started printing out the new requirements for the newly required merit badge.  Sport and I just looked at each other.   Knowing my son and how close he has been to exploding lately with the requirements of other people, I looked at him and said, “Take deep breaths, Sport.  In and out all the way down to your toes.”  It didn’t help that yesterday he also had to appear before the school board to appeal to their mercy and allow him to take 12 credit hours this semester as a concurrently enrolled student instead of the 11 unit cap.

When we got to the car, he exploded, just a little.  It was a stressful day.

I remember being where he is.  I was almost finished with my Young Womanhood Recognition award.  But I was also a Senior and I didn’t care about it or want to finish it.  My parents didn’t care and didn’t have any idea I was even working on it.  My adviser for Young Women was all over my case about finishing it.  She drove me crazy.  Batty.  I finally finished it just to get her off my back.  That was the only reason I finished it.

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Now, as an adult, if I saw her, I would run up and hug her and tell her how grateful I was that she pushed me.  I was not grateful at the time.  In fact, with my attitude, I was extremely annoyed.  But today I am so very grateful I finished it.  It means more to me as an adult than it ever did as a teenager.  Hopefully Sport will feel that way too……..in a few years.  Certainly not in the next two weeks as we push to get it all done and turned in.  Poor guy.  I feel so bad for him.

On the positive side of things, the board approved his credit hours.  Guess he really will graduate with his AA in the Spring.

The basketball season is in full swing here at our house.  We have two boys playing community ball and one playing school ball.  Four games a week, minimum.  This weekend Shorty had a fifth grade tournament.  It was very exciting.  His team actually won the tournament!  I have photos, but they are on my phone, so I don’t have them right now to post.

Because of the season, we are needing to move Family Home Evening to a different night during the week.  With one car, we are also having to make a lot of other adjustments.  I love basketball season!  The adjustments are kind of driving me crazy.  But we do have some other fun perks.

ourstate.com

At the tournament last weekend, one of the grandmas sat down by me on the front row.  We were watching the game before ours.  As one team was trying to use the clock to their advantage, they rolled the ball across the floor from the baseline toward their basket.  His teammate didn’t pick it up until it crossed the half court line.

Two families behind us were talking:
“Dad, why did he do that?” (roll the ball across the floor)
“Well, he was probably worried that he wouldn’t catch it, so he rolled it.”

I don’t remember what other reason was given, but the other family’s father said, “No actually it has to do with the clock.”

For those of you who do not know basketball, the clock doesn’t start until someone in bounds touches the ball.  So he rolled the ball across the floor to save time on the clock so they had more time to score.  But while the ball is rolling across the floor, the time they have to pass the ball in without turning it over is still ticking.  (They get five seconds.)  The team who rolled the ball wasn’t able to capitalize on their strategy.  In other words, they didn’t score any more points.

As the families in the crowd left the stands, the grandmother and I moved into their spots.  She said to me, “Can you believe that??!!  Two grown men not knowing the game enough to know what is going on??!!”  She was appalled!   It was pretty funny.

menshealth.com

But here is how that situation applies to life:

Often, we are at different levels in our understanding of something we are trying to participate in.  We are there.  We show up.  We do what we think is expected of us.  This father was attending his son’s basketball game.  He brought his daughter to support her brother.  But basketball was obviously not his game or a language he was comfortable speaking.  But he was there, making an effort to participate.

The grandmother was irritated and frustrated, dumb-founded is a better word, that he would be there and not know enough or have had enough experience to know what he was watching or to understand it.  Luckily, she was kind and did not say those things to him directly.  However, her frustration level would probably have risen if she had been asked to work with him teaching basketball to children, especially if he was in charge and she was his assistant or counselor.  In life, and in the work place, the majority of the time, position favors the experienced and knowledgeable.  At church, it often doesn’t.

Contrary to worldly knowledge, the Lord often allows those lacking in knowledge and experience to learn from their experience.  He asks us to do things we are not familiar with and to work in areas that require our growth and development.  If those of us in the supporting staff do not have an attitude of service and learning, it can create quite a nasty environment for trying to do the Lord’s work. 

We all need to be kind.  We need to be patient.  Periodically, people we work with, are going to make mistakes because of their lack of experience or knowledge.  Sometimes their mistakes will affect us or our children directly and negatively.  In these instances, our hurt and anger will not help the situation.  But if we seek the Spirit and share our hurt and sorrow with our Father in Heaven, He will guide us as to what our part in the interaction needs to be.

I am not pretending that I always handle things well, far from it, just ask my family.  But I have had two such instances where after significant prayer and thought, I think I handled things properly, eventually.  The first, you have already read about (here).  The second was where a church leader said something about my husband, that was not true, to my children and in front of other youth in the stake.  I was very angry.  The information really confused my son, enough so that he sought other counsel from other priesthood leaders.  For a long time, I could not even talk to the individual.  I quit giving any kind of information about anything I thought or felt to the person or anything about my family.  I was not mean in our interactions, but it was definitely icy…..you could feel it.

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For a long time, I just tried to stay close to the Spirit, to read my scriptures, to say my prayers, to continue to attend my meetings even though he would be there.  I prayed to know how to handle my frustrations and how to be supportive of the individual even though I was so hurt by his behavior.  Finally the Spirit directed me to this scripture:

3rd Nephi 12:

22 But I say unto you, that whosoever is ^aangry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council; and whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

betterafter50.com

Drew and I have been married 24 years today!!!  Hip hip hooray!!!  I have learned so very, very much!  Here are some snip-its, 24 snip-its in fact:

1. Marriage is hard work.  
2. It takes time.
3. It takes two.
4. Drew is my very best friend, still.  Sometimes I have forgotten that.
5. Home IS where the heart is.  I have to work to keep it here.
6. When I do the work and put in the time, it is the most rewarding relationship I enjoy.
7. When I do not, life is really difficult.
8. The adversary will put in time and effort to destroy my relationships, especially the one with my spouse.
9. The Spirit will help me to work out issues and difficulties in my relationship.  Elder Eyring:  It is only with the companionship of the Holy Ghost that we can hope to be equally yoked in a marriage free from discord. I have seen how that companionship is crucial for felicity in a marriage. The miracle of becoming one requires the help of heaven, and it takes time. Our goal is to live together forever in the presence of Heavenly Father and our Savior.  (To My Grandchildren, General Conference, October 2013.) 
10. Unkind words, spoken in the heat of the moment are often not true.
11. The best work of marriage is the change of self required.  Most of the issues in my relationship are not due to my spouse.  They are because of me.  Even when I have justifiable reasons and my spouse has weaknesses, my reaction to those weaknesses is a major player in our discord.
12. Learning to trust my spouse and share my heart with him is essential.
13. I am not good at either.
14. Intimacy between married partners is a gift.  It should be treated that way.
15. Children deserve parents who are willing to give of self and work out their differences.  Once children have arrived, their needs and what is best for them should outweigh desires to act on marital unhappiness.  In fact, children often do not even know the parents are unhappy.  And unhappily married people who have chosen to remain together are often measured at a greater degree of happiness five years later.  In other words, marriage is a cycle.  It has ups and downs.  If you are not happy today, it does not mean that you will be unhappy in five or ten years.  The choice to leave even because of years of unhappiness is not a guarantee or a sign that things will never improve.  You may not be giving your relationship enough time or effort.  (This is not to say that divorce is never justified….however when only 2% of the people are an exception, 75% of the people will believe they are the exception.  I just decided I was not going to be an exception.  To be honest, so did my spouse, refer to #3.)
16. Humor is a must in any relationship and certainly helps in marriage and parenting.  Many, many stresses can be relieved by viewing them through the lenses of humor.  This usually takes time, see #2.
17. Learning about myself has changed my relationship for the better when I have been willing to change.
18. It is important to find things to do together that the two of you enjoy.  That may mean letting go of things you enjoyed when you were single and learning to do new things as a couple.
19. Sometime #18 is true of friends also.
20. Some things should not be discussed outside of the marital relationship, especially those things that are not so important to you but are really important to your spouse.  If you do not yet know what they are, you should probably find out.
21. Prayer is vital!  When you cannot or you should not talk to others, you can always talk to your Father in Heaven.  He will give you comfort and peace and with enough obedience and patience, He will give you answers.
22. Even when you talk to someone who should be safe, it may come back to bite you.  Therefore, before talking to anyone about your marital issues, you should talk to Heavenly Father first and obey His counsel and advice, even if, at the time, it seems contrary to logical thinking.  He does actually know what is going on in your spouse’s head and heart, and the hearts of others you may seek to confide in.  Just because it is safe and seems logical, does not mean it is right and will not cause problems.
23. After all of these years of living together, the ups and downs, the trials and sorrows, the joy, the children……24 years of together…….why would I want to start over with someone else??  What would be the point?  To learn all of this over again?  I don’t think so.
24. Our Father in Heaven wants our marriages to succeed even more than we do.  He knows if it is possible.  He knows what we need to do to turn sorrow and tragedy into success and happiness and peace.
25. One more for the coming year: Love grows, it does not happen to you.  You do not fall into or out of love.  There is a formula that works:  Time together, going places and doing things.  Communicating from your heart and in kindness.  Sacrificing for your spouse (yes, this means you—-putting your spouse first).  Putting away our weapons of war in our relationship (Refer to Alma 24: 17 – 19).  Seeking out spiritual growth and development.  Patience.  Pretty much you can sum it up in this document:  The Family:  A Proclamation to the World.

Have a great day!!  I will 🙂

We don’t have amazing family Christmas traditions, they are just simple.  Each child gets one gift.  We eat a fancy dinner on fancy dishes.  I wish we all dressed for dinner, but we don’t.  Our desire to have dinner on china dishes was to help our children learn to eat in a formal setting, so as they got older that was not intimidating to them.  Aside from the fact that we are already cooking lots of food and extra dishes are extra work, the children really enjoy this tradition.  We do it for Thanksgiving and Easter too.

But one thing that is truly unique in our home is making homemade pizza.  I have always liked it.  When I was younger, I worked in a pizza parlor.  I love being able to choose which toppings I want and how many of each.  After I learned the art of bread making, pizza making became that much yummier!  (I can’t believe spell check didn’t call me on that last word!)  Now when we make pizza, everyone wants to participate.  With the college boys home for Christmas, the kitchen was even busier.  But the coolest thing about it is I don’t have to be there.  We have done it so much and so often now, the children can do it all without my help and they love it!

So funny!!  The other thing we did was celebrate a birthday with Grandma!

Poor Grandpa….he was sick his entire visit.  He missed all our fun!

Sorry I didn’t get any photos of Christmas morning.  Sport may have some on his camera.  I’ll check.  We got up Christmas morning, ate all the candy and fruit in our stockings, read the Christmas story in Luke, opened our gifts, one of which was my favorite Christmas story:  How the Grinch stole Christmas, then we read it!  It was such a beautiful morning.  I love my family!!  I love having them around!

Both of my college boys asked me to cut their hair while they were home for Christmas.  Yes, I cut hair.  It has probably saved our family millions of dollars!  Seriously think about that.  10 heads of hair needing to be cut every two or so months at conservatively $10.00 a cut, over the last 23 years?  Ya…….a lot of money (because the true math equation would have to take into account the fact that not all 10 people have been here for the entire 24 years so it would be some sort of a calculus equation involving exponents and sums, and it has been 25 years since I have had calculus…not going there, don’t worry.)

But the point is that every time I cut someone’s hair, little Spike thinks he needs a chop.  This time I got photos.  Here they are:

BEFORE

AFTER

Have you ever wondered if you signed some contract in the pre-existence??  I’ll explain what I mean in a minute.  First, a little background information.  One of our fundamental beliefs as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we lived in Heaven before our birth on earth.  Not that we lived another life, but that we are the same person here we were there.  Everyone who has ever lived on the earth lived there with us.  We lived with God, our Father.  We had a spirit body which looks like our temporal body.  Part of coming to earth was receiving a physical body to house our spirit body.  The other part was to show if we would be willing to choose righteousness when we did not remember our life before with God.  Our inability to remember that time is a part of the plan.  It is designed that way so we can show the true desires of our heart. We refer to this time with our Father in Heaven, before birth, as the pre-existence.

Now, you may think this is not fair.  But our Father in Heaven promised us that He would make sure all of us had the opportunity to know the truth.  This will certainly bring up more questions, which I am not going to answer right now, but if you want to discuss it, we can talk about it later, just email me, or I can direct you to someone who can sit down and discuss it with you.  (Click here)

Now the story.

My calling serving in the Primary (children 18 months – 11 years) has been quite challenging lately.  Recently we have doubled our children, lost half of our teachers and we have really been struggling in the reverence department.

I was complaining to one of my college boys after a particularly difficult Sunday.  In mid-sentence, he cut me off. 

“I don’t mean to be rude or insensitive Mom, but to be honest, that is your life.  You signed some pre-existence contract that agreed to working with people with difficult attitudes and very strong wills.  I mean, look at it, you had me, (names some of his siblings), and then (names some of the youth and children I have worked with).  I don’t feel bad for you.  This is your life and it in some contract you agreed to that you would do it.”

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His words struck a tone and resonated in my heart.  This is my life.  He wasn’t even aware of some of the adults that has included.  As soon as I help one attitude move along or change or adjust, another one equally large and determined fills the space.  It is not that I need to dominate it, quite the contrary.  My job is to shape it, with love and kindness, to persuade it to righteousness.  Sometimes I feel like I am fighting Hell itself—for the reality of the situation is that I am. 

The adversary is fighting just as hard to persuade them in the other direction.  (As a side note, to those of you reading my blog who are currently fighting on his side, I may not know who you are or what country you are residing in, but God does.  He knows who you are, where you are, and He knows your intent.  Together, He and I will not allow you to spew your filth through my blog.  This is sacred space and it protects the innocent, and the not so innocent.  I invite you to consider changing your lives and the hold the adversary has on you.  Start here.  And just know, He loves you too, regardless of the changes necessary in your lives.  He will be there for you through the difficult road of repentance.  Start today.)

Maybe you might ask why this is my assignment.  Well, if the truth is told, I have one–an attitude.  I completely understand the attitudes because I constantly struggle against my own.  My desire is for righteousness, but I fight change and I have a fiery temper (just ask anyone who has crossed the line).

I understand the desires of people’s hearts to punch someone because of their behavior or words, so when the behavior actually happens, I feel like I know what they were thinking.  When their nasty words fly out in a heated conflict, they are probably similar things that have gone through my head.  I just do a better job of controlling my behavior in those instances. 

One time my husband was teasing me about spending all of the money in our house and why we didn’t have any.   I just said, ‘Ya’, it’s all my fault.’  A few minutes later he said, “What you should have said was: ‘well, if I was the one paying the bills, that might be a valid comment, really you are the one spending all the money.'”  Then I thought, ‘Why don’t I say stuff like that?’  The immediate thought in my head was, “Because you are nice and you care about how people feel, so you don’t say things like that.”  And I usually don’t, but when pushed to the line, all those things go through my brain.  Unfortunately, sometimes they still come out of my mouth.  I am working on that.

Back to the start of this post:  Can you recognize constant themes in your life?  Is there something you manage, struggle with, or constantly experience that may indicate that you signed a contract in the pre-existence?  If you ask Heavenly Father to help you see it, I know He will, because chances are, it is there for your eternal growth and development!