Slim got his first ‘real’ job on Friday!!  He will be a tutor at an early college high school and periodically substitute teaching in their English classes!

He is super excited and we are excited for him.  Of course, it couldn’t be a full-time job because then they would have to offer him benefits!  Ugh!  But, it is a job in a field he desires, will give him a network of people to work within and give him work experience in that field!  Yea Slim!!!

He called Friday afternoon to tell us after his Friday morning interview.  He was pretty stoked!

Speedy and Shorty had a camp out this weekend.  Poor Speedy didn’t get home until four that afternoon and had to leave at four fifteen!  He threw stuff together and headed out.  But he sent me this photo the day before:

A friend of Slim’s asked for my opinion on feminism.  I liked my letter so much, that I thought I would publish it.  There are so many misconceptions out there about the topic and they are so influenced by everyone’s definitions, which are so different from one another–a superbly charged topic!  I hope I did justice to explaining what I think and feel without falling into any particular definition.  So, here is my letter….

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

I don’t think I have ever publicly shared this story, so I think it is about time.  I know when I read blogs, I can sometimes glean information that doesn’t seem to fit, so I seek the answers through some of the other blog posts the author has written.  Sometimes I can’t find the information I need to put two and two together.  I don’t want this to be one of those places.

Tams is the same age as Spanky and really close in age to Slim and she is the only one who we use her name and not a nick name so it is obvious something is different.  Here is the story, and why it is different.

When we moved here to California, we had four children, Slim, Spanky, Scuff, Sport and were 20 weeks pregnant with Speedy.  Drew was called to be the ward mission leader almost immediately upon our arrival.  The stake president literally ran us down (on foot, not in his car) in the parking lot our first Sunday in the ward.

One family the missionaries were visiting and teaching had two daughters, Tammy and her older sister.  Tams was six.  Her father was an inactive member and her mother was the investigator.  Neither Tams’ father, nor her mother were in good health.  It was difficult for both of them to get around.  Shortly after Ann’s (Tams’ Mom) baptism, I was called to be her visiting teacher.  I visited her every month.  They were difficult visits in that Tams’ dad didn’t want to give up his smoking habit and Tams’ mom was on oxygen.  They had lived a rather rowdy life.  Ann was trying to live her newly made covenants, but Frank (Tams’ dad) wasn’t quite ready to give up his vices.

As time went on, it was obvious Ann’s health was in a steady decline.  She wasn’t going to last too much longer.  We had many discussions about her plans for her funeral and what she wanted for her daughters and what plans she had in place for them.  The only thing she stressed was that she wanted her daughters to be happy and successful.  As probably one of her only consistent friends near the end of her life, I promised Ann that I would do whatever I could to help ensure her wishes would be met.

Tams was 10 when her mother passed away, about four years after her mother joined the church.  By then, Drew was the Bishop of our ward.  When their mother passed away, my sweetheart tried to make sure there were women visiting that house and checking on those girls weekly.  Because I don’t know anything that is going on in the Bishop’s office, I don’t know who was asked to do what, but I do know of three women who stepped up to the plate and kept a rather consistent eye on the girls—I love each and everyone of them!  (Judy Bingham, Ellen Messerly, and Heidi VanBuskirk).  I know other women were asked and would not help (I do not know who they are, thank goodness!)  I was kind of out of commission because Sun was just a baby (1), Speedy was three, and I was expecting Shorty, with my other four children who were 12 and under.

It was a rough couple of years.  But it got more difficult when Tams’ father passed away a few years later.  She was 13.  At that point, I was ready to file the papers to bring those girls to my house and raise them myself.  However, after many discussions with Drew and lots of prayer, it became obvious to me that the rest of Tams’ family needed an opportunity to step in and try to help those girls.  Tams had an older half brother, who lived with his sweetheart and they had two children about the girls’ ages.  And there was an aunt who wanted the opportunity to help out also.  There were custody battles and other issues, but Tams ended up with the family and her sister went to a home that was more suited to her needs (she has some mental disabilities).

By this point in time, I was in the Young Women’s organization.  As part of my responsibilities, I kept tabs on Tammy—just checking in with her periodically and seeing what she needed, emotionally and otherwise.  I became friends with her family and they trusted me to help them out and check in on Tammy.  Periodically we spoke of Tams’ sister and made arrangements for the two of them to spend time together.  It was really difficult for me to watch because I just wanted to rescue Tammy.  I didn’t want her to have to experience the life she was living with her relatives, none of whom were active members.  But the truth be told, I was swimming in my own family.  I realistically could not have managed Tammy’s and her sister’s needs at my house, as much as my heart desired to save them.  But I could keep a watch from a distance and periodically step in and help or facilitate the help they needed, which I did.

Custody battles, lots of emotional discussions, and court appearances were all a part of this time of our interactions with Tammy and her family.  Judy, Ellen and Heidi continued to be an asset and help in tending to Tammy’s and her sister’s needs.

By the time Tammy was 14, she was attending the same high school as my boys.  I drove her to and from school every day.  She hung out with us.  Some other families also became involved in her life.  She had piano lessons at the M’s.  She had family home evening with the Davis’ and when ever she just needed a break from life and some space, she hung out with the Craig’s, whose children were all grown.

By the time Tams was 16, things became very strained at her home, where she was living with her half brother.  Things were pretty intense and emotional.  One day things blew up and Tammy left the house and walked to my house about two to three miles away.  It was normal teenage drama with lots of tears and hurt feelings, but it became obvious that things were not going to be reconciled and Tams was going to need another place to stay.  I again revisited the options with Drew about filing for custody and bringing Tammy home to live with us.  As we prayed about it, again the answer was, “Not now.  This is not for you to do.”  Again, I was not happy with the answer.

Tammy’s brother came over to visit with us.  He was really only comfortable with two families he knew in the church, us and the M’s.  He knew Sister M because he had been the one dropping Tammy off for piano.  Since we were the only two families he knew, we were the only ones he was comfortable with allowing to file for custody.  Since Drew and I had prayed about it and knew the Lord didn’t want us to do it, the M’s were the only option.  We called the Bishop (not Drew) and let him know of the details.  He had been in the loop all along.  I don’t know who spoke with the M’s or how that worked or was approached, but that was what ended up happening.  Tams moved in with the M’s and became a part of their family.

That was really difficult for a lot of us.  I am sure the M’s meant well, but in hopes of acclimating Tammy to their family (I am assuming), Sister M cut off all of Tammy’s interactions with the other families who had stepped in and made her a part of their families. She kind of cut off all of the support network we had built around her, which was really difficult for all of us.  But due to Tammy’s amazing resilience, she still blossomed!

I continued to be Tams’ venting place.  When things were stressful or she needed to talk or cry, she came to me.  I had been there for a long time, watching over her and loving her and caring for her.  In my heart, she was mine and I cared about her that way.  It was really difficult for me when she would pour out her heart and I wanted to come running to her defense.  It was usually my husband who would say, “Carin, remember you are only getting half of the story—her half.”  I knew he was right, but it didn’t stop me from feeling very protective of her.

She lived with the M’s until she was ready to go off to college.  When she comes home, she stays with the M’s.  She loves them!  That is great!  It is wonderful that she has two families—us and the M’s.  When we have family anything, Tams is a part of it.  And when the M’s have any family thing, Tams is a part of that.  We have to share her, but that is alright!  After what she has been through, she deserves the love of two complete families—one with mostly sisters, and the other one full of brothers.

And that is how Tams became a part of us, and she always will be!

I finished my quilt top!!!  And I am almost finished with the back 🙂

Yea!!

Here are some photos!

Here is a closeup of the boarder.  I did a strip boarder.  This isn’t too bad for my first quilt!!

And here is what I am doing for the back.  I just used material I already had at home.  I am only going to buy batting and binding.  Pretty exciting!!  I think I am most excited because this is how quilting got started in the first place.  People just used the old scraps they had and put them together to make their bedding.  This entire quilt is pieced together from just that—left overs, or things just sitting in my closet!  Super exciting!!  Here is the back:

Not super beautiful, but not bad for leftovers!
Have a great day!!

I had 14 youth in seminary this morning!!!  That is amazing considering last year we had four!!  We added 10 youth!  10!!  I am so excited!

I don’t know if they will all stay.  I will pray they will, but to have 14 kids on a day that most of them do not have school, as in 12 of them didn’t—that is totally awesome!

We put our minds together and just really went out and invited all of those youth who are of age to come to seminary!  Our seminary secretary gave us a great welcoming idea with a candy gram, so we made one for each of our students and invited them personally—the other youth did.

Here is what they looked like:

“You are invited to expand your mind with ‘nuggets’ of knowledge and find spiritual ‘starbursts’.  Find ‘extra’ fun with ‘jolly’ friends.  Plus there are lots of ‘snickers’ with friends and teachers.

Seminary can be a real ‘life saver’.

Yes, SEMINARY is worth ‘100 Grand’.  Be ‘twix’t you and me, seminary just can’t be beat!  It’s the best way to start your day!   So be a ‘smartie’ and come to seminary!”

We got them to all but one person.  He is out of town due to the passing of a relative.  But I think he will come too.

We have also worked as a seminary counsel to include those students who aren’t normally coming in our prayers.  We have prayed with faith that those student would be willing to come and give us a try.

It was so amazing to have our room full!!  I just cannot even express my gratitude to our Father in Heaven for answering our prayers.  Now we just need to pray that we can teach with the Spirit, they will feel it and that Spirit will draw them in.  Please add us to your prayers!!

Our leaders have been trying to tell us that if we will pray in faith and then do the work to bring those souls into the gospel, the Lord will bless our efforts.  The question has been:  Are we willing to work the Lord’s way and change the ways we have been doing things!

For our seminary, that has meant including our youth in bringing our other youth to the table.  Asking them to pray for them and exercise their faith, to invite them, to look out for them, say ‘Hi’ to them, invite them!  And today we are seeing the results of that in our youth!  I am so excited!!

This work is contagious!  It is His work and His glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man!  We can participate in that work and we can do it today!!  Reach out, reach out in love, go and see your visiting teachees, visit your students of your classes, or your primary, or young women, or young men, or the Elders, the RS Sisters, or your High Priests!!  Go and see those who are on your rolls who are not now coming.  Pray to know who to see (the Lord knows your time is short too), reach out to them in love and friendship, see what you can do to serve them and help them feel the love of the Master reaching after them, then invite them to come and join us and make that love a continued part of their lives!!  As they do so, and feel of it often, they will then do that same thing and reach out to others, your ward, primary, RS, Young Women, or priesthood quorums will grow!!  It is amazing!!  Go and do it today!!

copyright: Karen Larsen photography. Isn’t she amazing?!!  Gorgeous!

Yesterday I taught our youth Sunday School class about marriage and family.  It helped that the only youth in the class were my children and that marriage and family are one of my favorite topics, even my field of study in college!

The major point of the lesson was helping the youth to think about the ‘whys’ of marriage and family and then how to communicate effectively, kindly, and succinctly those principles and doctrines.

We discussed the doctrines and principles, read The Family:  A Proclamation to the World, and read President Hinckley’s address about “Why we do the things we do.“

Then I had the kids give me question that they have heard at school:

“What do you have against same gender marriage?”

Then the kids spent 20 minutes writing the answer to that question, then we read them to each other.  I heard many of the same points we have discussed here at the house, which was good.  That means our teaching is sinking in right?

I am trying to get myself into bed earlier since seminary started today.  But–

I felt it was important to explain why marriage and family matter today.  Do you realize that The Family:  A Proclamation to the World was give 20 years ago next month?  20 years ago!

I was there when President Hinckley shared it with us for the first time at the General Women’s Meeting September 23, 1995.  I remember when he read it that I thought, “Wow, that is great!  I believe that! Doesn’t everyone?”

Look where we are 20 years later—only 20 years later—not a generation, not my grandmother’s day, not even the time it takes to be considered an adult old enough to consume alcohol.  Crazy!

Marriage and family, the Lord’s way with His definitions, is the way to happiness and peace in this life.  It is what brings about the best good for the most people.  It is the right of children born and unborn, to have two parents of differing genders bound together by covenants to love and honor each other, to stick it out and work out their differences, to do it for the benefit of society, for something beyond themselves and their personal happiness, to fulfill their obligations to the rest of the people who share this earth with them.  Yes, we have responsibilities to be the best we can be and to do it for other people, not just us.

I read an article today, shared by a Baptist preacher who tried to explain that unwed pregnancy isn’t a sin.

Wow.  He missed a few points.  Yes, that baby is innocent.  He/she did nothing wrong.  He/she was probably just so excited to get a body and have his/her experience in mortality that he/she jumped for joy and took the opportunity!  But the young woman’s pregnancy was a direct result of sin, premarital sex.  His point was that she needs love and comfort and to be treated fairly—-I agree with that.  She doesn’t need to be the topic of gossip or whispering in her church congregations.  I agree with that.

But you cannot celebrate her actions without encouraging others to make the same choice she did.

And back to the point, what about the baby.  What have her (and his, because we know she didn’t do it alone) actions cost the baby?  What have their actions cost the two young people who participated in bringing that baby here?  It has cost them a lot (much more than any financial costs!).

What are the differences if that baby is born into a family who are married and bound together by covenants and moral feelings about their obligations and responsibilities to others in their communities?  What are the differences for the youths if those are their choices as well?

Of course, there are other, greater ramifications when you want to add same gender couples into the equation—and not just for the children.

Those of us who do not believe as they do, well, they are calling us names and trying to prove through the legal system that our beliefs are unconstitutional and bigoted.  Last I checked, this was a free country and a man or woman was free to believe how they want, and worship how they want, and speak how they want.  So how are my beliefs unconstitutional?  Am I free to have them?  Then I do.  Sorry they are different than yours.

With the civil rights movement, men and women were being treated unfairly because of their color.  They were not allowed the same freedoms others experienced because of their skin.  That is wrong, then and now.  The laws were inequitable.  Today they are trying to tell owners of businesses that they cannot choose who they offer their services to.  They are trying to force people to participate in society in ways that go against their beliefs.  That is a very different thing.

Those same service are not being denied to homosexuals.  They are free to get them elsewhere.  There are people who will serve them and cater to them, even.  But they want to force those of us who have moral objections to participating in their life styles to do so.  That is wrong too.  Since when should people be forced or fined for upholding their beliefs through their actions?  Are their actions harming them, denying them rights?  Nope.  It just goes against their conscience to participate in those ways.  People should not be forced to violate their conscience or beliefs.  That is what goes against our constitution, not the other way around.

So now I have typed way more than I intended to and I am up past my bedtime.   So wish me luck for seminary tomorrow!!  Good night.

It always surprises me when I plan on posting on Friday and I don’t have time to get it written and out before Friday, that Friday is usually just as busy as the days before it.  It should not surprise me, but it does every time.

I have been preparing and preparing for seminary—lots of Old Testament reading.  Plus, I have been studying the seminary manual on becoming a better teacher.  The process the manual stresses about teaching is to first understand the scripture block (context and content), then to pick out the principles taught, understand the doctrines and principles, decided how you want to teach the principles and context/content so that your class understands their truth and importance and feels them deeply, and then to apply those doctrines and principles.  It does us no good to know the doctrines and the principles and then not to apply them.  That is the goal of all of our teaching, to teach the principles and doctrines in a way that motivates our students to apply them.

That is the major goal of our parenting too.

We want our children to understand the doctrines and principles of the gospel in such a way that they are then motivated to apply those doctrines and principles.  Of course, it presupposes that we understand the doctrines and principles of the gospel and how they should apply in our lives.  If we do not know, we cannot teach them.  I think that is where my parents fell down.  They did not know enough of the doctrines and principles or how they should apply.

Where do we find the doctrines and principles? 

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

In the scriptures.

The prophets have spent an ample amount of time writing down their inspired stories of life.  As we read through them, and think about the circumstances and emotions and feelings that we are reading about, we can see, sometimes directly spelled out, other times inferred, the principles and how they applied.

Here is an example:

In the story of Nephi and the brass plates, we hear Nephi say in 1st Nephi 3:7, “I will go and do that which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

That is a principle, stated directly.  In our own words, it sounds like this:  If they Lord commands us to do something, He has already prepared a way for us to accomplish it.  Obedience is required, and the Lord will help us.

Then how do we apply it.  Well, it has multiple applications.

For Carin and Drew, when the Lord told us to move to California, and the only job we could find paid only half of what we were making in Utah, that didn’t mean that we were exempt from going.  It meant, the Lord had prepared a way and we needed to exercise our faith and do what we knew the Lord was asking of us.

You may not be asked to do something so dramatic.  But even in working with our children, the principle applies.  We know, through our prophets, the Lord has asked us to read our scriptures every day and pray, every day.  Regardless of our circumstances, the Lord has prepared a way for us to accomplish that command.  We may need to adapt our definition of what that looks like or the circumstances we think we need in place to accomplish that.  We may need to ask for help and assistance in making the changes necessary to make that a part of our routine.  If we are not willing to even do that much, where is our faith?

Another principle that we can pull from that scripture applies to our parenting.  If our Father in Heaven is willing to ‘make a way for us to accomplish all that He commands us,’ what then is our obligation to our children?  Is it not to prepare a way for them to accomplish the things that we ask of them?  We need to help them and plan for their success.  That is what righteous parents do.  It would be immoral of us to ask something of our children that we knew they are incapable of doing.  And if we are the teaching parents we need to become, we will not only plan for their success, but will help them accomplish the goal and be their cheerleader along the way, just like our Father does for us.

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

I didn’t realize that I had so much to say on the subject.  Anyway, that is enough for us to think about today.  As you read your scriptures, think deeply of the people, circumstances, and the things they are being asked to do and how they solve their problems.  Pull out the principles that you see there and think of how they applied them.  Then think about your own life or that of your children.  Where might those principles apply to your daily struggles or the issues you are facing?  Do you have the faith to put the Lord to the test?  The principles are eternal and time tested and proven, which is why they are in the scriptures.  Try it, be willing to put your whole heart and faith into it.  If you need more motivation, read Alma’s exposition about faith in Alma 32 (here).  Remember that seeds do not grow over night, even over weeks, sometimes.  Harvesting takes months, sometimes years.  It may take that long for your plant to fruit, but it will fruit, if you continue to nourish it and care for it.

Have a great weekend!!

For mutual tonight, the boys asked me if I would demonstrate cutting men’s hair.  I am by no means an expert and the only training I have had is a lot of practice and a girl friend who taught me the basics.

But, Sun took photos of the entire event, so here they are:

Start trimming around the ears

and the back

shave up the sides to a bowl cut

back too

wet the top to cut to desired length

Make a line down the middle to desired height

 

Blend the top to match the line you cut down the center

 

Blend the sides to match the top

 

Blend the sides to match the lines you shaved up to what you cut on top

 

send them to the mirror to check it out and give feedback

put them back in the chair and fix your mistakes

We let him get out of the chair and then Sun said, “Hey Mom, he still has a line in the back of his head!”  So we sat him back down and blended that line into the rest of the hair.  Viola!  Done.

For little people, I put them in front of something they rarely get to watch on TV and sit right behind them with their bum between my legs and then I cut their hair on the floor.  If they want to get up, I let them and then I try to coax them back to let me finish it.  I just make sure I have enough time so they can get up and run around without me having to leave the house or do something else.  Then it can be relaxing without a lot of stress for the little person or the hair cutter.

Yea!! Our photo shoot from July is back 🙂  Thank you so much to our dear friends who always take time out of their busy schedule to photograph our family!!  I love them more than they know!!

I am just going to pull out a few early favorites!  I haven’t had enough time to go through them in detail yet!

I liked this one because of Scuff in the back

I think this is my favorite with one exception.  Can you see it?

And here are the three I chose each time I looked through the group.  Since they are the only ones I chose both times, they must be the best, right?

Slim looks so much like my brother in this photo.