Copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

My goal for 2014 was to write every Friday, 52 written blog posts!!  Well, here is how I did.  I numbered 46, forgot one, and missed five.  That is not too bad.  I was pretty impressed because truly, I did not think I would come anywhere near that number.

So, what am I going to do for  2015?  Well, I really like Family First Friday, so I think I will continue it and try to reach my goal of 52 posts in 2015!  And I am off to a rocking start because yesterday was the first Friday of 2015 and I didn’t even remember it was Friday!  So there was no post yesterday, just in case you were wondering!

Today isn’t a really crazy day, we have basketball first thing this morning and then a missionary lesson this evening with dinner guests.  Tomorrow is the first Sunday of our new schedule.  Church in the morning, we will see how that goes.  But the obnoxious thing for today and yesterday and the five days before that, is my stupid sewage system is backing up again!  So once again, we are waiting for the plumber!  My favorite!  Ugh!  Then school starts on Monday and we have a nutso week next week and the week after.  I will probably have to post sometime in the middle of the night (or at least write it then :-).

Christmas is almost put away, not quite but almost.  And I was released from my calling last week.  Maybe I will have a new one tomorrow.

I don’t have much more to say about that topic, but stay tuned.  I think I would also like to post on Sundays, but I haven’t figured out a catchy title for those posts, or any kind of a theme.  Maybe it would be better if they are just random posts of my thoughts and feelings for the day?  I don’t know, I’ll mull it over and see if anything sparks my imagination!  Have a beautiful first Sabbath day of 2015!!!

It is so hard to believe this was taken 2 years ago!!  Yes, today Smiley is 10!  10!  A Webelo!  Two years away from receiving the Aaronic Priesthood!!  Today he looks like this:

In desperate need of a hair cut—but that is the agenda for tomorrow.  Today we are going to play and eat pizza and cake and I get to do grocery shopping—my favorite!  Ick!

As a fourth grader, Smiley is intelligent, fun, witty, studious, and a little mischievous.  He is playing community basketball and has decided that he is a baritone player.  He is an excellent reader and has a unique ability to put intellectual information together.  He is extremely logical and doesn’t leave out pieces.  He is the exact duplicate of his father.  Watching him grow gives me a glimpse of what my husband must have been like as a boy.  He loves hugs.  He knows the doctrines of the gospel.  I hope and pray he will choose to apply that knowledge wisely.

Here are a few photos from Christmas Day.  Sun made all of us beenies, that’s what we are wearing in the photos.  Have a great Holiday!!

Reads:  Mom, I love you always, even when you lay down the law!

We accidentally scheduled our missionaries to skype at the same time!  They got to skype each other too!

Well, I should have written my family Christmas letter by now, but I have had a difficult time this holiday season so I am just a tad slow in that department.  Here is what has been going on at our house this year:

Slim graduated from Southern Virginia University in May and then came home to live until he planned on attending law school in the fall.  Due to the continuing consequences of 14 concussions (over the last 10 years), he needed more recuperation time than he originally thought.  He ended up postponing law school until the Fall of 2015.  He had planned on taking his final LSAT exam in December and reapplying to some of the schools.  The week of his exam, he decided that maybe he didn’t want to go to law school and he had definitive impressions of where he should be and what he should be doing.  Two weeks before Christmas, he moved to Utah.  That may be why I am struggling this holiday season.  I really wanted my big boys to be home for Christmas and instead of one of them being here, he up and left too without much warning.  We are all adjusting and missing him.  Though we know he is in the right place and doing the right things, we are still sad.  His brothers in Utah, however, are having much more fun now that he is there.

Spanky spent the year in Utah, home for just a month in May.  He was engaged, and then not engaged.  He is doing well.  And I think he has finally settled in on his major!!  Maybe now he can get life organized to graduate from college 🙂  Spanky is working security for the MTC (missionary training center) and learning more about himself as he continues his education.  He and Sport are in the same housing complex at BYU but they are in different wards.

Scuff is just five months away from finishing his mission!!!  Because of visa complications, he spent his first 12 months in Colorado, and the final 12 months in Brazil.  Slim cannot wait for him to come home because then they can speak Portuguese to each other and talk about everyone around them.  Ya…we are all looking forward to that…NOT.  I am very excited to see him and SKYPE with him tomorrow.  Hopefully, the storm we are currently experiencing will not knock out our power!!  Pray for SKYPE power!!

Sport just finished his first full-time semester at BYU!  He took an animation class, one of the pre-requisites to the program.  Next semester he is taking another one.  He has decided that he loves animation and it is definitely the way he wants to go.  I think this next semester he has a few more art classes which should help him to enjoy his time on campus and relax.  He is not very interested in dating, though he has plenty of social opportunities and I think he will put in his missionary papers in February with plans to leave after Scuff arrives home.  He wants to see his brother.  When we get the details of his call, of course, we will let you know!

Speedy is just a couple of months away from turning 16!!  The conversation has only revolved around cars and driving but there hasn’t been much talk about dating.  So that is interesting.  He has been frustrated and swamped with homework, however, he is making the adjustment and at the moment is simply glad to have zero requirements to be met for the Christmas break.  I cannot believe the oldest of our second set is just around the corner from dating and driving.  Where does the time go???

Sun has really been struggling this year with homework.  She is bright and she can do it!!!  But getting her to do it willingly has been like pouring out molasses during a snow storm.  OH.MY.GOODNESS!!  I have never struggled so much to motivate someone in my entire life.  Seriously!  When I feel overwhelmed and life is coming at me from all angles, I put my head down, organize myself by what can get done the easiest and the fastest and be out of my way, and then I just start biting off pieces of the elephant.  Sun does not work that way.  She hides in her room with a book, and her pile just increases exponentially because even though she has stopped working, the work didn’t stop coming in.  I don’t know how many times this year, I have sat down and helped her to organize her workload, talked to her about strategies for accomplishing things, bolstered her self-esteem, planned rewards for accomplishment, etc….  It has been exhausting!  And still, over Christmas break, she gets to try and finish off four of her five classes before the next ones start in January.  Oy!  We had her Christmas break in October, for the entire month, and then again a few weeks in November and definitely the last two weeks after Slim left.  Holy Cow!  If you have any suggestions for me, I’ll listen.  On the brighter side of life, she is performing in The Little Mermaid, Jr. over the weekend of my anniversary.  She is playing one of Ursula’s eels and she is singing a duet entitled, “Sweet Child”.  She is an amazing little actress and singer.  One day, while watching her rehearsal, I got creepy goose-bumps because she was acting creepy.  I wasn’t even watching her, but the feeling just enveloped me.  I can’t wait to see it on stage!!

Shorty is really enjoying his sixth grade year.  He has been to school with these boys since kindergarten.  He loves his teacher and we love her!  And he made the school basketball team so that craziness has begun.  In June, he’ll graduate and prepare for his favorite two years (home with Mom for seventh and eighth grades).  But for now, he is loving life!  He has also been quite the little missionary.  His friend Isaiah has been attending church with us for about 2 months now.  He and his mother are taking the missionary lessons in our home.  I think Isaiah would have been baptized a long time ago but I am glad his mother is wanting to know what he is learning about.  Isaiah is a great boy and we love having him come with us!

Smiley is turning 10 soon, like in just a little over a week.  I cannot believe the last of our second set of four is almost in the double digits.  Seriously!   10?  Really??!!  It probably would seem more realistic if he didn’t spend almost all of his waking hours fighting with Spike Spike.  I never knew that children who were far apart in age, if they are still next to each other in birth order, fight just as much as the ones who are closer in age.  Can I get another:  Holy Cow!

Spike Spike constantly pushes his buttons, because that is his personality.  Smiley doesn’t talk and tries to physically manipulate Spike which he will not tolerate.  So between the two of them, there is constantly yelling, screaming, whining, and occasionally hitting.  They are exhausting!  It is like having Slim and Spanky (on steroids) in the house again, except they are 7 years apart, not 19 months.  Sheesh!  Finally Drew told Smiley that if they had any more problems, he needed to know that they were all going to be his because he was old enough to know better and work with other people and Spike wasn’t yet.  Man!

Spike Spike finally potty trained!  And now we are looking at the adjustment to Sunbeams and Primary.  Already, he is struggling.  We have been bringing the ‘almost Sunbeams’ into singing time.  Spike will not sing when they sing and then he is sad that he didn’t get to sing with them so he wants them to sing it again, which they don’t, and then he melts into a puddle and I have to take him out.  I’m sure the transition will just be lovely, so stay tuned for that.

As for me and Drew, we are doing fine and well.  I have been learning a lot about myself and my thoughts and feeling toward my parents and recognizing how I function based on my experiences growing up.  The Lord is helping me understand that there are things I need to learn, like how to trust Him, how to ask Him for help, and then to believe Him when He tells me He has it covered.  (That is only significant and huge because growing up I learned that I could not count on people or trust them with things I needed or asked for, or if they told me they would take care of something, they usually didn’t.)  Consequently, I do not have many expectations of people because my experience has been that they are going to let me down anyway.  I’m sure my behavior has been difficult for Drew as well, because I lumped him into the ‘people’ category, even though he doesn’t deserve that and has never given me reason to believe that I can’t trust him, or he won’t help me.  So we have had to work through that.  But at least now it is in our conscious conversation not running a muck in the background of our relationship.

But through all of our trials and growth and development, we have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ!!  We know that with His help, we can do all things!!!  We know that anything He asks of us, He has already prepared the way for our success if we are willing to listen and then to obey His instructions!  We rejoice in the season to celebrate His birth here on the earth and acknowledge His hand in all things.  We pray that our hearts will be soft enough to follow His counsel, listen to His prophets, and obey His commandments and recognize when we need to implement the great gift of His atonement in our lives!

May you and yours enjoy this most magnificent holiday season, always remembering our Savior, Jesus Christ!

copyright:  Karen Larsen photography

So I don’t know if you noticed, but each of the people who live at my house, and at your house, are individuals.  They are unique.  Their thoughts and feelings about the world are different than yours or mine or their siblings.  Their fears and concerns, they are different too.

Yes, there are ‘normal adolescent’ behaviors, most growing babies and children reach the same milestones within a given time frame, but that doesn’t mean their perception of life and the world around them is the same as their peers or other children of that age.

I probably spent over an hour last night with my Sun, discussing her fears and concerns about growing up.  She doesn’t want to.  She is doing all she can to avoid it.  This entire week she has been upset because she recognizes that in about six months she will be in high school.  “High school is for the big kids!” she told me.  “And now, I am going to be one of the big kids.  I don’t wanna be!”

That is so entirely different from me or any of her brothers.  I couldn’t grow up fast enough.  Bring it on!!!  I wanted to be an adult!  Now that I am an adult, I would really like to be a teenager again.  I don’t want to have little babies again, or go through childbirth again, or raise toddlers again, (just because those things were really hard for me).  But I loved being a teenager and playing basketball, volleyball, participating in band and playing my trumpet—I loved those things.

I love other things about motherhood that I did not have as a teenager.  I love the relationship I have with my teenagers and my adult children.  I love being able to drive where I want and when I want, though as a mother I spend most of my driving time shuttling people to and from their activities and not my activities!  I love having a relationship with my spouse—someone I can always count on, even when I don’t think I can.  He is always there.  He always love me—even if I don’t feel that.

Yesterday, he had a work party where they had a gift exchange.  I looked all week for a gift for that party.  Nothing I picked out would work.  Finally, the night before the party, Drew went out all over town looking for his gift.  He came home with something but it wasn’t what he wanted.  The morning of, he asked me to wrap it.  Sure.  Because I have nothing else to do at 7 in the morning.

Well, I was willing to help him out.  And I wasn’t being passive-aggressive.  I intended to wrap his gift.  I brought it in the kitchen and set it down as I pulled some breakfast together for the crew.  Then I heard a crash!  I turned around and there was Drew’s gift, in pieces on the ground.  I broke it.  It fell off of where I had placed it.

I went in to tell Drew.  With a long face and droopy countenance, I informed him that I had just broken his gift.  He looked at me for a minute and started laughing and said, “I guess you get to go shopping today.  Here is what I really was looking for, and I just need it by 11.”  He continued laughing the rest of the morning, even though I felt horrible.

I am grateful he loves ME and not things (including money)!  He is learning how to nurture me and I am learning to nurture him and together we are learning how to nurture our people.  Each one teaches us something new and each one requires us to stretch and learn and grow because they are all so different.

The trick is helping each one feel loved and learn from their mistakes and improve who they are and how they manage themselves and their responsibilities.  We are all going to make mistakes, even as adults!  And when we do, if we are big enough people to admit that and take our lumps and apologize to the people we have hurt, including our children and our spouse, then we are becoming the right kind of people indeed!

So there is my soap box for the week!

Have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy the holidays!  I will, even though my big boys are not home!  Maybe we’ll even have photos 🙂

Remember last week when I told you life was just crazy at our house?  Well, I thought we were at the tip top for how stressed out things were and what was going on.  I was wrong.

On Monday of last week, Slim told us that he thought things weren’t heading in the right direction and he thought he should scrap his life plans and go a different direction.  We were shocked, but it is his life and we want him to be happy and successful in that happiness.  The entire week, he struggled with whether or not to take his last LSAT (I guess you can only take it three times within five years and this would have been his third time).  Every time he tried to prepare to take his LSAT, he was grouchy, irritable and stressed.  When he discussed doing something else (which I will save for later because it is still in the works), he was light and excited and buoyant.  His personality was like night and day as he discussed and debated between the two options.

Finally, Thursday before the test, he decided that he didn’t like law and hasn’t ever liked it and he isn’t really good at it.  So he withdrew from his last LSAT.  At this point, he still has been accepted to law school and has a place for the fall if he wants it, but he does not need to make that decision until around March or April when he would have to start putting money towards school.

Then, Saturday afternoon, he told his father and I that he felt like he needed to move and move next week, like out of the state.  Seriously?  You have no money and no job.  But, as my son is becoming quite adept at listening to the Spirit, and as he has been following those thoughts and promptings and counseling with the Lord throughout the steps, things are falling into place.  I won’t post this until Friday, but I am writing on Tuesday morning.  Slim is leaving tomorrow!

I am really struggling emotionally!!  His decision is so sudden and happening so quickly that I have had no time to process.  I am sad that he is leaving because I know when he leaves this time, he won’t be coming back.  He is moving out forever!  I went through this once, when he left for college after his mission.  I thought then that he wouldn’t be coming back.  I was worried I would struggle with his return, because though I love him dearly, he is just a little high maintenance and sometimes he causes me stress.  But I love him dearly and he has been so much fun to have at the house!!  The relationships he has built with his younger siblings has been priceless!!  He and Shorty were close before, but now he is close with all of the littler generation at our house.  He loves them all and they love him!!  As you can probably guess and see, I am not the only one struggling.  Drew is sad and all of the children are sad.  I need to tell Spike.  I don’t think he knows yet.

He is licking her nose!

In fact, just yesterday Sun said to me, “Wait, you mean Slim is MOVING to……….?  Not just visiting for Christmas?”

“Yes.  That is what we have been talking about all weekend!.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me??”

So today, I will get to help her manage her emotions.  So since she didn’t pick up on it, I suppose I had better make sure the rest of the littles who are here know so we can deal with the drama all at once.

Had to include this cheesy Flynn smolder!

Anyway, I have really, really enjoyed having my boy home.  I am also sad because I really really wanted some of the big guys home for Christmas and now I will have none of them here!  So that makes me sad too.  I think I have just needed to write all this down so I will actually cry, because I still have not done that yet.  I am so retarded sometimes!!

Last night, we had all Slim’s buddies over to hang out and say their farewells.  Today will be packing and purchasing travel tickets.  And tomorrow he’ll be gone.  And then maybe I will cry all weekend.  The bad thing about loving them so much is how sad you are when they leave!

Sun’s going to sing her first solo in church on Sunday, in Slim’s young adult ward, because Slim was in charge of the program for that Sunday and he isn’t even going to be there to hear her sing.  I am sad about that too.  Now I really need to decorate for Christmas, before I am too sad to do it.  Life is really crazy sometimes.  And just when you think it is at its craziest, the crazy escalates!

I just had a brilliant thought!  I need to take photos of Slim with each of the littles…..that will help each of them!  If I get that done, I’ll post them with this blog.  If it posts without photos, just know that we had a huge storm here Wednesday and my power might be out!!  🙂  I have to prepare for that today too.  Love you friends!

And this is how I am managing the day.

I got a new phone….which has a camera!!!  (And internet!!!)  So I can post photos!  These aren’t anything special.  I was just messing around with it, but check it out!

And they loaded incredibly fast!!  Technology is so cool!  And yes, the entire family room is messed up because the ping pong table is still in the family room.  The missionaries are jealous (I mean my missionaries, the ones who live here when they are home).  I haven’t decided if I LOVE that our house is flexible and changes for us to enjoy it and have fun or if I HATE it because it can’t really stay ‘clean’ if the furniture is always is disarray.  But whatever!  It is what it is and my children love that we move stuff out of the way and rearrange things to play ping pong, build forts, put up a tent, watch a movie, have a picnic dinner on the floor….the house is in a constant state of flux (not with walls and flooring like in the house I grew up in) but with furniture, so we can play.

Anyway, have a great day!

I have been swimming in craziness this week, and stressed.  I thought if I laid it all out there I might understand why I am stuffing my feelings and feeling crazy.  So here goes.

Spike has been sick.  He has been extra clingy and whiny, though he is sleeping alright, and he plays.  So then I forget that he is sick until he coughs or sneezes or I have to wipe his nose.  But he isn’t eating well, which is contributing to his whining.  Last night I was just finished with him even though I hadn’t been home a lot of the day.  That is probably why he has been extra needy, especially yesterday.

I spoke with both Spanky and Sport yesterday about finals, dating, not being home for Christmas, work, and generally their lives.  They are both feeling stressed because finals are coming up and all of their college work is due soon (major papers and projects, etc…).  They needed some Mom support.

Slim is not feeling well and stressed because he is trying to decide if he is taking his last LSAT on Saturday.  He has been trying to study and prepare for weeks.  The closer it gets to Saturday, the more stressed out he is and the more his head hurts.  He is trying to make big decisions about what he should be doing with his life and what it is going to look like for the next little while.  It is causing him significant stress.  So even though he is not asking me for help in making that decision, he is grouchy and physically needy because he doesn’t feel well and is stressed out.

Sun is grouchy and unmotivated because she has procrastinated her homework for months.  The semester ends on December 19th, but her work has to be done by the 12th so we can order her finals.  When she is stressed and overwhelmed, she just quits working.  It is like moving molasses in the snow to get her working when she is in that place.  She hides and reads her books instead of doing homework.  I feel like every time I turn around I am trying to find her and help her get moving.  She kind of needs me to sit down and hold her hand to help her push through the wall of her attitude.  It is exhausting!!  Also, her play is scheduled for January 9th with two weeks of Christmas break so the rehearsal schedule and intensity at the moment is in our faces.

Add to that basketball season starts.  Speedy made his school team, with a wonky practice schedule that I am not always aware of.  Yesterday I thought he would be home to babysit for Sun’s rehearsal but he had practice.  Half an hour before we had to leave, I didn’t know if I would have a babysitter or have to take the little guys with me.  Speedy ended up skipping practice, for which I was grateful, but stressed until I figured that whole thingy out.  Shorty has tryouts on Monday and Tuesday of next week.

We also had dinner guests for Slim’s birthday on Monday (another turkey dinner with a ping pong tournament in the family room—-the table STILL sitting in my family room—FYI).  We have dinner guests scheduled for Friday with a missionary lesson.  And did I mention it is my month for sharing time in Primary?  I keep forgetting to get that ready and my house is trashed.  And Drew has extra bishop work because of tithing settlement and we have some singing assignments for church.  Yep……..I can kind of see why I am feeling a little stressed out.  Did I mention that I have been sick too?

I haven’t even gotten out my Christmas decorations yet.  It just feels like more than I can manage right now, but I know if I will just do it, I will relax a little more and enjoy the season.  And I need to turn on some Christmas music and watch my Christmas movies.  That will help too.  But with all there is to do, I have not felt like I have time to pull out the decorations, sit down and watch a movie, or even listen to special music.  I think that is where I will start.  I can clean and listen to Christmas music.  Then when things are cleaner, I will feel like there is space for Christmas (maybe once the ping pong table is out of the family room!!)  OK that has to go.  My family will not be happy.

So here is how I handled that stress.  I said my prayers and read my scriptures.  I took a shower, because I hadn’t had one in two days.  When I got out, I put on something that made me feel happy, powerful, and confident.  It wasn’t something that I would wear if I were presenting something at work, just normal comfortable clothing, but something that made me feel like I could conquer the day.  I put on make-up and did my hair, even if it only took five minutes.  While in the shower, I realized the most important thing I could do that day was help Slim feel confident in making his decision and help him to see how his behavior has changed based on what his plans were.  Slim and I spent only about an hour together, but through that time, he made some significant decisions and discoveries that helped him make his decision.  Once the decision was made, his attitude was softened and brightened.  I bought laundry soap and an easily prepared dinner, so those responsibilities weren’t weighing on me.  I assigned one of the children to make dinner and another one to comfort Spike.  I took Sun to class and relaxed for the two hours we were there.

When I got home, I threw my diet out the window and just ate what I had one of the kids make because making something, even little for myself seemed too much work for the day.  I thanked Heavenly Father that my cell phone is out of commission for the day because it is fewer people to get a hold of me.  Today I will do better with my eating and take Spike Spike to the doctor.  Then I will turn on Christmas music, clean my house, and pull out the decorations.  Yea for December!! 🙂

First and foremost………..I am not a black Friday kind of girl.  Sure, I like a bargain.  However, we do not spend inordinate amounts of money on Christmas.  We just can’t and I’m really glad that we can’t.  I do not want to participate in the commercialism of the season.  I want to remember that I celebrate the Christmas season to rejoice in the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!  I want to remember to be thankful, to love other people and to recognize the blessings we have and express that gratitude through our service to others.

Black Friday with all of the it’s early morning shopping and standing in line and the brawls at the checkout line scream to me some of the problems in our society.  We are so hip on getting a bargain, that in our greed and desire for self-satisfaction we trample other people, bring little children with us when they should be in bed, and get rid of any Christian virtues we may have been trying to work on the rest of the year.  Ya’……NO THANK YOU!  I will stay home and enjoy my family and pay for the things I really want to purchase as gifts for my loved ones.

But this post wasn’t about black Friday.  It just happens to fall on that day.

I have been struggling this year because I’m sad that I don’t get to spend the holidays the way I did as a kid.  When I was younger, we would all gather at my Aunt Janelle’s house.  All of the families, cousins, aunt, and uncles, grandparents, would bring parts of the Thanksgiving feast.  Then we would gather the day of, hang out with one another while the odds and ends were put together and then we would eat this amazing feast and visit some more.  I loved going to Janelle’s house because it was the one time during the year when I saw people who I didn’t usually see.  They loved me.  I knew they loved me.  They asked me about my life and my interests.  I loved mingling with them and hearing about their lives and their children.  It seemed the one time when I felt like people really cared and they weren’t so caught up in their own lives.  (Child’s perspective, remember).

I finally acknowledged recently that I really miss those times and seeing all of those people.  Thanksgiving, to me, means the gathering of family, and for me the emphasis is for the children.

When I finally let myself feel sad for all of those years of unmet Thanksgiving desires, I realized also, that the Thanksgiving times I remembered, no longer exist, with those people.  I love them.  I miss them.  Most of them are still living.  But most of them are also the grandparents and great-grandparents.  Their children are gathering with their families and inviting those grandparents.  And me with my parents?  Well, my parents are divorced and both remarried.  The children are all struggling with their relationships with the parents and with each other to some degree.  And the bigger and most significant part, is that none of those people (my parents, siblings, and their children) are interested in discussing the spiritual aspects of the holidays.

When I was a child, when we gathered, we came together with people who were like minded in their desires to be living the gospel.  I went from a home where I was cared for, but not necessarily taught the gospel to a place where more people were more nurturing and interacting with the children.  If I tried to be doing the same things, my children today would be going from a home where the gospel is taught, sought after, and discussed, to a home where people don’t want to talk about it and their behavior reflects that.  It would not be a nurturing environment for my crew.  That is alright.  We don’t always have to gain something by participating.  But in our case, we wouldn’t be able to give anything either because those people are not interested in changing their lives or learning how to live after the manner of happiness.  So to try to continue those things would actually be harming to my children.  The holidays would be filled with contention instead of love and peace, which they have now, with only our family.

So, do you want to hear my amazing Thanksgiving story that shows Heavenly Father loves me??

As these things were coming to my consciousness, I decided that it was super important to me to have a beautiful table for Thanksgiving day.  I read some other blogs and saw the cool things they were doing for their tables and thought about what I would like to do for ours.  I recognized that I didn’t have the money they did to do the things they did.  But I found some very cool placemats at Target for $3.00!!  (Giant turkeys you could color with a wordsearch.)  I told Drew that I was going to go and get material for a table cloth.   But I would check Walmart first to see if they had anything that would be cheaper than material at JoAnn’s with a 40% off coupon.  As I was digging in the cupboard to find the coupon, I came across some amazing material with scarecrows all over it!  (People give me material and I don’t always remember what they have given me.)  I took the material and laid it across the table.  There was plenty to cover the table with a little extra.  It was wide enough to cover the table top, but not enough to go over the edges.  Then I found another piece of material that would work as the edges and there was just the perfect amount for that.  I threw both materials into the washing machine.

kind of like these

The next day I ironed them and fixed my serger (just oiled it really).  Then I made the table cloth and eight napkins!  It was so cool!!  I felt so happy and so very loved.  Really, silly, I know!  But I didn’t have to spend any money!!  I had it all at home.  I just had to do a little bit of work!  Then Sun and I made place cards for our Thanksgiving feast and she set the table with our beautiful green IKEA dishes and I found a vase in the cupboard that matched for the center piece.  It was so cool!  Sorry no photos!  Someday, we’ll figure that out also 🙂

not this fancy

Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and let you know that I love the holidays and that Heavenly Father loves me too and cares about silly things that are important to us!  He loves you too!!

On the brighter side of things, we have been potty training for one week and one day now and things are going amazing!!!  Spike Spike has figured it out.  We have had a few hurdles, but nothing horrible or unmanageable.  Yea!!!

Have a great weekend!!

I have been pondering lately on the influence each of us has on others, for good or for bad.  It started with my scripture studies.  I have been reading in the book of Alma in the Book of Mormon.  Currently, I have been studying Aaron’s teachings to King Lamoni’s father.  As I was reading the part where the people decide to call themselves the Anti-Nephi-Lehi’s, I thought, let’s see, where does this whole thing really start anyway?

Then I read back, and back and back a few generations.  The Anti-Nephi-Lehi’s were the people of the lands of Nephi and Ishmael, under the reign of King Lamoni and King Lamoni’s brother ‘Anti-Nephi-Lehi (who was given the kingdom by King Lamoni’s father).  These are the parents of the 2060 stripling warriors.  They are taught the gospel after Aaron teaches King Lamoni’s father and he collapses to the earth as he prays to know God and be forgiven of his sins.  Then the queen comes in and sees Aaron standing over the king.  She commands his servants to slay Aaron.  The servants who have seen the interaction between Aaron and King Lamoni’s father say, ‘Uh, no.  We will not slay him.’  She then seeks to call the people to have them slay Aaron.  Then Aaron, realizing the determination of the queen to kill him, raises King Lamoni’s father up and the father then testifies to the queen and his servants his miraculous change of heart, and commands that his people are taught by Aaron, Ammon and their brethren.

King Lamoni’s father is open to listening to Aaron because on his journeys he runs into Lamoni and Ammon, where he almost loses his life but because of Ammon’s example, the great king recognizes this Nephite’s love for his son.  When Ammon spares his life and only asks in return that Lamoni and his people can be free to practice religion as they see fit, the father’s heart is significantly softened (this is his event for opening up his heart to the gospel).

I’m sure you know the story of King Lamoni’s conversion and how Ammon saves his sheep and the servants set to guard them.  King Lamoni and the servants are open to Ammon’s words because of his ability to protect them and the sheep and then his willingness to continue in his duties as if that was just a normal part of his day.  Ammon’s example and that event is what opens their heart to the hearing of Ammon’s words.  During this story, after Ammon explains the doctrines to King Lamoni and Lamoni sinks to the earth, as his father then does later, his servants take him to his bed and he lies there for two days before the queen sends for Ammon to receive counsel about her husband.  She says, ‘people say he stinks and we should put him in the ground, but I’m not sure.  What do you think?’  To which Ammon says, ‘he sleeps in God, tomorrow he will awake’. 

I wondered, how did Ammon know he would wake up the next day?  Then I remembered, Ammon is one of the sons of King Mosiah.  He is one of Alma the Younger’s buddies and he was with him when the angel showed up and Alma the Younger sunk to the earth and was out for three days!!  Ammon has seen this before!  This wasn’t new to him.  That experience was Ammon’s ‘wake-up’ call.

Why did Alma the Younger and the four sons of Mosiah (Ammon, Aaron, Omner and Himni) have their miraculous experience of having an angel call them to repentance?  Well, that would be because Alma the Elder had been praying for something to help his son change and know the truth.  Alma the Elder, you recall, was the only one of the priests in the court of King Noah, who listened and heard and believed the prophet Abinadi (who testified before them in chains and was burned alive) Mosiah chapters 11-17. 

All of these miraculous changes come about because one man was willing to testify before a generation of wickedness and lose his life.  In the space of maybe three generations, but within the lifetimes of two men, thousands of people (specifically Lamanites!) are converted!!  Their conversion is so great and amazing, their faith so very strong, that their children fight in battle for the Nephites and though they are young and inexperienced, they do not lose their lives in the battle.   This is amazing!!  (Do you realize that Alma is our largest volume of record in the Book of Mormon, but it only covers about 40 years of time?  Why do you think that is?!  We get a detailed look at Alma’s society and it is only 50 years or so before the coming of Christ.  Think about that for awhile!  This book was compiled for our day!!)

Now here is how that applies to us.  We do not usually see the changes that occur across the generations from us into the future.  We cannot know or understand how our behavior in the present will affect generations down the road.  But we can look at history and see how one person’s behavior affected thousands of people, then we hail those people as heros, or prophets.  “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.”  Drew’s favorite saying is:  The Lord will not use a spotlight, where a flashlight will do the job.  A lot of times, we are looking for the dramatic, the amazing, the spectacular.

I am sure Abinadi did not believe that what he was doing was spectacular.  During his mortality, it appeared no one was listening to him.  Without his courage and faith and obedience in standing and testifying before the court of King Noah and calling them to repentance, the entire string of Alma (and those souls who followed him–more than 450 or so), Alma the Younger and the four sons of Mosiah, their teaching of the Lamanites (all of King Lamoni’s people and his brother’s people—-all those Lamanites in the lands of Ishmael, Middoni, Nephi, Shilom, Shemlon, Lemuel, and Shimnilom—plus those who are converted when the Anti-Nephi-Lehi’s won’t fight, more than 1,005), and their children 2060 (young men only–so we could probably double that to include the girls)………that is an extremely conservative estimate of more than 76,000 people (10,000 for each city listed, and I didn’t include Limhi and his people, who Alma baptizes-descendents of King Noah )!!  From one man’s testimony!!!  One man, who didn’t appear to making a difference in mortality!

My point is:  What are we doing with our mortality?!  We may not feel we are making a difference.  We may believe no one is listening to us.  But I am hear to tell you, your behavior and your example do make a difference.  You might be the flashlight the Lord is trying to work with in illuminating a generation of people, like He did with Abinadi.  The Lord knows who is listening.  He has a generational perspective.  We do not.

The adversary would tell us our example does not make a difference.  You are only one man or one woman, no one is listening, it doesn’t matter.  That is a lie!  One man or one woman matters!!  Your example and your faith and obedience and determination does matter!  It matters over generations!  Be the voice!  Stand up for your beliefs, even if you stand alone!!  (Because though it feels that way and may look that way, you are never alone when you stand for righteousness because God and His angels are standing beside you and rooting for you and praying for you!!!)

If you need a further witness, read Mitt Romney’s devotional forum to BYU this last week.  Stand strong, stand firm, stand alone if necessary!!

I had this great blog post planned for today!  Then life has hit me and I am swimming in toddler underwear and urine.  Sweet!  My favorite!  So in lieu of something uplifting, I will just recount the adventures we have been having at our house.

So Spike, Spike has been able to use the toilet since he was about 2 and 1/2, an entire year ago.  Last year, during the Christmas holidays, I spent some of his money on training pants.  I thought we were totally ready to go.  They sat there, and sat there and sat there for an entire year!  Once in a while, I would bring them up and ask Spike if he would like to try them out.  The answer was always the same, “No, not right now, maybe another day.”  Then I would wait for weeks or months and then ask him again.  And that is how it went for the last year.

Finally, now that he is 3 and 1/2 and Primary Sunbeams class is happening in January, I thought, good grief. It is time to get this show on the road!  I thought maybe I was handling him wrong.  After raising 8 toddlers, I thought I knew what I was doing and pretty much had a handle on this whole potty training thingy.  Well, Smiley was not a willing potty trainer either.  I learned with him, that the ‘wait until they’re ready’ method, doesn’t work with every single child.  It is good for most, and necessary for all (in that if you push them too hard, you will make the problem worse).   This isn’t about potty training the parents, it is potty training the child.

When I convinced Smiley that wearing underwear would be cool and that he could hold his urine until he was ready to put it into the toilet and that way keep his pants dry, he took me literally (which his personality is prone to do…….but he was so little that I didn’t know it then).  He literally held his urine the entire day!  He put on the underwear in the morning after his wet diaper and kept them dry until 8 p.m. that night.  The kid would not use the toilet and he did not wet his pants.  I was worried we were going to have to take him to the emergency room before he ruptured his bladder.  Well, as I explained the situation to my husband, Drew said, he is just going to have to go.  And then Drew sat him on the toddler toilet and held him there until he would go.  Smiley screamed and screamed and screamed, beads of sweat were rolling down of his head, and started kicking because he was so upset.  He finally lost all control and urine went everywhere!  It was awful!!  But, that was all he needed.  From then on, Smiley used the toilet and potty training was a breeze from there on out.  But that first day, good grief!!  What a day!

As I pondered Smiley’s experiences and thought about Spike’s personality, I realized he hates change, fights change, but once it happens, he manages.  Wearing underwear is a change.  So yesterday, I fought through it.  I had been prepping him for three days.  I told him when the package of diapers we were using ran out, we were not going to wear them anymore.  I made him try on his underwear once a day.  He could pull it right back off, but I strongly encouraged him to (and didn’t let him get out of) putting them on his body.  The morning the diaper package ran out, I told him it was time to wear them.  He refused.  He refused to let me change his diaper.  So I told him that when the diaper got so full that it leaked, it was coming off and then we were wearing underwear.  Period.  No exceptions.  I went about my day.

About 2 hours later, the moment was upon us.  He had a bowel movement and it was everywhere.  The day before, he had one that didn’t get changed right away and made him sore.  I reminded him that if I didn’t get it off his rear end, it was going to be sore and hurt.  He let me take it off and clean him.  Then I told him it was time to wear underwear.  I had brought them all out earlier in the morning when I tried to put them on him.  I told him to choose his pair.  He refused and screamed for his diaper.  I refused and told him that I would be happy to put him in underwear but if that is not what he wanted, he would just have to be naked.  That went on for half an hour with him yelling at me to put a diaper on him, and me quietly repeating that I would not put a diaper on him but would be happy to put underwear on him.

Then I had a stroke of genius.  It was probably the Spirit helping me to motivate my child.  But the last two weeks, Spike has gone grocery shopping with me and I have gotten him a Churro from Costco for behaving well while we are shopping.  It was grocery shopping day.  I told him that I needed to go to the grocery store, but unless he was wearing pants and underwear, he would not be able to go with me.  I would have to just get  a churro by myself.  Since it was raining, he would have to have underwear and pants, and socks and shoes and a sweater.  Oh well.  I guess I’ll just go by myself.  That did the trick.  He was willing to put on his underwear and pants.

Before we left for shopping, I took him into the bathroom and asked him to use the toilet so we could go shopping without an accident.  He did!  I packed a bag for him in case we had an accident while shopping.  We finished our shopping, churro in hand, and went and picked his brothers up from school and got home all without incident.  Then I took him to the bathroom at home.  It was a super successful day, just because he was willing to wear underwear (even though we went through five pair)!!!  It was a miracle!

He even wore them to bed!!  I just took him to the toilet before bed and again when he woke up.  At this point, I have to take him to the toilet.  He is not willing to decide for himself and take himself there.  But this is all in the process right?  We rejoice in the little steps and congratulate heavily, the small steps!!  At this point, we had tried all of my potty training tricks that worked with the other children.  None were working with Spike.  He is not the other children.  He needed a different routine and different motivations and different rewards.  It is just not the normal stuff and he is exhausting!

Each trip to the toilet is a battle of the wills and an exercise in diplomacy.  (And because he loves to drink water, today I have to set the timer to take him to the toilet, or I forget and he has an accident.)  Wish me luck!! Maybe by the end of the Thanksgiving Holiday, Spike will have this whole toilet training thing mastered!!  (And I will have survived my most difficult child to date!)